(NSFW) Would you consider forming a long-term relationship with someone who is bi?

Bi-polar or bi-sexual?

I kinda have a friends with benefits relationship with a couple and well, its been going on for around 4 years now so I guess I would. And it seems that out of mutual respect that we be pretty honest with each other, though that’s mainly for health reasons.

Not if they would not agree to be faithful during the course of our relationship.

First of all, if you get involved with someone, and I don’t care what their sexual orientation is, the most common expectation is monogamy. Those who are interested in open relationships are, I would guess, a fairly small minority. Polyamory is not for everyone, and jealousy is a difficult issue to deal with.

If I were doing this, I don’t think I would be as worried about multiple relationships as I was when I was younger. I might welcome a more open relationship now. Then again, I might freak out. Hard to say without getting involved in one, and that won’t be happening in my marriage.

I’m not sure “society” can do any exploring—it’s made up of individuals who explore. But I believe in freedom, and think people should not have to be in monogamous relationships if they aren’t comfortable in them. However, I understand the pressure people feel to look acceptable, and I believe “society” creates enormous social pressure to believe that monogamy is the only way to go.

As for me, I’m open to exploration, although I don’t expect to ever do so. I’m not interesting in dissolving my marriage in order to explore.

Just because someone is bisexual it does not make them promiscuous or unable to commit to one person. I am bi and have been happily married for 9 years. I feel no need to sleep with anyone else, of any sex.

So when I’m in a relationship, I’m monogamous. Meaning one person, not one man and one woman. I expect the same out of the other person.

Your questions are really surprising me today.
Of course I’d consider a long term relationship with someone who’s bi. To assume that a bi person would inevitably need to ‘stray’ or need to ‘explore their sexuality’ is ludicrous. Their sexuality is no different from that of a straight or a gay person and if you expect monogamy from people, you can expect that of bi people…if you want an open relationship, bi people are no more likely to give it to you. All that bisexuality means is that a person may have a bigger pool of people to choose from, that is they’re open to more than one sex and or gender as being the source of their partner but bi people are just like everyone else in terms of relationships, fidelity or whatever else.

Bisexual people are no less likely to be monogamous than straight or gay people. Faithfulness is not a factor of sexual orientation and bisexual people do not automatically want to have affairs with everyone they meet.

That actually sounds great.

I would have no problem with forming a long-term relationship with anyone, provided that they would be faithful to me.

Fidelity has nothing at all to do with sexuality.
Some people prefer to be monogamous, some prefer to be polyamorous. Some of them are gay, some are bi, some are straight.
Some people prefer chocolate ice cream, some prefer vanilla. Some of them are gay, some are bi, some are straight.

Removed by me- unnecessarily pedantic.

Of course that would sound great. You want to get your cake and eat it too. I want someone who wants me and only me.

I’m bi, and i’m in a relationship with a guy right now. You might know him. I think it really depends on what both ppl want in the relationship. In the past, I was only interested in having open-relationships, but Cameron isn’t into that; normally I wouldn’t date someone with those preferences, but I’m so into him that I’m very willing to change my dating style for him. :)

we’re pretty happy right now, and the perk to dating a bi-sexual is that you can both drool over the same guys/girls and then joke about it

@Ponderer983 Huh? What would sound great? How would you not get someone who wants you and only you? I’m just so confused by your comment.

Of course I would. Whether or not I would consider an open relationship actually has nothing to do with the sexual orientation of my hypothetical partner. I might consider it regardless of their orientation.

@augustlan I had intended not to offer any value judgments on any answers to this question. I was asking for people’s inner feelings and I have no right to argue with any answer they give from their heart. But I have to say I love your openness to possibilities.

The entire idea of bisexuals “needing” to explore but heterosexuals not needing to explore seems like such crap to me.

I’ve never been in the situation but I’ve long held the belief that it wouldn’t bother me if a woman I was involved with was involved with another woman. I suppose if it ever happened it might change things around, but it’s not a thought I’m uncomfortable with.

