What do you think about parents that smoke weed?

I don’t think anyone should smoke anything around children. Kids don’t have the choice that adults do to remove themselves from an area where second-hand smoke is present, so it could be considered a form of abuse.

Smoking weed is one thing… doing any kind of smoking around your children is another and in my book it’s not a responsible loving thing to do at all.

When they are that young? That’s horrible lol. My mother waited until I was much older until she started slipping and letting me find out lol.

I don’t think parents should smoke around their kids. This applies to weed, as well.

I strongly disagree in smoking anything around kids.

There is a time and a place, and that time should not come until the child is grown and an adult.

I am 51 and my daughter is 23.

It has only been in the past few years that she knows I have and do smoke/ make brownies on occasion.

On the rare occasions I smoked weed during her childhood I kept it on the down low, after bedtime, outside, completely concealed in smell and vision.

Now we kid around about happy brownies and I feel comfortable in her knowing as we are now equals and my parenting duties have been fulfilled.

Being intoxicated around kids is not cool, and, it is irresponsable.

Yeah, it bothers me…it really bothers me.
So much, in fact, that I really don’t feel comfortable going over there anymore. I feel inclined to say something but don’t really know if it’s my place. Usually the boy is in another room (but in the same small house). They are the caretakers for him, there is never another parental figure/grandparent there (in case of an emergency or something).
One time they were having a bonfire. They were smoking outside (and drinking heavily) while their child was inside alone. They (we) were in the backyard. The boy has been known to open the front door and run down the street. He easily could have done it that night. It was dark outside. Who knows what would have happened. I mentioned something like, “Isn’t so-and-so inside sleeping? What if he wakes up? Do you want me to go inside and watch tv?” They acted like I was a stick in the mud (I kind of am a stick in the mud)...

I don’t care if people smoke weed. I don’t care if anyone smokes weed.

I don’t agree with smoking around children.. at all. I don’t smoke weed, but I do smoke cigarettes, and I would never do so around my stepsons or any of my friends/family’s children, either.

“One time they were having a bonfire. They were smoking outside (and drinking heavily) while their child was inside alone. They (we) were in the backyard. The boy has been known to open the front door and run down the street. He easily could have done it that night. It was dark outside. Who knows what would have happened. I mentioned something like, “Isn’t so-and-so inside sleeping? What if he wakes up? Do you want me to go inside and watch tv?” They acted like I was a stick in the mud (I kind of am a stick in the mud)...”

That goes way beyond smoking pot in front of your kid. They just sound like they aren’t doing a lot of parenting at all.

I, for safety reasons, would stand against smoking anything around kids where they could ingest it. But only because they’re developing. However, smoking anything in front of them outside, or where they can see it (e.g., through a window) or having them know that it happens is the same as drinking around the kids.

I think it’s important to, if you do do it, to show your kids how it’s done responsibly, or that you do it without having it take over your life. Not to encourage use of anything – as in a perfect world no one would do any of this. However, it does make your kids comfortable in coming to you if they’re tempted, doing it, and less inclined to hide behavior from you. Taking the shame out of the behavior is important.

Thanks everyone for the answers!
@iamthemob – that’s a really good perspective. I hadn’t really thought of it in that way (as an opportunity to teach responsible behavior).
I also don’t agree with heavy drinking around children, either. Maybe I am just particularly conservative when it comes to this sort of thing.

@iamthemob – Isn’t it paradoxical to teach your children how to do something that’s illegal “responsibly”? I agree with teaching kids about drinking responsibly, but something about smoking weed responsibly doesn’t jive for me. I mean, I know it’s possible for people to be responsible in their marijuana use, but can a child understand that?

Isn’t being impaired on anything kind of make parenting harder? And smoke around kids is wrong, and exposing them to drugs or alcohol at a young age just adds one more risk element for them to deal with as an adolescent. They’ll be exposed to these things soon enough.

