What is your favorite witty comeback or catchphrase?
What do you say in situations where you can make a humorous statement, or a comment or something of that nature? Or, your catchphrase?
I often find myself saying “Gosh”, but I pronounce it like “Gawsh” for some reason.
Do you say something like “Your face” or “Your mom”, for example? I don’t think anyone actually says those things anymore, though.
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35 Answers
SWEEEEEET!
Or… Cheese and crackers!
“What I wouldn’t give for a large sock with horse manure in it!”
Thank you, Woody Allen.
@Austinlad : What would you do with a large sock with horse manure in it?
- you are an idiot.
– no you are an idiot.
– hey, if i wanted my own comeback i would have wiped it off your mothers chin.
source
Jog on
Spray that again
Are you chewing a brick?
My thirteen year old daughter/son could have done that right.
OH,YEAAAAAH????? I don’t have one.I just wing it ;)
Sometimes I say, “Shh, wait…..did you hear that….?”, and then I walk away lol.
Here are some that I’ve heard that most of you youngsters haven’t:
“What a revoltin’ development dis is!”
“Well, I’ll be a blue-nose gopher!”
“Just the facts m’am, just the facts.” Dom da dom DOM!
My favorite catchphrase is, “But officer, if this weed was legal, just think how much more of your salary I’d be paying.”.
After an exchange of comebacks, the following usually ends the discussion:
“If I wanted the comeback, I’d scrape it off your girlfriend’s chin.”
When it’s completely out of context and will derail the conversation, I like to throw in a “Oh yeah,... prove it!”
“Check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
@Brian1946 I recognized William Bendix? (revoltin) really really old show and Dragnet. lol
I can’t think of a favorite comeback but when I do, it won’t be witty.
It’ll be awful like, “boy, this sucks” and that’s not a comeback. I’ll have to ponder this one.
@troubleinharlem, I fantasize smacking it over the head of anyone who irritates me. It Woody’s brand of sardonic humor.
My kids will sometimes jokingly say, “Your Mom” to me, and I retort “YOUR Mom….oh wait…nevermind.”
We say “Whatever” to each other a lot, but it’s the voice we use that makes it funny. My friend at work and I often tell each other to “Go eat your food, you fat lard.” We also get into the whole “Loser.” “No, YOU’RE a Loser.” “No, YOU”. I tell my kids (jokingly) to shut their cake holes.
I personally like Sheldon’s comeback to gravity: “Oh gravity, thou art a heartless bitch.”
@erichwa1504
I find myself saying BAZINGA! a lot.
@Aster
William Bendix (Life of Riley) is right!
My favorite combination catchphrase is, “Your ass is grass, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!”.
If I wanted to hear from an ass I would fart!
Not really a comeback, but I use “Sandy Duncan” as an expletive. I use it when others might yell Jesus H Christ. Example: (hit thumb with hammer) “Awww Sandy Duncan, my thumb!”
@Brian1946 Gleason as Riley??? I don’t think I saw that .
Trying to quit cussing so much, my daughter taught me to say “cheese and rice”.
Being flipped off; “Is that how many friends you had before your dog died?”
Detroit rough; :“When I want your opinion I’ll beat it out of you.”
Too much trouble to argue with a simpleton; “Ahhhh, go to hell.”
Come on, dude. If you want me to understand youse, youse got to speak in one of the world’s 4100 understood languages—and hieroglyphics ain’t one of dem.
I don’t nose what you be tryin’ to hump out here, but I can say that duh better parts of youse musta run down youse old man’s leg.
Just keep tryin’, ‘cause if at first you don’t succeed than maybe skydiving ain’t for youse.
Dat’s what we sez in Philly.
‘You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I beat you with until you can see that I’m the one in charge here!’ (just kidding…never used that… but I’d love to one day.)
@cazzie
”(just kidding…never used that… but I’d love to one day.)”
Isn’t that what kids are for? ;-)
JK.
I’ve had people here attack me and my favorite saying, “thank you for tuning me up today, i needed that!”
@BoBo1946
With such a peaceful approach to confrontation, you are truly BoBo Gandhi. ;-)
@Brian1946 Loll…nicest thing said to me today Brian! Thank you very much!
Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They’re running out of YOU.
A lot of these insults seem old-fashioned and innocent, but that’s why they’re funny. Or maybe I’ve been around crude younger people too long lol?
Say anything often enough and it’s no longer witty.
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