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Deja_vu's avatar

Do you think 13 is a little young to be a jelly?

Asked by Deja_vu (4152 points ) October 26th, 2010

Fluther is a very respectable site. That’s what I love about it, but Sometimes I think the topics are too mature for young grommets. I noticed sometimes they’ll ask about sex and stuff. Personally that’s a topic I don’t think they should be asking a bunch of strangers online (no offense fellow jellies). I also would like to feel free to ask NSFW questions. Because of the kids I feel uncomfortable doing so.
What’s your opinion?
Do you think 13 is a little young to be a jelly?
Or do you think Fluther is a haven enough with the Mods working so hard. It is a fantastic site.

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34 Answers

perspicacious's avatar

I don’t think anyone younger than about 16 years old should be allowed on here. It’s an adult subject site and no place for children. Kids ask a lot of the sex questions and I think a lot of the answers to those questions are very inappropriate for children.

DominicX's avatar

Meh. Most sites either require you to be either 13 or older or 18 or older (usually the latter is only if it’s a porn site). I don’t think there’s anything wrong with 13-year-olds being on here. I’ve been coming to Q&A sites since I was 14 (a couple months away from turning 15). This site doesn’t allow porn or insults or anything of that nature. It’s a lot more tame than a ton of other sites kids could be on. Some of them probably find this site very helpful and I wouldn’t want to bar them from it.

I know Flutherites don’t like hearing about wis.dm, but wis.dm had a special “NSFW” section that was for people 18 and over. Sex questions were required to be posted there and a person could easily avoid the section if they wanted to. Don’t see why we couldn’t have something similar here…

Whitsoxdude's avatar

I’d like to be able to use this site thanks.
It bugs me that people would jump to barring kids completely, rather than adding an adults only section.

truecomedian's avatar

I asked this question before in the Meta section. Or a question similar. I think it’s cool having young adults on here, they give some good insight, they have a different perspective than us older folk. I say speak your mind, the are mostly all quite mature. Ask what you want it’s all anonymous.

YARNLADY's avatar

I doubt there is anything here that they don’t already know or can’t readily find somewhere else.

Deja_vu's avatar

There should be an adults only section.

Deja_vu's avatar

I see it as more out of respect for the younger ones.
@YARNLADY maybe I’m just old fashioned.

poisonedantidote's avatar

13 is fine in my book, I would bet some 13 year olds can tell you things about sex that some adults are not old enough to hear. Obviously it depends on the person, some 13’s can be more mature than others.

I have been online since the internet first existed. When I was 13 years old I used to go in to BDSM chat rooms to play pranks on some of the horny creeps you find in there, and all kinds of other things.

Also, 13 year olds will have valuable information to share on many topics, for example video games. You can be as good as you like at video games, but facts are facts, a 13 year old will kick your ass at any game 99% of the time. They can also give you valuable insight on things such as new trends, new slang words, and keep older people in touch with what it’s like to be that age. In my opinion, if we are going to talk about how being bullied in school can lead to suicide and other such topics, it is vital to have some members who are them selves still in school, and still in that enviroment of school politics.

My parents where once 13, but by the time I was 13 they where totally out of touch with what its like to be that age. even though you remember what it was like as you get older, there is still a lot that you forget. At age 27 I still remember what it was like to be 13 quite well, but I would be willing to bet there is a lot that I have forgot about.

I don’t have kids of my own yet, but if I did, I would much rather they spend time on fluther than many other sites.

Also, going on my own experience, I am more or less identical at age 27 to how I was at age 13, the only change is that I have a larger vocabulary and can put my point across better. I still have a healthy dislike for authority, I still enjoy many of the things I used to enjoy as a teen, and when I see a question about teenagers, even though I am 27, there is still a part of me that tells me “they are talking about you”. Perhaps, because deep down im still the same person as I used to be, and still feel the same about many topics.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I actually recently asked about the legal aspect of discussing NSFW questions with children on Fluther. I don’t think that they shouldn’t be here, I think we are lucky to have a reasonably mature group all around the community. However, I agree that the NSFW makes me a tiny bit uncomfortable. I can understand at that age you want answers to questions that you most likely can’t go to your parents with, but I just can’t decide how I feel about them being privy to the adult discussions here.
Anyhow, overall, I don’t think you should have to be older than 13 to use fluther.

