Social Question

avengerscion's avatar

Why all the drama?

Asked by avengerscion (582 points ) December 10th, 2010

I feel that I am not prone to drama. Seeing the drama of a co-worker’s romantic life brings a giant question mark over my head. If someone treats you poorly and you admit that it’s unacceptable, why would you return to that person? If you’ve invested considerable time, love, and effort into the relationship – I understand more. But if you’ve only been dating for a month, why all the drama? Are you really in love with the person at that point, or are you still on cloud nine? Sometimes I think my co-worker is a romance junky because she can’t stay single for more than a month at a time, and she lives in a small community where everyone knows each other and near every guy her age jumps at the opportunity to date her. She’s on Facebook and texting all day every day about personal things, and there’s some sort of romantic drama every day. Enlighten me, please.

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16 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

Haven’t you heard? The whole world’s a stage.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Some people enjoy pretending that others care.

Paradox's avatar

This simple equation maybe would help? Creating drama + Making sure everyone sees it= Ego boost?

perspicacious's avatar

I can’t enlighten you. You are learning through your experiences. That’s how life works.

marinelife's avatar

Sounds like she hasn’t grown up.

Trillian's avatar

Sounds boring. Seems like there’e always someone who is unprofessional and under the delusion that others are waiting with baited breath to see what they are going to do next, as if…yawn.
I avoid people like this.

HearTheSilence's avatar

I think people just get bored with mundane life cycles and feel that drama is something that will make their lives more interesting.

Peanutjazz's avatar

Okay so it sounds like she just likes to be with a person just to be with a person and honestly theres nothing you can do or say to change that for her. She is going to be like that until she wants to change. But you can distance yourself from the situation. All you have to do is be her co-worker.

mammal's avatar

humans inevitably feed off drama, i’d like a definitive definition of drama please….

wundayatta's avatar

Some people need to be involved. They need to feel intensely. Romance drags your emotions all around, and that fulfills the needs that many people have. It doesn’t matter if you feel good or feel bad. It only matters that you feel and feel intensely.

A lot of people don’t get this, and despise people who make a big fuss over relationships. They think it is immature behavior. They want smoothness and predictability in their lives. A normal life is enough excitement for them.

This isn’t a conscious thing for most people. It’s a matter of feelings and being pushed to act by forces that you don’t see and therefore are unable to control.

So, drama is really important for a lot of people. Probably more women than men, but both do it. I don’t think it’s necessary to judge people like that. If you don’t participate, it can’t affect you.

Trillian's avatar

Wow. Identify much? I don’t know if “judge” is the correct terminology here. I don’t give a shit one way or the other until I’m forced to hear about it, over and over ad nauseum. Even then I wouldn’t consider myself to be “judging”, just bored and not at all likely to seek out that person’s comapny for any reason whatsoever. Maybe if I were having trouble falling asleep….

wundayatta's avatar

@Trillian How do you get “forced” to hear about it over and over?

Trillian's avatar

@wundayatta I guess because the people that I had in mind for this question have extremely loud, penetrating voices. One girl in particular tells not only her latest “love” issues but also what she bought last night or last weeknd. One cannot escape it. She also makes a point of repeating things, I guess in an effort to make sure that everyone hears her news. She also feels at liberty to spill the lives of others and just plain stupid things that she takes to the big boss, then relays the results back to the rest of the staff.
I’m telling you, it’s boring
Another girl has more intelligence but is always angy about somthing and tells the story to one or tw people at a time all day. What hapened, what she said, how she’s going to get “revenge” – over and over and over, one cannot miss hearing it and she wants to know; “What would you do?”
It is not a question of “participating”. It’s about avoidance.

wundayatta's avatar

@Trillian Ah, I see. Sounds horrid.

Trillian's avatar

@wundayatta You have no idea.

avengerscion's avatar

This really is a “forced to hear it” situation. We’re a three person office, and the person in question is the one who does probably 80% of the talking, which does in fact make the time pass easier. The guy she’s with now is so petty and has put her both on cloud nine and recently had her balling her eyes out. She thinks he keeps coming after her because she’s a challenge unlike his ex girlfriends and wannabe girls who fall all over him. Now I’ve been in a situation where I was treated poorly and stayed because I loved the guy, and we were together for 2 years before he started his crap. I guess what I’m having a problem understanding is the time frame. How can a person be invested enough in a relationship/person after only a couple of weeks to overlook/allow mistreatment?

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