@Seelix – That depends on what nation you live in. But also it depends on what you mean when you talk about a paradox. To say that it’s irresponsible to do something that’s illegal assumes that legality and responsibility are synonymous.

It’s difficult to make it jive intellectually, I agree. But the resolution for me is more the recognition that the statistics on teenage use indicate that experimentation is common in a way that it’s almost inevitable. Underage drinking is illegal in the U.S. The number one cause of death among kids 15–20 involves a car crash. And 1 in 4 of those was due to underage drinking. And it’s almost certain that nearly all had been drinking without parental knowledge, in secrecy, and more than likely to excess (as they didn’t know when they might get liquor again).

Encouraging responsible illegal behavior, therefore, is statistically the most responsible thing a parent can do. Demonstrating that you understand usage means that you can’t make it shameful. Therefore, if you do choose to use, your children should be made aware. In any case, whenever they first get a chance to use any of narcotic substance (tobacco, liquor, or pot) it will be at a time when it is illegal for them to do so. But it will also be at a time when it is possible for them to understand legal repercussions, more than likely. And using in the open isn’t the only part of the equation – communication is essential, but using in the open allows the communication to be honest and not hypocritical.

@jenandcolin

‘Conservative’ is GOOD, when it comes to caring for children, yours or anothers.

My ex husband drank too much, one of the reasons we are divorced, and it bothered me terribly when our daughter was small, I was extremely angered by his behaviors on many occasions.

Being intoxicated completly lowers ones ability to be aware and alert, to pay ATTENTION to a child. Infact, it inhibits the DESIRE to pay attention, period.

And yes, I agree with @iamthemob

My daughter knows that I ‘use’ marijuana responsibly and for creative purpose only.
I do not leave my home, drive or otherwise engage in risk taking behaviors.

I get a little high and tear my house apart and re-arrange, write, commune with nature on my property, play my drums, star gaze in my hot tub while easing out the muscle tension. lol

While enjoyable now & then I much prefer a state of clear mindedness most of the time. ;-)

I am pleased and confident in my daughters responsible nature and secure in her decision making process. I have always been an advocate of sharing ones experiences as examples of good, bad, smart and stupid outcomes with our kids.

My daughter knows much of what my expereinces have been in all areas, sex. drugs etc.

Being a 70’s girl I am no stranger to sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. lol

My daughter is quite conservative and once, as a teen when I was cautioning her about drinking she said ” MOM! You were waaay wilder than I am!” haha

Put me right in my place and made me aware I was projecting my youthful shennanigans onto her.

I am very pleased with how she has turned out and our adult relationship now. :-)

@jenandcolin – I don’t think believing that one shouldn’t drink to excess around kids is conservative at all. Drinking to excess is objectively irresponsible. Fun, but irresponsible. So doing so isn’t showing how to be responsible with it around your kids (or anyone elses).

I think you’re 100% right on that front. And it reveals an inherent problem in my view, but I think one that is less damaging than putting kids in a position where they need to hide stuff from you – it’s more than likely that you’re going to smoke or drink too much in front of your kids. But again, as long as you talk about it, and admit that it was wrong to do so, it can be part of the lesson.

Letting your kids see that you, much like most humans, can eff things up is one of the most important things I think we can do.

I don’t like it.

But so what? Would I call Children’s Services on a friend? That’s wiping away a friendship—my husband’s friendship, at that. Tricky. How badly does this affect the child?

My feeling is that pot is used to make people feel better. It suggests that they can’t feel better without the weed. I know it is usually some kind of pain that people use in order to feel better about their lives. When you smoke in front of kids, if you do it very regularly, you are telling them this is a perfectly acceptable way to deal with the shit in your life.

Maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t. If you’re covering over pain, then you don’t realize it’s even there, which means you don’t see a need to do anything about it.