Pandora's avatar

I think there is room for them, but there should be a part that is adults only over 16 years of age.
I will say that I do see a lot of responsible adults on here that know when a youngster is aboard and when certain subjects should take a rated G direction. Or the kid is told candidly that it is something they should discuss with mom and dad and not a bunch of strangers.

josie's avatar

It’s either their parents, the “schoolyard” or online.
If they have good communications with parents, they may not go elsewhere.
If it is the schoolyard, it will be mostly bullshit anyway so what is the difference.
If it is here, they may actually here something constructive, in addition to the bullshit.
It is still a parental issue as to what a child does with a computer. If they find the task to be impossible, then it is.

downtide's avatar

I think it’s fine as it is. Fluther is a great place for mature, intelligent teens. The immature ones are on Yahoo Answers, they wouldn’t be interested in Fluther.

I do think there should be a way to make it clear whether another user is under 18 though, and I think an adults-only section is a good idea.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@downtide I have often thought that I would like to have an age displayed by our username or avatar. I know that Fluther is excellent about privacy and anonymity, so it would most likely never happen. I just have always thought it would be a nice addition. Gives you a sense of who you’re talking to, especially in NSFW questions.

Deja_vu's avatar

@truecomedian I think it’s cool having young adults on here, they give some good insight, they have a different perspective than us older folk. Yeah totally, that’s fine. I’m talking about subjects like sex and what not. Everything else I have no problem with. I don’t want a kid’s perspective of NSFW questions.

Seaofclouds's avatar

If a 13-year-old has no one else to talk to about sex, I’d rather them get real answers from us here on Fluther than on some of the other question and answer sites. I think it’s sad that some people would rather shut them out of those questions than help them. Besides that, people can (and do) lie about their age to get into 18+ websites all the time. That isn’t really much of a protection from having minors see topics about sex.

Honestly, if you are worried about the age of the person reading your answers and questions, why post them on a public site where anyone and everyone could see them? I’m sure we have a lot of lurkers and you could be posting for someone far worse than a curious or lost 13-year-old.

xxii's avatar

Why wouldn’t a 13 year-old just register with a false birthday in order to access the adults only section? That’s what 13 year-old me would do.

janbb's avatar

How can it be monitored? We might have 6 year olds on here for all we know. You don’t need a Secret Decoder Ring to be on the site. I understand the concern and feel the site is often a great place for kids to get info and advice, but some of the more “technical” sex discussions might be a bit much. However, it is more the job of concerned parents or uncomfortable kids to monitor this than the site itself.

Cruiser's avatar

I really can’t see a 13 yr old being interested in even the NSFW dialogues I have seen. Kids today are used to the salacious antics on places like Face Book and Youtube IMO they would be quickly bored with what goes on here.

tranquilsea's avatar

I have teenage children and I wouldn’t have a problem with them joining this site. Especially because I have seen just how most of the members treat kids this age.

The NSFW questions shocked me when I first joined. But after getting beyond the shock I saw that people, for the most part, treated the questions respectfully and honestly. You can’t ask for more than that.

I’m of the mind that I want my kids to have the right information when it comes to sex. They usually come to me (thank god) but if they didn’t feel like they could then this site would be my second choice.

truecomedian's avatar

I like having kids on here, because I’m a total pervert, kidding, kidding. But there out there…

AmWiser's avatar

I don’t think 13 year olds should be on here, I guess I’m just old fashion.