@mrentropy From my experience, if you would get jealous if she was with another man, you’ll get jealous if she’s with another woman. The phase where you think it’s the greatest thing in the world that she’s into chicks and you can watch them anytime is over pretty quickly, especially if it turns out you can’t watch.

@papayalily That’s not how I see it. With another man? Sure, I’d get jealous and have problems with it. With another woman? I don’t know. It’s nothing to do with the titillation portion, it has to do with me thinking that men and women are very different so it wouldn’t be a direct comparison. I’m not really sure how to explain this part…

If I was with a woman who decided to have sex with another man then there are all kinds of feelings of inadequacy. “How did I fail as a man?”

As it stands right now, I’ve never been with a woman who decided to have sex with another woman so I’m just going by how I feel right now (and, actually, for many years), but the feeling I get is that… it’s a woman. We’re not really ‘competing’ for the same thing, genetically speaking. I’m not even sure that’s a precise explanation but for 6:30am that’s probably the best I can come up with right now.

No, but not because of some extra potential of cheating. I don’t really worry about cheating much.

@mrentropy Often, men become insecure, worrying that another woman can give your gal something you can’t. They feel that they’ve failed so much as men that she couldn’t just go to another man, she had to switch teams. All of this isn’t necessarily evolved or enlightened so much as part of the process, but there it is. My favorite part is when the man freaks out, and thinking that if the other woman just disappears, it will fix everything in the relationship, chases the other woman down with a bat trying to bash her head in…
This is why I won’t date a woman who’s also seeing a man.

@papayalily Well, there you go. I feel opposite of that. I can’t fail at something I can’t compete with. Women are different than men so it makes sense to me that a woman could get something from a woman that she couldn’t with a man.

Bisexuals are as able to commit to a monogamous relationship as anyone. The problem is, however, that someone in a relationship with a bisexual is less able to pretend that the person will be monogamous.

The amount of people who cheat, have cheated, and will cheat in a relationship is staggering. There really is no such thing as “till death to us part” any more (well, that’s slightly pessimistic).

However, knowing that you can’t offer the person certain sexual things that they gave up to give you undermines the delusion that you’ll only be with that person sexually from then on.

@iamthemob I don’t see how the staggering rate of cheating relates to people’s sexuality, though. I have identified as bi in the past and I can tell you that, to me at least, what people could offer sexually had little to do with what was between their legs. If a person couldn’t satisfy me sexually, I wouldn’t be with them…I wouldn’t be any more likely to cheat.

I agree with @iamthemob.

Straight ppl are just as likely to cheat, being bi doesn’t mean you’re more likely too just because you’re technically attracted to more ppl.

My straight friends obsess over 10 times the amount of ppl I do.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir – it doesn’t. What I’m saying is that a person’s ability to be monogamous is based on the person, not the sexual preference. Therefore, a general reaction against being in a long-term relationship with bisexuality is related more to the recognition that there is something that you can’t offer them sexually. However, this is true for everyone – no one can offer anyone sexual variety of partners in a monogamous relationship. I’m not saying that cheating relates to sexuality – I’m saying that the fact that many people cheat demonstrate that partner variety is a desire held by most everyone, and that bisexuality simply makes the fact clear, where the limitation of looking at one sex or another allows people to delude themselves that they are the ultimate sexual object for the other, and that they can fulfill them completely.

Probably not. But some men and women might think about the prospect of threesomes.

I’m bi and was in a long term(9 years) relationship with someone and we were very monogamous and there were never any threesomes, not for the lack of trying.

There shouldn’t be a problem having a long term relationship with someone who is bi sexual. This is more due to the stereotype that you have to be on alert with both men and women around that person. This is an unfair stigma, you should be more worried about whether or not the person is faithful in general. A person’s sexual orientation does not dictate how faithful they are.

If my current partner was bi, I wouldn’t care. If he wanted a threesome with a same sex partner I wouldn’t refuse. If he was sneaking around on me I’d have a problem.

