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lucillelucillelucille's avatar

How can I commemorate the death of a loved one?

Asked by lucillelucillelucille (27388 points ) October 31st, 2010

I don’t think it needs details.

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21 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

Strictly personal choice.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@YARNLADY -Yep,it is.I suppose I was just looking for different ways,is all.

Cruiser's avatar

Celebrate all the other days of their life. Their death was only one day out of many that they lived.

MRSHINYSHOES's avatar

Do you love nature? How about planting a tree to remember your loved one? Caring for it over the years as it grows, you will be rewarded with a “living memory” of that person. The tree will not only give permanence to his/her life, but beautify your surroundings as well. To me, it’s a very spiritual thing.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@MRSHINYSHOES -I do love nature.Very much so and I think your suggestion is perfect.In fact,I know the perfect spot to plant it.Thank you so much! <<HUGS>>

lillycoyote's avatar

What I have done in the past to memorialize and commemorate the death of a loved one; for my mother, my father and my two favorite uncles, was to plant something for them, somewhere. Somewhere where you can plant something and it won’t be disturbed, at least not for a good long time. Something that reminds me of them, and for me it has always been a bulb or perennial of some sort, something that comes back every year. Something that lives on. That is what I like to do, among other things, but it is personal. I prefer that to merely commemorating important dates like the anniversary of the death, or birthdays or holidays, though I do that to, but my focus on that kind of thing diminishes over the years. But the day lilies and the roses and the tulips and the daffodils and the azaleas keep blooming, year after year, even if I have forgotten to remember or note a particular or meaningful date. And they are a reminder of life, not just a reminder of death. But, as someone already said, it is a personal thing. That’s just what I do.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@lillycoyote -I like that idea very much.:)

GeorgeGee's avatar

I’m fond of setting aside a moment for a loved one and lighting a candle. In the privacy of your own home, go ahead and talk to them. Grandpa, you were a heck of a guy. I miss you. :D
Tell them what you’ve been up to, whom you’d like them to meet, don’t be afraid to ask for their approval.

FutureMemory's avatar

When my father dies he wants me to wear his ashes around my neck. I told him that’s a little much, but that I will have them mixed in with tattoo ink if my tattoo artist agrees.

lillycoyote's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille Planting something in memory of someone you loved, something that comes back and blooms every year has always seemed like a way to find a healthy balance between remembering, honoring and memorializing a death and honoring and appreciating life.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Plant a tree in their honor.
If you have the money set up a small scholarship in their name.
Donate something in their name.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Simply keep him/her in your heart and in your memories. Write a poem or as our friend above said plant a tree or even a rose bush.

JilltheTooth's avatar

After my Dad passed I took his two favorite coffee mugs and I have my morning Joe in them almost every day. It gives me something to focus on when I chat with him…very comforting.
I also planted a rose bush that I can enjoy every year when it blooms.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Nice answers guys. L, you love nature and you love art. Combine the two, like the tree idea with a small personal plaque to remind you of them, with a small bench to encourage you to set and think of your loved one. Your own personal retreat where you can be with them for a little. I’ll be thinking of you.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe -That is a great idea as well.I could actually make a bench.I have some oak and mahogany from a previous project that would be perfect.Thanks,A :)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Which day, I liked to do a little something?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@lucillelucillelucille I have one last tree to get in the ground this year before the ground freezes. If the day is close I’d like to do it on that day, if that’s ok with you.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe-Thank you.You are very considerate.

Gauge's avatar

Pick a place that is most special 2 the both of you and celebrate their life at that area from time to time, and add in loving memory of: on the back of your car.

Raevarin's avatar

Well given my experience in the Marine Corps, what we do to commemorate someone who retires can apply to the death of someone as well. You can create a shadow box and inside place things that meant something to them or their achievements in life, or where they have been. Add pictures, mementos or anything that represents them. Hope this helps out a little.

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