Trillian's avatar

As a research associate I survey kids regarding internet safety, and we look at risk behaviours. I can tell you that their parents are generally unaware of their online antics and do not want them participating in conversations about sex with online adult strangers. You would be surprised at how many kids have posted personal information like their real name, school name, address and age in the internet in the past 12 months. Or how many have have online “romantic” relationships with people they met online but not in real life. Some of the behaviours that I’ve seen here are what we call “risk factors” that increase their risk of something negative happen to them stemming from online activity.
I get a bit uneasy with some of the Q’s posted by the children on this site and generally stay the hell away.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Let’s not forget that we could have 9 yr olds on here who falsified their birth date. Kids do lie to get what they want, you know. Having said that, I don’t really see a problem with them being here, BUT I think it’s a very good idea to have a separate section for more mature questions. Granted, they could still lie about their age, but it would be totally on them and their parents if they lied to gain access to the adult section.

And at least this site is pretty open and honest about the reality of sexual matters, instead of being flooded with people talking about things like “This one time, a bus full of teenage cheerleaders showed up at my house and OMG I didn’t know the body could bend like that!”

truecomedian's avatar

I dont think Fluther is what all the kids want to do, I mean, it’s so festidious. The amount of kiddie’s on this site is probably quite small. What do you think, I think nothing gets too racey to really raise a fuss. But it does make sense to make it 18 and over. That way if any kids are harmed it would be a matter of liability. It is also a little odd that it is 13 and up.

wundayatta's avatar

Different people hold different standards. Some people teach their kids from an early age (5) about sex. At that point it’s good touch and bad touch, but that’s the beginning. Many thirteen year olds know an awful lot about sex. Maybe even more than their parents. A lot of kids are unwilling to talk about certain subjects around their parents because they don’t want to hurt their parents, and don’t want to prick their parents’ illusions about what they do and don’t know.

Information is information, no matter where it comes from. As far as the crap on the internet goes, I don’t think fluther is a major contributor. Information wants to be free. Censorship is never good. I think that if people are disturbed by it, they shouldn’t put anything sexual up here, but they also shouldn’t stop others from having frank conversations.

Even if we did want to do some censorship here, there is no way to enforce the age limit. People give their ages voluntarily, or not at all. All they have to do is say they are older than 13. How is the website going to find out? I don’t think this policy is advisable, and even if it were advisable, it is completely unenforceable.

perspicacious's avatar

@truecomedian Sure, young adults. That’s 18 to 26 year olds.

Symbeline's avatar

I think it’s fine. There’s worse places online they could end up in than here. Hell, y’ever seen video game or anime forums aimed at a young audience? There’s worse in there than you’ll ever see on here.

And at least of Fluther they can learn things.

truecomedian's avatar

Let this topic never be brought up again, 13 is the age of acceptance, so be it. It’s not like it’s not the same people on here over and over again anyway, I’m sure the teenagers are used to us by now. It’s nice to see new people on here, but I regret anyone tryinig to maintain the status quo, who has something so “adult” to say that a 13 year old would be harmed.

augustlan's avatar

I invited both of my oldest children to the site when they were mature enough (shortly after turning 13). so I guess you could say I’m fine with it. :)

My youngest will be 13 in December, and will probably join us soon after.

truecomedian's avatar

Fluther is like masturbation, it’s a lot of work that yields nothing.

Kraigmo's avatar

I remember being 13 and hating it when people tried to protect me from thoughts or discussions. I didn’t need the protection. I thought and knew so then, and I think and know so, now.

Let all people who can intelligently communicate, no matter who they are, join and participate.

JilltheTooth's avatar

@augustlan : Can’t wait to meet her!

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

(this seems like an old topic but I’ll state my opinion since after all I am 13 right now) But I say it all depends on the 13 year old or person. I wouldn’t mind it since maybe haven’t notice but there are a lot of kids my age out there with out a dad or mom or maybe both that can’t really talk to anyone. And for my own opinion this is a good site to ask good questions on especially for my age group….But over all I’ve been examining the kids my age, and they all are VERY IMMATURE! At least most are in what I’ve been seeing lately. So I say yes in a way but no in another. SO….Hopefully this is sorta a view for some others. There’s always a good and bad side to these type of questions ya know :)

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