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blueiiznh's avatar

Daughter wants to back out of ski club?

Asked by blueiiznh (16563 points ) January 3rd, 2011

My daughter has stated over a few years her desire to join ski club. She is 10 years old. She has gone twice with me in the past, but it has been a few years. This year she also wanted to join and I did get to sign her up. It starts in two days and now says she doesnt want to go. She says the biggest reason is her fear to fail in front of her friends. I can understand, but how do I help her further on this to help build up her confidence. I dont have enough time now to take her on my own to help boost her confidence.
Any thoughts are appreciated.

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13 Answers

WestRiverrat's avatar

How often does the ski club meet? Does she lose any money if she quits now as opposed to in say 3–4 sessions into it?

If it was my child, I would tell her that she signed up for it. She now has to give it a fair trial before she backs out.

Pandora's avatar

Explain that there is something of more value than what her friends think.
1. She made a commitment and should follow through. In life we don’t always get to back out of promises.
2. And promises to herself should be of more importance than what others think. If she is always going to fear what others think of her than she will never push forward and ahead.
3. Part of growing up means daring to dream and attempt to make it come true. No one else can do that for her. She has to be willing to take risks.

marinelife's avatar

Tell her you need her to give it a real try before backing out.

Tell her that her friends will not be looking at her, but focusing on themselves.

Tell her there is nothing wrong with failing as long as you try your best.

gorillapaws's avatar

Joe Montana wanted to quit his little-league football team to join the boy scouts when he was a child. His father pressed the point that @Pandora has raised that he made a commitment to his team, and they are counting on him. The rest is history.

blueiiznh's avatar

To answer WestRiverrat question, I am not focusing on the monetary side of this. I am focusing on the commitment side. She plays other sports (soccer, swimming, etc) and am trying to focus on the give it a fair trial, commitment and learn to overcome fears that all of us face in our lives. This one is a tough one for her.

BarnacleBill's avatar

You might want to point out that most 10 year olds don’t know how to ski, and that falling down at age 10 is far better than falling down at age 16. Everyone will be falling down.

SamIAm's avatar

Assure her that everyone falls! And that her friends are probably going to fall too! I’m 23 and just learned to board this weekend, needless to say, I’ve been in bed all day with horrendous pain and soreness from falling. Everyone falls. It’s part of the learning experience—like spelling a simple word wrong on a spelling test (or in a text message!).

SamIAm's avatar

Also, can you remind her of a time she fell playing soccer? And maybe how it doesn’t happen as frequently anymore? That may help her realize that it’s normal progression.

YARNLADY's avatar

Our sports supply store has an area called ski readiness, which consists of a ramp they can use to practice balance and develop their muscles. Maybe you can find something similar in your area for her to practice on.

blueiiznh's avatar

After a few conversations and her having some thinking time, my daughter stated that she will give it a go.
I will keep my fingers crossed for her come Wednesday evening.
Thanks all

snowberry's avatar

@blueiiznh One of the very first things she will learn is to fall down. In skiing, if you don’t know how to fall properly, you can get hurt. Perhaps that will make her feel better.

hotgirl67's avatar

Tell her that she should do the ski club if she finds its fun and if its really truly what she wants to do.If she is still hesitant remind her that if she falls then its important to get right back up and try again.Tell her that every one has fear and that its what she does with that fear that counts.Is she going to let her fear prevent her from finding some activity she loves?

blueiiznh's avatar

Well my daughter joined her school group on the bus and was very anxious. One of the attending mothers (who I and my daughter both know) called me to let me know that my daughter was not feeling well and didnt join the leson groups. I spoke with daughter on cell and the very caring mother. I asked the mother to see if she could find a friend and buddy her.
End result was that daughter did go out with the group, took in some of the lessons and although somewhat quiet about it finally shared some of her fun moments and learning.
I plan on taking her this weekend to help boost the confidence a bit if she wants (no push).
A good snow is expected Friday to boot! Thanks for all the thoughts and help on this one.
Put your tentacles in the air!

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