Social Question

DrasticDreamer's avatar

Does love change anything for you?

Asked by DrasticDreamer (19307 points ) October 13th, 2010

Does love make you willing to step outside of your personal issues and comfort zone?

If you hate dancing, for instance, but your love enjoys it, are you willing to do it anyway? If you’re not social in general, but your love enjoys social gatherings, do you go with them anyway?

I’m not asking about ideals here – or thoughts about what you think romantic love should be. I’m asking about the things that you yourself would actually do for love. What if you had to overcome one of your greatest fears – whatever it may be – in order to even obtain/experience romantic love? Would love or your fear win?

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25 Answers

zen_'s avatar

GQ – and I’m just in time to say… everything. Love changes everything.

But sheesh – men and women sure be different.

Seek's avatar

My husband is in a band. As “Mitch’s Wife”, I do my fair share of playing the part of arm-candy, PR person, Merch Wench, or spur of the moment “Yeah, you should all come and crash at my place!” hostess.

It takes a lot out of me to do that, with my social anxieties. A lot of the time I have to catch myself trying to retreat into the wallpaper. I think I’m getting better. Sorta.

genkan's avatar

I detest museums with a passion, yet I spent hours upon hours accompanying someone I liked to museums, just for the sake of spending time with the person. Museums and artsy films and parks and pretentious places; gosh that was boring.

The worst bit is that I know I’d do it all over again for the next person I fall for. I have ‘sucker’ written all over me.

(At least it’s a reason to step out of your comfort zone.)

loser's avatar

Just everything.

YARNLADY's avatar

Yes, people will generally be respectful of their partners differences.

ucme's avatar

It changes my bank account…..frequently. Yo oh heave ho :¬)

sweetsugaryandohsohot's avatar

yea. it changes alot.

partyparty's avatar

Yes. It gives you someone walking by your side, through the good and the bad times.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I go out of my way for my loved ones.fear doesn’t stop me

free_fallin's avatar

Fear has stopped me in the past. Even when I love someone, it still takes a lot to get through my walls. I don’t easily share my feelings. I am quite the introvert and have social anxiety issues; these things have stopped me in the past from going somewhere with the people I love. When I am sad, I just want to stay inside my head and not discuss it with anyone. These roadblocks inside me are vicious. I am working on tearing them down but I don’t know if they will ever be completely gone. Honesty isn’t the issue; if the person I love hurts me, I tell them, but if it is another aspect of my life that has nothing to do with them then the chances of me exposing that are slim. I am currently dealing with these issues in a new relationship. I am in a long distance relationship, which makes things more difficult. He needs me to express everything and not shut him out when I feel the walls closing in. I don’t want to shut him out. It’s been a whirlwind romance. It’s scary, it’s fucking fantastic and I freak out daily. I am working on things because I love him and I want to share everything with him forever. I have jumped and taken a big risk with him. I may freak out about it but I know he is worth it. I know we both are worth it.

To sum it up Yes, love changes things. It gives me power. I feel the energy I need to change the things about myself I know need to change. It gives me a boost. While fear is always going to be a driving force in our lives, because that is just how we humans were born. Fear is important. No one is fearless. we can overcome the roadblocks when we know there is something/someone on the other side that is worth it.

Fairylover78's avatar

Love does change some things, but not all. I love my husband enough to respect the things he does and doesnt like to do and he does the same for me. I love to Dance and He does not, but I love him enough to respect him and not bug him to do something he’s not comfortable doing too…. That’s why I have friends that do like to dance! Just because we love eachother doesn’t mean that we have to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations for the other person and if you respect eachother enough you dont even think to try. Sure there is always sacrifices in Love on one side or the other, but it’s the mutual respect and understanding that holds it all together. It would make me feel awful to know that he was miserable because I talked him into doing something he didn’t want to do. And the sacrifices we do make for eachother can be compromised so that we can both come out of it happy. I think when you truly love someone you accept them for who they are and would never ask them to change to suit your likes or dislikes or put them in an uncomfortable position that could otherwise have been avoided.

CMaz's avatar

Love changes everything.

I will and have gone to hell and back for it.

