Has one of your children ever said something so funny and so unexpected that you literally hurt from laughing so hard?

When my daughter was around 4, her favorite blanket was lying in the middle of the floor and I asked her to pick it up. It was a loosely woven crochet blanket that a friend of my former mother-in-law had made. She carried the blanket everywhere. On this particular day, after I asked her to pick it up, she said “His name is Mees.” I asked her to repeat herself and she said it again. I was mildly amused, but what she said next really broke me up.

“He speaks French.”

Mees. World’s only French speaking blanket.

(P.S. She still sleeps with Mees and she’s 16)

I choked when my 5-year old nephew asked, “Are you SURE there isn’t a bone in my penis?”

My son married a young woman with a daughter from her previous marriage. So I became her “grandfather if she wants one”. When I met her for the first time this summer, she was about to be six years old, and a total charmer. I brought my dorg for the meeting, and everyone got along great.

She loves my little dorg, Willow. With that name and a pink leash, how could she be anything but a girl dorg? Julie got that right away.

Whenever anyone else met the dorg for the first time and asked for “his” name, Julie would tell them simply, “He’s a girl.” Broke me up every time.

I don’t have kids, but i did get to see my brother grow up.

One night him and my mother where looking at a book that had pictures of animals. my mother pointed to a horse and said, whats that? my brother said, thats a horsee. my mother corrected him, and said no, its not a horsee its a horse, babies say horsee, big boys say horse.

The next day or a couple of days later we where walking past a field full of donkeys, my mother said look greg, donkeys. my brother turned round and said its not a donkey, its a donk, only little kids say donkey, big boys say donk.

Oh way too many, i’d be here all week. Okay i’ll give you one from my son. He’d have been around six maybe seven. We visited a local cathedral, not religious but it was on our “stuff to do” that day. As we were walking around taking things in, a guy dressed in robes appeared out of nowhere. I reckon they have many secret little doors in those places. Anyway as I say, he kind of took my son by suprise because he jumped a little. The guy smiled at him as he walked off. My son beckoned for my ear & whispered with complete sincerity to me “Dad, was that God!” Now my first reaction was awwwwww bless what a cute thing to say. After a while however I was creased up with laughter along with him I might add. It was the look on his face as he said it that cracked me up. By the way if he knew I was telling “strangers” this, he’d probably give me a fat lip!”

@ucme. That’s adorable

@diavolobella Isn’t it just. Later I felt a tiny bit guilty for laughing even though he did too. Like I say though just the flashback of the expression on his face as he said it. Adorable & funny…....just like Dad :¬)

Oh my gosh…so many times. My kids are insane. I’ve probably mentioned these here before, but these are some that stand out:

When my daughter was about 4, we were eating dinner one night and she said, in her most serious voice, “Mommy, I think I’m a little bit psycho.” My husband and I almost spit dinner everywhere, we were laughing so hard. She meant psychic, and even she laughed when we explained what was so funny.

My middle child was in the bathtub one evening when he was about 3 or 4 years old. He was splashing around, having a good old time, when suddenly he got this amazed look on his face and said to me, “Mommy, I have a hole! In my butt! I can even stick my finger in it!” Kids are so precious.

My youngest probably makes us laugh the most. He’s a total drama queen, mispronounces the funniest words, and has a crazy imagination. My favorite thing was something he said a lot, probably as part his Oedipal complex. If we were playing around with the kids and the youngest would jump on me or tease me, my husband would say, “Hey! Be nice! That’s my wife!” The kid would get really mad and say, “No Daddy, she’s not just your life! She’s all our’s life!” We’d crack up every time. Another day, when he was about four, my son looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said in the sweetest voice, “When I grow up, I’m going to crush Daddy so I can marry you.” I love that kid.

@ucme. Kids are so funny. My daughter’s follow up story to her blanket is this. After she told me the blanket spoke French. I asked her what it sounded like. She said “Mees mees mees mees mees.” I asked her how he sounds when he speaks English and…you guessed it…“Mees mees mees mees mees.”

LOL

Don’t you just love it when they know they’re being funny & just lap it up? :¬)

So, we were having dinner and talking about dietary choices. Our neighbor has a daughter that decided to become a vegitarian. We explained to our son that this meant that she had decided not to eat meat and that we should be supportive of her dietary choices. So, my son stares at his plate with a very thoughtful look for about 60 seconds and then anounces:

“Dad… I’ve decided to give up vegetables.”

when my son was two he accidentally knocked a bowl of food off his high chair. He looked over the side at the mess and calmly said, “oh, shit.”

^ We just broke my 2 year old son of “oh shit”. Now it’s “Oh goodness! I’m okay!” or “Oh goodness, you okay?”

The next is to get him to enunciate “Fire truck” properly. Only so long we can keep from giggling uncontrollably when he shouts “FLYFUCK!”

OMG, I absolutely LOVE all these stories! I adore hearing funny things kids say, it makes me smile.

Not my own children, but my younger brother did, when he was about 5. We were all sat at the dinner table and my sister and I (who were 18 and 16 at the time) were discussing the pros and cons of being vegetarian, as my sister had just decided to start being one. My little brother was listening intently and then he piped up: “I’m not a vegetarian, I’m a Scorpio!” (He picked that up from mum who’s into astrology and other new-agey things).

My little brother was watch TV with the volume up. My stepdad yelled, “Lower the music, what are you, deaf?”

My brother calmly looked at him and said, “If I were deaf, I wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway.”

He was about 3 years old at the time.

We were all staying at Mom’s house, and I offered to take my young nephew upstairs for his nap. I was reading him a book, when he glanced over at the dresser and noticed a photo of his mother in her wedding gown. His eyes grew wide and said, “Ohhh, I didn’t know that my mother was a princess!”

One Christmas morning, after opening all of the presents, the same nephew and I were playing with some of the toys. He looked up at me and asked, “Aunt Pied, are you a parent or a child?” (Apparently, those are the only choices.)

My daughter, the hellion of all hellions at age three, had just thrown a big rock at her sister. I said “Oh, Lisa, I have never seen anyone like you!” to which she replied “Well no one likes you either Mommy!” My friend and I laughed so hard we cried.

It’s not what my granddaughter K (age5) said, its what she did. Last week my sister was trying to relax and watch TV, and K just wouldn’t sit still so sister fussed at her and sent her into another room to play. Well that didn’t sit well with K. Now K knows it’s a no-no to stick her tongue out, so she went into another room and cut out a figure of a tongue and taped it on to my sister’s door.

We’re leaving it on the door, because we get a laugh out of it everytime we walk pass.

My son when he was about 7, he was riding in the backseat of my car, I had a hard rock station on the radio and they played “Big Balls” by AC/DC, and my son calls out, “is he talking about his nuts?”

I had to revisit this to add: my little 5 year old, with a teeny tiny adorable voice, just used the word “ass” in a sentence. Then she realized what she’d done, said, “Oop!” (just oop, no s, lol) and covered her own mouth. My in-laws were over and we all busted up laughing. I had to ask her to not use that word until she’s a grownup, but we were all still laughing.