Kids shouldn’t have to breath poisoned air of any kind. But they do. Not everyone can have the highest quality life. We all have shit to deal with. I don’t think it’s a good thing to have a 3-yr-old exposed to pot on a regular basis, but it’s going to happen and that’s something you have a hard time changing if people object. Still, being a nag does help with other smoking issues. Maybe this one, too.

What would everyone think if they went to drop off the kids at daycare and the entire staff is walking around with joints?

@Adirondackwannabe – I wouldn’t leave my kids there because those people are getting high on the job. That’s just unprofessional, and I wouldn’t leave my kids in the hands of someone who wasn’t taking that job seriously.

There’s a difference between doing something in front of your kids, and doing something that prevents you from being able to take care of them. Drugs and drinking to excess is something that prevents you from taking care of your kids. Simply doing it at all, by necessity, is not.

@Adirondackwannabe

I agree.

I don’t want my pilot, doctor, propane guy or dentist stoned while working on me or for me.

I don’t want them trying to do anything while eating a Whopper with one hand either.
And, definetly NOT eating a Whopper one handed while stoned! lol

You might want to explain to your hubby that you do think it’s a big deal that his buddies smoke around their child and why you think it is. Maybe your hubby will see your point of view and discuss with his buddies why it is not a good idea to indulge in such activities around children. That way you have gotten it off your chest and if hubby can help change someone’s bad behavior (or not), it’s out of your hands.

@Coloma – Great point regarding impairment. It’s not well-publicized (also because it’s hard to measure) that the potential damage from driving while drowsy is as great as driving while drunk.

My friend Alicia used to smoke weed with her parents. I can’t judge; she’s a perfectly good person who happens to have two hippies for parents.

Of course my mom think it’s appalling. I certainly wouldn’t smoke around my kids, especially at that young age. And that’s not just because it’s weed, it’s because it’s smoke in general. Smoking tobacco around your kids is no better.

Really, you don’t take drugs? You don’t drink alcohol or coffee, or use medications like Tylenol or antibiotics? And if you don’t, you really can’t imagine doing these things in front of your son? And you consider doing so akin to child abuse?

You may think I’m arguing a small point but I think it’s a very big point. We’re talking about drugs: we encounter them daily in our society, but if we misuse them we can suffer serious lifelong problems (if not death), so it’s extremely important we make responsible decisions about them. No one can make responsible decisions about anything if they’re confused about the issues involved.

Drugs are substances which physically affect our bodies. Drugs have negative and positive effects. Drugs interact with other substances in our body and other individual factors (meaning, with every drug, there are some people who will respond differently from the norm). When you take any drug, you should (1) Make yourself aware of all the possible effects (2) Take the recommended precautions (3) Observe your reactions (4) Be mindful not to develop a habit or addiction (possible with all drugs), and (5) Speak with a medical professional about your use. This is true of all drugs: illegal, legal, medical, recreational, even “natural” (like coffee).

I’ve found when people start focusing too much on the distinction between legal/illegal, they stop thinking of legal drugs in the above ways.

So, I suspect your problem isn’t with the drugs, it’s with the illegal behaviour. Certainly, it’s not ideal, modelling illegal behaviour for your kids. Personally, if I had kids, I would keep my illegal behaviours secret from them until they were adults. I think it would take a lot (I mean a LOT) of reasoned conversations to combat the “monkey-see monkey-do” reaction. Hopefully, these parents are taking the time (and will continue to take the time) to have those conversations. And if they’re not? That’s a shame. But either way, is it akin to child abuse? I think that’s a ridiculous proposition.

Or, wait, maybe your problem is this drug causes inebriation, thus potentially places the child in danger due to poor parental supervision? Alcohol causes inebriation, too; I’d actually argue that, in excessive amounts, alcohol is more threatening than weed (in moderate amounts, I’d say they’re about equal). Do you also think people who drink alcohol in front of their children are abusing them? Another ridiculous proposition IMO.