And I would do it again. Please, somebody stop me!

lapilofu's avatar

I do a lot for the people I love. Even things that make me uncomfortable (within reason) are a pleasure to do with and for them.

Scooby's avatar

When I’m in a relationship, I like to think I’m a selfless partner…. I do try to put her first, her wants, her needs…. I draw the line at wearing makeup!! I am a modern man btw but what’s with women wanting men to wear make up??:-/ or getting botox for crying out loud, just because Gordon Ramsey had it done!!! love me I say, laughter lines & all..

Axemusica's avatar

I used to be willing to do anything for love, but time and time again I’m let down by the ones I’ve been caring about and they abandon me as if I had never felt anything at all. I’m growing grim with love, not because I want to, but because I’m fed up with having to super glue my heart back together. So, in a sense, yes. Love does change things & almost everything. Because lets be real, love can’t change you into a Hobbit, so no it doesn’t change everything.

I’ve moved from the midwest (WI) to the east coast (NJ) for love. Obviously that didn’t work out too well since I’ve have moved a few times since, but that’s not the point, lol. Point is that I made that trip, risk, leap (whatever you want to call it) all for love. It’s not the first time I’ve considered changing my life around for love, but recently I’ve had a change of heart about (Women and) love and I’ve started considering what things (in my life) I’m willing to change for love.

Fuck it. I’ll just move to the mountains with a dog, a gun and a guitar. lol.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Love definitely changes what a person is willing to do. I have found myself watching countless episodes of car shows and hours of the History Channel on TV, because it’s what he likes to watch. I do have to say that he doesn’t easily return the favor by going to the movie theater with me….. Hmmm. I’m going to have to get him for that.

chels's avatar

Love has made me someone I couldn’t have ever dreamed of. I have opened myself up in ways I never thought was possible. I was always scared to express things, especially after things with my mom happened. I wasn’t allowed to cry or show any sort of emotion. It was looked down upon. And now to be able to not only do that, but to express how I feel all the time about anything at all.. It’s the craziest thing and I’m still getting used to it. I feel honestly blessed to be able to have someone I can tell everything to and to have that person truly understand, or atleast try to. I couldn’t possibly feel any luckier. I say how I feel when I feel it no matter what I think the other person will say or think, and to be able to do that is incredible.

I have learned to be a better person – I care more, I love more, I make an effort and I never take for granted. I have become a better listener, a better friend.

I never knew what it could feel like to really love someone, to feel honestly devoted to someone – it’s the best feeling in the entire world. To mean something to someone and to know it, I’m not sure there’s anything better than that. Knowing that I have someone who I can call my family—my family. I feel as though it’s the most important thing in the world. Everything else could go to shit and as long as I have him, that’s all that’d matter, really.

Love changes the way I see things, the way I see people, and places, and just everything. It has changed who I am.

partyparty's avatar

@chels Aw that is such a lovely answer :)))))

chels's avatar

@partyparty Thank you :)

ZEPHYRA's avatar

It changes everything, it is the alpha and omega of everything.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I once drowned when I was a kid and have random seizing up of my body in water ever since, doesn’t matter how deep, how shallow or even how much fun I’m having. When in love with a particular partner then I decided to join him in his love of longboard surfing and let him teach me.

Our training ground was in “The Red Triangle”, an area surrounding the Farallon Islands and famous for great white shark attacks on humans. I’d never gone into the ocean further than waist deep even though I love it and surfing required me to paddle out at least ¼ mile off shore into black waters less than 40 degrees.

One time I was crashed on by a wave that pushed me under and then spat me out into the air so hard I wasn’t sure if it was just water or if I’d been nailed from below by a shark. I continued to go surfing and make myself enjoy it, in the name of love.

Blueroses's avatar

I would turn from a logical, even-tempered person satisfied with my own company into an obsessive, possessive fool with fragile emotions. Oh, hello Jaded, have you met Bitter? Come sit down here with me.

smilingheart1's avatar

Love really does make the world go round. Any kind of love is worth living for, but the special love that bonds two people to mesh their hearts and nurture family life. Can there be anything finer on the planet?

emeraldisles's avatar

Unless the actions back up the words. The words don’t mean anything if they are said and not shown.

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