@Ajulutsikael I take your point. With a heterosexual partner, you still have roughly 3.5 billion potential competitors to worry about. It all boils down to being abole to trust your SO.

I have never been in a longterm relationship with someone who was bi. I myself am bi,I was married to a man for 9 years (he was hetrosexual) which didnt work out due to abuse,however I was faithful,wether it be another man or woman. We did have threesomes,because that was a fantasy of his,an of course I had no problem with us all together ( one girl,only,she was a very close friend of mine ) I never once cheated on him,he cheated on me with many woman,which ended in divorce. Then married to a wondeful older man for 15 years,again I was faithful to him an he to me. An again being like most men’s fantasy we did have one threesome with a good friend of mine.But again it was his idea,and I had no problem with either of my husbands being with another woman or a man if they had been biselual, if we were all together an he wasnt running around on me behind my back. We divorced ( not a bad marriage or divorce just grew apart due mainly to big age difference) Now inbetween i did date both men and women but no longterm relationships. I am going to be married again to another man ( I seem to lean more to men when it comes to marriage,dont know why it’s just my preferance) who I am planning on this marriage to last. He knows I am bi,but he isnt one who wants a threesome,and neither of us want an open relationship,which is just fine with me,when I am commited to someone it has nothing to do with what is between their legs,its whom i love. I like both women an men but lean more to men as for longterm relationships such as marriage. I have had one or two relationships with women that lasted a year or less but I was also faithful to them,they were the one’s who cheated. In my experience I have been cheated on by as many as woman as man So I dont understand where there would be a problem. If you commit to someone you commit to them because you love them an want to be with them forever,sometimes it doesnt work out that way but that is the same with any sexual orientation.
My daughter who is 25 an openly bi she has been married once to a man an divorced she has sense been in relationsips with both women an men an as far as I know she has been faithful to everyone she is in a longterm relationshp. She is now in a relationship with a man ( over 2 years now,not married,say’s she will not marry again,that remains to be seen) he knows she is bi,he is not into threesomes she is fine with that,she is commited to him an only him.
So I guess what I am saying is it doesnt matter what your sexual oriientation is,hetrosexual,homosexual,bi,transgender,on and on. It is the type of person you are and the type of person they are. I beleive is whom ever you commit to either by marriage,commitment ceramony, or just a comment to each other to be faithful an see no other people., take your commitment very seriously.
I honestly hate it when people “assume” if your bisexual” you will stray,sleep with other people an not be faithful,just because you have been labled “bisexual” either male or female.
Being bisexual is more then just having sex with someone who is the same sex as you are.People are people and your attracted to someone for more then sex if your wanting a longterm relaitonship.it’s becasue of the person,not whats between their legs. And the other thing I hate is when a man gets into a relationship with a women who is bisexual thinking she will always be willing to have threesomes and that is to him like it’s ok to have sex with another woman.
My husband to be is faithful to me and I am to him,he does not want another person involved in our relationship and neither do I.
Sorry so long but I sometimes get upset that people are “judged,taged,labled,harrased,not trusted,on an on” just do to their sexuality,race,religion,color,an again on an on)
People are People,this world needs to stop judging everyone an worry about themselves.
If you were asking this question for yourself I hope I have been of some help. Good luck with what ever decision you make,and please dont hesitate on a relationship that might become a lifelong relationship just due to sexual orientaion. Peace

@nana1968 Thanks for the detailed answer. I am bi as well, but not acting on that as my wife of 35 years has no interest in an open relationship. Like you, that is just fine with me. I do not feel incomplete without sampling both sexes on a regular basis.

@ETpro Your very welcome. I was hoping with being more detailed,some people would realize that when your in a relations what ever your sexual orientation,if your commited to that person,your wanting to be with that person only. I am glad to see you feel the same. There are however people who are what people call “bi curious” an if that is the case then maybe that person feels the need to explore that side of them,but then again if your in a commited relationship you have to decide if it’s really worth loosing that person your with if they dont agree. So hope my side of it helps some. Peace