Or maybe you’re concerned about the second-hand smoke? I am, too. I even feel uncomfortable with the idea of weed or cigarettes being smoked in the same room as a pet! It’s a consent issue, to me: adults can choose to endanger themselves, but children and pets aren’t able to make that choice, so the adults in charge of them should choose the safest option on their behalf. Personally, I would encourage your husband’s friends to smoke in a different room from their son. But if they say no, they say no, and again, it’s ridiculous to suggest this is child abuse, IMO.

I don’t think parents should do anything in front of their kids that they don’t want their kids doing. But I also recognize the “rights” of adults to drink and smoke in their own home. And the reason I say this is because my parents and siblings all smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol around me as far back as I can remember which created in me the feeling that “it’s something grownups do.” I know zero adults who refrain from a drink because a child is close by.
I was used to it. I expected it. I didn’t care. Do I have allergies? No. A lung condition? No. Did I smoke and drink as a teen? Yes. Then I lost interest in it.
Weed feels like a different story. I guess it isn’t; I guess it’s the same as a beer and cigarette. But it’s illegal so , no. Any more than I’d steal in front of a child. no, of course I don’t steal.
And to me there’s also a disrespect of the child involved if one does this stuff. But I can’t figure out why I feel it’s disrespectful.

@nicobanks – you are correct. My mistake, I meant I don’t use any “illegal” drugs. I really don’t have any issue with anyone else doing them (as long as they are not putting anyone else in a dangerous situation). They just never interested me. I think marijuana use should be legal…but used responsibly (not around children).
No, I don’t drink alcohol. I just don’t like drinking.
My problem(s) with illegal drug use and parenting are all three (1, 2 and 3) of your points.
Sometimes I can be known as “a stick in the mud”...I was wanted to find out how many people agree with me (that illegal drug use does not belong around children).

Nothing should be smoked around children, not even a ham. The simplae fact that children have no choice but to inhale is the ovbious reason. The substance itself is irrelevent, if they want to smoke, have fun, but step outside.

I agree with most of the above. I could care less if people smoke pot (or anything else) but doing so around children is irresponsible for several reasons. The story about the bonfire is just horrifying to me. If I knew my kid could get out of the house, there would be a lock on the door he could not open. In fact, I still have locks on the door the kids can’t open! It always makes me mad to read a news story about a toddler who drowned in someone’s pool after wandering out of the house when the parents knew the child had wandered off before. :(

Your husband’s friends need to grow up. Their son’s needs come first. That doesn’t mean they have to go through life never having fun or acting like saints, but they do need to control themselves. If they want some time off from being parents, they should get a sitter. They should stop smoking in the house and not smoke pot where the child can see them. At the very least, they could take turns getting high so at least one of them is capable of caring for the child.

I think @MissAusten pretty much covers why you’re not a stick in the mud for wanting your friends to be more responsible with their kids. And I think it’s not really the “pot” issue so much as the “responsibility” issue. Clearly, how they’re doing it is problematic.

I fully support everything that @MissAusten says about raising kids (so far, ;-)) as every time she’s addressed something she was unsure of about parenting, she’s looked at all the issues rationally and come to the conclusion that takes the best interest of her kids into account as well as the freedom of parents to try to instill beliefs in their child and the potential problems of all those interactions. I think she’s probably raising super-kids.

I don’t think adults should smoke around anyone’s kids. I’m a smoker and I don’t want to smoke near kids or non smokers if I can help it. Smoking weed is something I personally detest but aside from that, being currently illegal then I’d not want kids to see their parents doing it at all.

I think smoking weed without children around is stupid but largely benign. Smoking it with children around is gross neglect and child abuse, because weed has the potential to cause developmental problems. It is putting the person’s wishes above the health of the child, and that is unacceptable.

I’ve been reading this and can’t seem to find the part where they’re in danger of having their children taken away from them because, right or wrong, it’s still illegal. One concerned neighbor calls the police, * poof * the kids are gone. That alone should be some kind of deterrent.

Anyone who deliberately inhales a harmful particles into their lungs is crazy. To subject their children to it is abuse, plain and simple, plus it is illegal.

