How do you deal with parents who are embarrassed about your gay wedding?
Pete and I are planning a very very small wedding (basically just one step above going to the justice of the peace). We’re not inviting a lot of people (maybe 15, just immediate family), and we’re not having a reception. It’s going to be simple, and quick – neither of us has any desire for a traditional all-day-long affair. We’re planning on holding the wedding in his home town – which is about 8 hours away from where my folks live.
Pete comes from a big Italian family – and his family is fantastic! They couldn’t be more loving and supportive.
My family, on the other hand is rather small – I don’t have any brothers or sisters – and to put it bluntly, my parents are just plain embarrassed by the fact that I’m gay.
They’ve done their best to ignore the fact that I’m gay, and avoided any attempt at getting to know Pete – in fact they’ve only met him once. Through all the years we’ve been together, he’s never once been invited to their house. And my parents have never spoken to any of my relatives about the fact that I’m gay or engaged – despite the fact that all of my relatives know (except for my grandmother).
My extended family has been so incredibly supportive – except for my mom and dad. When I called to tell my parents the wonderful news of my engagement, my mom answered the phone and simply said “OK, I’ll tell your father” and then hung up the phone. There was no “Congratulations!”, no “We’re so happy for you”, not even a simple “That’s nice dear”.
Now that the big day is upon us, I’m not sure how to deal with everything. We want a simple wedding. But since it’s going to be 8 hours away from where my family lives, and since my only immediate family has such a negative view of my wedding, and we haven’t even spoken since the day I called to tell them of my engagement (almost a full year ago), I just don’t know what to do.
It would be nice to have someone to represent me at my own wedding. But I really don’t want my parents there – Should I invite my parents to the wedding?
If so, what should I say to them? I don’t even know where to begin the conversation after not speaking to them for so long.
If not, isn’t it going to be odd that only Pete’s family shows up to my wedding?
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