General Question

Rayvin14's avatar

How could I become more attractive?

Asked by Rayvin14 (351 points ) November 5th, 2010

I am 15, and a sophomore in highschool. I wear make up, and do my hair, but guys have really never been interested. As concieted as this sounds, I feel like i’m prettier than some girls who have boyfriends. I have alot of guy friends, and everybody says that you need to be friends first, but we have been friends. I’m not the kind of girl that will tell them my feelings, because that makes people feel weird. What can I do to change their minds?

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50 Answers

Ivan's avatar

Stop caring. Seriously.

Response moderated (Obscene)
Rayvin14's avatar

@Ivan that doesn’t help.

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mrentropy's avatar

I hate to sound like an old fuddy-duddy, but I think @Ivan is right. You’re fifteen and don’t want to share your feelings. Which is fine, because very few 15 year old boys want to hear it. But there’s plenty of time to get a boyfriend.

But, then, I’m a guy. I know what I wanted when I was 15 and it wasn’t a relationship.

KhiaKarma's avatar

Get involved in things that interest you. Interested people are interesting. A life outside of wondering what others think of you makes you way more attractive…at least if you want to attract well-rounded people.

Rayvin14's avatar

@mrentropy I guess you are right, and I guess @Ivan is right too, you just made it sound better. Which sucks, because i’m not that kind of person.

HungryGuy's avatar

Don’t try so hard. Really. You don’t like guys who are hard up, desperate, and insecure, right? Guys are the same way…

Vortico's avatar

I’m definitely not a huge relationship expert, but I know that a better personality and more self-confidence (in a positive way) can help. I’m not a big help on the appearance question though.

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Plucky's avatar

As much as you think @Ivan‘s advise doesn’t help ..it really is as simple as that. And…be patient. Do things you enjoy; you have plenty of time to meet someone. It will happen when it happens; don’t try to force it.

It really isn’t as bad as it seems at the moment :)

And, @CaliBuddz ..that is so not cool.

mrentropy's avatar

@Rayvin14 Good on you for not being that kind of person! And listen to everyone else, too, because they know more than I do. I’m really just @Ivan‘s interpretor.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Exercise, eat right, don’t smoke, smile often. Be confident and comfortable in your own skin. Be yourself. Stop thinking so much about it. When you are relaxed and just being you, that is when the attention will shift. And frankly, don’t you want a guy that likes the real you, and not a facade of what you’re trying to be to attract him?

Sounds cliche, but it’s true. @Ivan is pretty much dead on.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
judochop's avatar

well you are 15 so I guess I can see why this is so important to you however there are a few approaches to the subject.
1. Stop caring so much. This is the best method. Your job right now is to study and do well. Keep your face and hands clean and make your bed in the morning. Life is so simple at its most confusing age.
2. Try getting involved in more school activities. I see it suggested above and it is a grand idea. Involvement will put you face to face in more intimate situations than just class.
3. How talkative are you? How do you carry yourself now?
4. Clothing…..Do you have style? More importantly, do you have your own style or do you copy what is around you?
5. I hope you really just consider the first one the most.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Do you want a bf primarily to make out with or do you want a bf who will go places with you and share school stuff like dances, parties (kinda school stuff), sport events? If you want more of the later with the possibility of the first then let some of your guy friends know you’ve been pondering what it’s like to have a bf. After you’ve said your bit then drop it because the guys will talk it around and if they’re your friends then they’ll try to run interference to keep the creeps away.

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Rayvin14's avatar

@judochop I am chunkier. Which puts me at a disadvantage with high school guys. I am on the varsity powerlifting team, I squat 430 lbs. more than most guys at my school. Which also puts me at a disadvantage. I’m very talkative, and most people find me funny. But I will consider the first one.

chyna's avatar

@CaliBuddz Why be ugly? No sense in that.
@Rayvin14 You are a cute girl. Just be yourself. At 15 boys are important, but not that important. Develop your personaliity, find the things you are interested in and you will be fine.