@YARNLADY – Eh, people do crazy stuff all the time.

Haven’t read any of the responses. Just tossing in my two cents.

My best friend’s parents smoke pot around her and her sister and they’re both perfectly fine. Lovely people, all of them.

I dont think anything of parents that smoke weed.

I do however think that parents that do it around young children are fucking assholes.

@iamthemob Aw, shucks!

For health reasons, smoking anything around one’s children is a bad idea. Also, since smoking weed is illegal, doing so in front of the kids sets a bad example, and is somewhat risky. At least wait until they’re out of the house so that they don’t have to go into foster care if mom and dad get hauled off to jail for drug possession. Regardless of how one feels about the legality of pot, one should do what’s best for the children while they are young.

Lonelydragon, great answer. i agree totally with your answer. secondhand smoke from regular cigarettes is bad enough on children and should never be smoked in the same house. smoking illegal pot and its secondhand smoke has got to be deadly. has anyone located test results of secondhand smoke from marijuana?

@john65pennington uhhhh ok so what im gathering from your post is you think second hand smoke from marijuana is more dangerous than cigarettes. Is that correct?

@john65pennington – long-term primary inhalation of marijuana smoke has been shown to result in zero deaths, whereas tobacco is one of the top killers in the world. I don’t understand why you would think that it has got to be deadly…what information are you basing that on?

Let’s run a test case. Someone without kids invite us all over. Half of us will smoke pot while the other half sits around and breathes in the second-hand smoke for a few hours. I’ll volunteer to risk my life for such an important study! We just can’t do it at my house because of the kids. ;)

Oh, @MissAusten , what a truely selfless soul you are! ;-)

@MissAusten

Hahaha…come on over!
My house is spotless and it’s just about that time. ;-)

Yay! I’ll bring cookies!

@MissAusten

and french bread!

Many (most?) people who smoke marijuana mix the marijuana with tobacco before rolling the joint…

@nicobanks in european countries, maybe. In america however that is a pretty rare occurrence.

@uberbatman – Everyone I’ve ever seen roll a joint (which isn’t all that many, I guess, though I do have quite a few friends who partake) uses tobacco. Maybe it’s not common in your area, but it is in Ontario, at least.

That’s very strange. No one does that in the Bay Area, from what I know. And I’ve seen many joints rolled in my day…but they’ve also all been teens. Not sure if it’s an age thing…

I don’t know that it’s an age thing, because everyone I know has always done it, from high school to now. Must just be a regional thing.

@Seelix I did say america it was rare.

Rolling with tobacco is just fucking retarded. The idea is to extend the weed longer but when you put tobacco in it you cant take as big of a hit and really hold it in without coughing up a fucking lung and feeling like shit. Tobacco smoke is very different than pot smoke. Holding in tobacco too long will make you lightheaded and nauseous, no thanks.

@uberbatman My experience is on par with Seelix’s and neither am I from Europe. Otherwise, why are you so intolerant? Just becuase you don’t like something, that means it’s “retarded”? The “idea” with mixing it with tobacco isn’t to extend it, at least not in my experience – it’s to make it smoother. I’ve never known anyone to feel lightheaded or nauseous from it, or coughing from it. I actually cough much more when it’s straight marijuana. I also don’t get as high. So that’s why I choose what I choose, same as everyone I know (almost). I really don’t care what you choose – you’re not hurting anyone, so I won’t insult you. Why do you insult me?

SMOOOTHER!?! what kind of dirt weed do you guys smoke where your from?

@uberbatman Again, there’s no reason to be so insulting. I won’t engage with you again until you stop this.

I fail to understand how it can be smoother unless its dirt weed. Good marijuana is smooth and has a delicious taste to it. How can something as toxic as tobacco make that smoother?

Different smokes for different folks. ;-)

I bake my herbs and have a little pipe. I havn’t smoked a joint in years.