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Jude's avatar

(NFSW) Breaking down and crying during sex; has this happened to you?

Asked by Jude (31966 points ) October 24th, 2010

There has been a lot going on in my life, lately. It has been extremely difficult emotionally. This past week has been especially rough.

I was with my SO this morning, and, well, one thing led to another. Mid-sex, I suddenly (and out of nowhere), started to cry. I couldn’t help it. I should add, though, that the sex was a bit painful and I think that may have brought on the emotional crying.

I have cried after sex (happy/emotional cry), but, this was different. And, instead of wanting my partner to hold me, I pulled away for a bit.

Why did I cry?

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19 Answers

funkdaddy's avatar

I think this is one of those “we’d have to know more” sort of things to nail down specifically why you were crying…

My guess would be, somewhere along the way your focus moved momentarily from what was right in front of you (your partner) to what’s been going on (the recent stress)... that triggered the sadness, then the fact that not even sex with someone you love could completely take away the pain and stress of whatever is going on in your life probably led to crying.

Were you hoping for an escape and just didn’t find it?

I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through and hope this week brings better news and some joy.

MissA's avatar


Grandma always told me that my eyes were too close to my kidneys,,,that’s why I cried.

Perhaps your eyes are too close to your….

Seriously, be nice to yourself…sometimes it’s
good not to look too deeply.

janbb's avatar

All I can offer is a hug.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Hasn’t happened to me before since I’ve haven’t had sex yet. But maybe you were concentrating on something sad while being in the middle of it. And you said it hurt so maybe that adds onto the damage. But I can’t say much, all I can do is wish you luck on you answers that you need, and same what @janbb said, wanna hug? I’m hug able!

filmfann's avatar

In my late teens and early 20’s, it was not unusual for me to vomit after sex, due to feelings of shame and regret. Ya, I’m a party person…
It stopped when the depth of my feelings ebbed. I do now miss the intenseness of it.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

I honestly don’t know anything.
But I am sorry for all the bad/rough times you are having. Hope this week will be better. Give yourself some quality time and do whatever you enjoy doing. For example: I like shopping and chocolate so if that’s something we have in common you could go shopping or just window shopping and later in the night you could watch a comedy film or some of a sort to cheer you up.
Hope that helped somehow and hope you find out what caused your crying.
HUGS the computer screen^^

Joybird's avatar

The only time I have cried during sex was on several occasions with the same partner when I realized that I didn’t want to be with them sexually any longer and that submitting was an act incongruent with what I wanted in my life which was to be out of that relationship altogether. Sex in that relationship was on an act of servitude, not an act of love, sharing or connection.
If sex is painful enough to bring on tears that you recognize as being related to other issues in your life at this time then it is important to act with integrity to yourself…no one else. Work through the issues on hand with trusted friends, family members or a counselor. And then set some goals to set your world right.
It is a very rare instance where sex is so pleasurable that someone is bout to tears. And if sex is bringing up painful emotions for you, not to mention real physical pain than it’s time to get outside assistance.

psychocandy2's avatar

Maybe you just needed a good cry. Sex brings up so many emotions. Maybe you were able to let down your guard and the tears came flooding out. It’s never happened to me, but it doesn’t seem abnormal in any way. Did you feel better or worse after you cried.

perspicacious's avatar

Do you really think we could possibly answer this for you. The answer is within you, find it.

Jude's avatar

@perspicacious I asked others to share their experiences. If you don’t want to help, piss off.

perspicacious's avatar

@mama_cakes No you didn’t. You asked us why you cried. Say what you mean—we don’t read minds nor do we know why the hell you cry during sex.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Of course, it’s perfectly normal.

MissA's avatar

Is make-up sex allowed on fluther?

Jude's avatar

Thanks, everyone.

@perspicacious Thanks for a being a douchebag.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@mama_cakes Your recent posts have been loaded with a lot of emotions, so I’m not surprised they boiled over. Be honest with your s/o about whats going on and communicate with her. You’ve mentioned pulling away from her several times in different threads. I’ve never cried during sex myself. I have been through some rough patches and not always able to see where I should be going at the time. I got through it and got back on track. But it might have been easier if I reached out more, so maybe you should seek out some help? Just a thought.

Jude's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I have my second therapy appointment tonight. I’ll discuss this with her then.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@mama_cakes Good, I’m glad to see that.

Xilas's avatar

wowie, women are very special. I guess PMS can make your emotions run wild? even sometimes uncontrollably

what were you thinking during the cry?

susanc's avatar

I used to cry during sex because I was grateful.

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