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Rayvin14's avatar

@chyna I know they really aren’t that important, but It just sucks, seeing everybody else, and knowing that I’ve never had a boyfriend, but I guess I’ll just have to deal.

judochop's avatar

@Rayvin14 darlin….You already know the answer to the question you are asking. If not, I guess I will be the one to throw it out there in fewest words possible.
First, I think it is amazing and great that you are on the varsity powerlifting team! WOW! Super cool however, when you can kick most of the guys asses at your school you are at a disadvantage for meeting most men. Not all men, just most men. Just keep what you are doing. Try not to let it get you down. Except the fact that you are totally rocking it in a different direction at the moment. Keep your head up.

Blueroses's avatar

It is hard to watch your peers pairing up but attraction is unpredictable and it will happen when the timing/person is right. You could set the bait out for everyone but ask any girl who does that if she’s really happy with the results.
I always found the most attractive people were those who shared my interests and passions. When you really care about something it shines through.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

If you’re in any type of sport through school then you’re going to be intimidating to most guys who aren’t in sports at school. That you’re a power lifter and can bench more than most of the guys is really intimidating to most but fascinating to some, keep an eye open and pay attention to the guys who seem comfortable and interested in your sport. not the teacher though.

Rayvin14's avatar

@judochop Thanks alot. I’m just gonna keep working hard, and stop worrying about guys.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Rayvin14 “never had a boyfriend” at 15 is not really all that horrible, you know. You’re still a very young lady, no need to rush things. Your worth has absolutely zilch to do with what some random highschool boy thinks of you. I know it doesn’t feel that way, sometimes, but trust me on that one. It isn’t as crucial as you think. These things happen naturally.. you can’t force it.

Rayvin14's avatar

@Neizvestnaya Thanks! and DEFINATELY not the teacher!

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think you’re plenty attractive (in a totally platonic way, btw)..you just don’t see it. If you want to feel more attractive, I say do fun exersize and you’ll feel strong in your body and sexy.

YARNLADY's avatar

Attractive isn’t about looks. It’s about being fun to be with at any age. I’ve know girls who could win a beauty contest, but they aren’t attractive because no one enjoys their company.

Be a good listener, be helpful and enjoy yourself, and you will be attractive.

flo's avatar

Don’t pursue having a boyfriend just because other girls do. Let it happen naturally.

faye's avatar

What everyone above said! I am totally impressed with your power lifting! In high school some boys’ thinking is testosterone fueled. Right now there are boys who are too shy to say anything to you.

Fairylover78's avatar

Well, I think everyone above me summed it up, but I’ll throw my 2 cents in anyway! Speaking as someone who once was a 15 Year old girl, who had mostly guy friends and never got asked out…I was ( and still am) only 4 foot 6 and Not a girlie girlie so guys (even my buds) never really looked at me twice… it made me wonder why I wasn’t good enough ect. and blah blah blah… oneday i woke up and said to myself ” Forget them, I like who I am and if they can’t see me for the great person I am then they don’t deserve me” of course I was 15 and didn’t really feel that confident in myself, but by getting it out there, I really learned to love myself and really believe that I was a great person inside and out…although it took a little while, wouldn’t you know it once I was comfortable with being me and being “with” me, not only did I get asked out by a couple guys I didn’t even know were there, but a couple of my guys friends decided they were crazy about me….of course by then I didn’t care and didn’t want a boyfriend, I just wanted to be me and in time it all worked out, I dated when I felt like it and met the love of my life at 18 and have been married to him for 14 years.
So now you know some of my personal story and NO 2 people are alike, but the real point I was getting at is that you have to love you first and foremost, feel comfortable in your own skin and just be yourself. I know you are probably reading this and thinking to yourself ” But I do love who I am” but you are obviously feeling unsatisfied and impatient. You are young and still have alot of getting to know yourself to do, once you do then you can really shine through. You are Beautiful and deserve to be happy, start by making yourself happy. I wish you the best and when you least expect it love will find you when your ready for it.
Sorry this is so long, I’m more of a listener than a talker usually but my fingers are babbling on!

Rayvin14's avatar

@faye haha, thanks. I kind of get embarrassed by it some times!

Rayvin14's avatar

@Fairylover78 Thanks alot, that makes alot of sense. I feel like I do love who I am, but you are right, I do still have insecurities.

wilma's avatar

Such good advice here!
@Rayvin14 You are a pretty gal with some talent and a brain to back that up.
Relax, don’t worry, it will happen. Try to enjoy what you have now and good luck with the power lifting!

BarnacleBill's avatar

The right boy has not crossed your path yet. He will. Be patient, and be true to yourself.

Rarebear's avatar

Holy crap, you squat 430 pounds? And you’re a 15 year old girl? That’s amazing. Don’t change yourself at all for anybody else. People will either accept you the way you are or they won’t. Not. Your. Problem.

rooeytoo's avatar

I think you are great the way you are. And at your age, if you were my kid, I would want you to run with a crowd of other kids your age, not one boy. Be the instigator, get a bunch together to go to a skating rink or go kart track or bowling, anything that a gang can do and interact and have fun. Be creative, my ideas are a little dated, I am sure there are many other things you can think of. Maybe you won’t get the “in crowd” to join in immediately but if you keep it up, and word gets around how much fun everyone has on these outings, they will join in no time. Just have fun and it’s contagious and it will prepare you for a relationship later in your life.

thekoukoureport's avatar

I will offer you the same advice that has worked greatly for my 2 children. Find your sexy. It’s not a look but an attitude that you are confident in who you are. Once you are there @Ivan is right, except you won’t have to try hard to not care. This is your world, make your story as wonderful as you can. Cause if you let others write your story, you wont be happy with the ending.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and as long as you see it in your eye everyone around you will see it as well.

deni's avatar

trying too hard is unattractive. so thats a start. also looks aren’t the most important thing.

and 15 is very young. i look back on the “relationships” i had before i was that age and am utterly embarrassed. they were stupid. i didn’t like the boys, i just wanted a boyfriend, so if a boy asked me out i said yes. and then it was awkward and dumb and there was a million things i’d rather be doing instead of talking to them or trying to avoid them kissing me. ew. seriously im envisioning my first kiss at age 13 right now and i about vomited. letting things progress naturally is always better than trying to force something that doesn’t exist.

Rayvin14's avatar

@Rarebear haha, yeah I do. lol! And I’m not going too!

dealrrr's avatar

just pick a guy, any guy and talk to him everyday. the world has changed, try to keep up mmmkay.

Blueroses's avatar

I actually agree with @dealrrr . If it’s a one-guy situation… talk, talk, smile… it’s like taming a Grizzly. always keep bear-spray handy (and at room temp)
sorry, lost my serious. Just saw a doc about watching bears in Yellowstone and the guy said “keep your bear spray at room temp”. I laughed! Worked as a ranger and could totally picture the bear cubs… “did you bring us anything, daddy?” “Yep but you have to have 2 bites of scientist before you get the pepper popsicle.”

Julietxx3's avatar

@Rayvin14 , i read some of these responses, and honestly they are NOT answering your question. I am 14, and very self-conscious. I use some of these things to make me look prettier, but honestly, i learned that you also have to love you for you.. I try to eat healthy, not only does it make you look good on the outside, but it keeps you healthy on the outside. I wear makeup, BUT NOT TOO MUCH ! that just makes you look like a slut (no offense) also healthy, zit-free skin is really attractive! wear clothes that you like, and look good on you. but i hope you are not trying to look good for other people, but more for yourself. i do this once and a while, i look at my self in the mirror, and point out all the good things about me, and try to ignore the the bad. and having a great personality is really great too ! ( :

Julietxx3's avatar

oh and don’t worry about not having a boyf. I’ve had a few and honestly, WASTE OF MY TIME. I’m not saying never get one, but I am saying to wait for the right one, rushing into things like I did gets you with guys that only want one thing. I had to get myself out of a few sticky situations and it was not fun…

soonerfan255's avatar

The best thing you can do for your outward appearance is to be physically fit. It is normal for people to want to be with someone who is fit because our brains are programmed to be attracted to someone who is healthy.

plethora's avatar

Be genuine. If you like a guy, then take an interest in him. That is focus on his likes and dislikes…..and then, if it’s true, compliment him and build him up and tell him that you adore him and respect him. That you are so impressed with his abilities and strengths and name them. Tell him regularly that you respect him and even adore him. Never say you love him and never seek to go out with him. If that doesnt get the guy, then you’re not gonna get him. Go on to someone else.

Note, this is good in all human relations. But men will respond to words of respect and adoration if there is any interest at all.

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