Social Question

seazen's avatar

Adults: besides your kids and S/O's - have you added anyone recently to your "unconditional love" list?

Asked by seazen (6098 points ) October 15th, 2010

Is there a time frame, is it only for our kids and closest friends from childhood – maybe it’s me – but I don’t recall loving anyone unconditionally.

Vous?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

32 Answers

ucme's avatar

Well, we got a puppy almost a year ago now. Not the same it’s true, but as close as it’s going to get. I wuv Penny I do! :¬)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I don’t think I believe in unconditional love, honestly.

partyparty's avatar

My beautiful dogs have my unconditional love ... and this in turn is returned by them on a daily basis :))

lapilofu's avatar

Like @Neizvestnaya my love always has conditions. But there are people I trust to forever maintain those conditions—and there are getting to be more all the time.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My SO’s parents. I love and respect them more than some of the blood relatives.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@lapilofu just completed what I couldn’t articulate! There are people I trust to maintain those conditions. That doesn’t mean I think it’s impossible they won’t ever let me down over something but I trust that they won’t.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

My friend Foofy—she knows who she is—XD

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I, too, don’t believe in unconditional love. My love is conditional on respect and morality of my partner and kids. There is a difference, however, between feeling love and expressing love. I might always love my kids and partner even if they hurt me, but they won’t be getting any love from me through expression.

eden2eve's avatar

I believe it’s possible to feel unconditional love. I have experienced profoundly deep injuries from several people, and I still love them. I don’t trust them, but the love didn’t disappear.

TexasDude's avatar

My circle of friends.

Seek's avatar

I don’t believe in unconditional love, either.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@eden2eve writes something I do believe in though I haven’t ever called it unconditional love. There are people who I don’t choose to express my love for any longer due to trust and other breaches but I do still feel like I love them. It’s such a sad wasteful feeling though, I can’t imagine that’s what anyone imagines with “unconditional love”.

Aster's avatar

what @eden2eve said. But I think I’ll add the dogs . Wow; what a hassle they are but the love remains.

downtide's avatar

I don’t think I believe in unconditional love either. Maybe when my daughter was small and dependent it was conditional then, but now she’s an adult herself, I can think of plenty of things that love is dependent on. Same goes for my partner.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m not sure that I believe in unconditional love, either. However, in an attempt to stay on-topic.. I love a handful of my friends (not just long term friends), in the very same way that I love my family.

partyparty's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Such a lovely answer :)

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Only you, @seazen. Only you.

ducky_dnl's avatar

Nope, but I have added a few to the “geez I hate you” list.

seazen's avatar

@hawaii_jake Awww, moi?

@ducky_dnl Awww, moi aussi?

YARNLADY's avatar

I love just about everybody. It doesn’t mean I am accepting of their behavior, but that doesn’t change my love for them.

An example would be my toddlers, I love them to death, but I don’t like it when they hit each other, or grab my craft stuff. That doesn’t mean I stop loving them.

Akua's avatar

No such thing as unconditional love. Everything hinges on conditions. And just because we can and do have children doesn’t mean we automatically love them. Unconditional love basically means that when you love someone you can do anything bad you want to them and they will continue to love you anyway. Yea ok…

Seaofclouds's avatar

I believe in unconditional love. For me, that love only lies with my family and a few really close friends. My dad has done some horrible things to me and although we are no longer on speaking terms, I still love him. You can love someone without always liking them, in my opinion.

Akua's avatar

@Seaofclouds you make a good point. Unfortunately the OP and the term is called unconditional love, not unconditional like. Of course I love a lot of people I do not necessarily like but that doesn’t mean I love you unconditionally. If I decide to love you despite the fact that I don’t like you then even my liking you has conditions. I hope I’m making myself clear.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Akua Not really. Perhaps it’s different for you than it is for me (since you said you specifically can love someone without liking them but that doesn’t mean you love them unconditionally), but I can love someone unconditionally without liking them. Liking them can be conditional, but the love isn’t (for me). The only way I can think to really explain it is to really explain the situation with my father.

My father molested me when I was little. When I was pregnant with my son, I was trying to get past what he had done to me and have a relationship with him so that he would be part of his grandson’s life. I was about 7 months pregnant and he raised his fist to punch me in the mist of a disagreement he and my mom were in (I happened to be the one in the middle). After that we didn’t talk much for a while because I couldn’t trust him. After a while, I found the strength to forgive him and completely put the past behind us. We talked about everything and agreed we were going to start fresh. Things were great for about a year and then he said some really mean things about me to some friends of the family. I confronted him about them privately and that was the last time I spoke with him. He has since decided to cut me out of his life completely. That’s his choice though and I won’t ask him to do otherwise. Because of his most recent actions and things he said about me, I don’t really like him. I will always love him though. All the things he has done don’t matter because he is my father and without him I wouldn’t be here. If something were to happen to him tomorrow, I would do what I could to help because I will always love him for being my father. That is the type of unconditional love I have for my family and close friends.

Akua's avatar

@Seaofclouds – I’m so sorry to hear what that man did to you but once again we are not obligated to love anyone. Not the people we give birth to nor the people that give birth to us. These are choices. You made yours and I have made mine. You say that you stopped trusting him after he raised his hand to you while you were pregnant but for some reason you didn’t feel the need to distrust him after he molested you? Wow, that’s deep. Child molesters and pedophiles count on that type of loyalty to keep their secrets. At the very least I wouldn’t have wanted him around another child (your child) to repeat the abuse. I’m sorry, I don’t agree with what your saying but I submit to your right to feel the way you feel.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Akua I didn’t trust him once I realized what he had done to me. I was attempting to rebuild a relationship with him when I was pregnant with my son because family is important to me and I had forgiven him for what happened when I was a child. When he raised his fist to me, it was proof to me that I couldn’t trust him at that point, meaning I wasn’t going to be able to rebuild a relationship with him (even though I tried again years later). My father has never been alone with my son and has only seen him a handful of times since he was born. I would never have let him be alone with my son or any other child and I made sure no one else does either. This isn’t a secret that no one else knew about. I told what happened to me to and it was dealt with a long time ago.

I never said anyone was obligated to love anyone. I was explaining what unconditional love is to me since you seemed to question it with your response. My point about the story was to show what unconditional love is to me. I’m not expecting anyone else to have the same level of unconditional love that I do (and that’s their choice). I’m simply stating what it is to me and that I have that love for my family and close friends.

Akua's avatar

Okay @Seaofclouds , I apologize if it may have seemed as though I misunderstood you.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@Akua No apology necessary. :)

seazen's avatar

Get a room.

MilkyWay's avatar

yes…you guys on Fluther.
Please don’t think I’m kidding. <3

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther