Some progress is better than no progress. What's your milestone? (part 10)

I am finally back on track with exercise and eating better. This week, it resulted in a little weight loss (1 lb.) and a couple of inches lost. I’m measuring every week now because I need the accountability.

I made it through the New Year without having a breakdown. Seriously, after this past year, I’m surprised that I held up so well.

I’m working on a new Fluther interview, and a new blog feature. Hope to have one or the other posted in the next week.

Finally after a year trying sold our house and can kiss my wonderful neighbors goodbye!

@Cruiser : Happy for you! Selling in this economy is indeed a milestone!

Auggie, can we ask “who”?

You can, but I’m not gonna’ answer. :p

Everyday in everyway i’m getting better & better. Hard to improve on perfection I know, but i’m undeterred ;¬}

Goals—

-Gain 20 pounds (I’m 6’ and 140)
-Move my website to a dedicated server and rock some seedboxes. To pay for the damn thing.
-Our laundry room is full of mold. The source of the leak was found on the roof. I need to fix that. And half the drywall and insulation needs to be replaced. Good times.

I got tired of sitting around, complaining about my financial situation, so I did something about it. I got a second job and it is actually kind of fun because it is different and I’m compatible with my co workers. I enjoy the extra money and I’m paying off debt way faster than I expected. I have never worked in retail before, so I feel this will be another good experience from me to learn from.

Yesterday I submitted the very last installment to my graduate school applications. Now I have to sit back and wait for acceptance / rejection letters in spring. Although I haven’t packed yet, I am finally getting on a plane tomorrow for Hawaii :) At the end of the month, I’ll learn whether or not my short story has been accepted to a conference in Pittsburgh. I have my notes collected for an abstract I will submit to a convention in Las Vegas.

And I finally kicked my anti-social depression to the curb once and for all because as of New Year’s weekend, I am in an relationship :) Life is good right now.

Next Goal Update: whether I finished my abstract on time, collected a few poems for the workshop I am enrolled in, and if I have stuck with my New Year’s Resolution to submit a piece of writing for publication at least once a month.

We got our IRS check from the homeowners credit in the mail… and my hubby is paying back his parents, a credit card and transferring the rest of debt to no-interest accounts. All should be paid off by the end of summer! :)

School starts next Wednesday. I just bought textbooks. This is my last semester of two classes (and then I only have one left and a thesis to graduate) and I’m pretty excited. School lost it’s flavor after getting married… but with things at home going well and my health back in order it should be a great semester (plus I got the requirements out of the way and am taking classes I’m interested in).

I am getting back in the swing of weight watchers after the holiday and using our Kinect Biggest Loser game. I’m not doing great, but I weigh less than when I started before the holidays.

Still smoke free! Trying to go for a walk everyday. It’s taking a bit of talking to myself today as it’s cold outside!!

@faye – You rock! Quitting smoking is a tough one!

Haven’t lost any real weight yet but I’ve been exercising for a month now and I’ve made it through the holidays without any weight gain. I’ve also lost 2 inches off my hips and 2 off my waist. I am firming up nicely everywhere. Another plus so far is my joints feel much stronger now and I’m able to amp up my work out routine.

@Pandora Good for you. I am such a slouch at keeping to a routine. @tedibear Thanks, hope to keep it up.

@Pandora – That’s what I need to do, firm up. Are you doing anything specific?

My anti-diet plan isn’t working :-( Must figure out a better way…

The chocolates, fruitcake and cookies from the holidays are all gone. I’m going to buy more chocolates as knowing I could have one in the evening has kept me straight for 3 weeks, diet-wise and is also my treat for not smoking. -dark chocolate, of course.

@nebule what is an anti-diet plan? I thought I’d been doing that for the last two years!!

We’ve hit our lowest point in terms of our financial situation. This week I can’t afford a monthly metrocard or some basic stuff at the supermarket – two friends came by today and helped us out with both: one gave me her monthly and another forced us to go to the store with her so she can pay for some bounty and toilet paper…at this point, Alex is looking for ANY work (minimum wage included) just so that we can send Ark to pre-school (which is expensive and we don’t qualify for UPK)...I’ve been pretty depressed about our situation for a while…we will no longer do hip hop classes or Music Together classes or Alexey ballroom classes until things improve and by improve I mean when Alex gets a dead end fucked up job for $10/hour, ugh.

I’m sorry you’re in such a tough spot, @Simone_De_Beauvoir. I know it’s awful. Sending positive thoughts in your direction. <3

@augustlan Thanks – today is a new day, I’m staring it with hope.

@faye just allowing yourself to eat whatever you want, knowing that there are no restrictions… this is supposed to curb any binging…and encourage healthy eating but it’s just not working… I’m binging anyway because I know am putting on weight and I’m hating myself every minute… it seems like one can’t get out of a cycle that’s lasted a life time. I am doomed. I just want to shut the world out at the moment… things aren’t so good today :-(

@Simone_De_Beauvoir That’s really tough, I’m sorry you’re going through really hard financial stuff. However, it sounds like you have some good friends around :-) I know what you mean about the job situation…I am facing a huge step this year in going back to work after having my son four years ago and I’m terrified… terrified at the prospect of having to get a job that I won’t enjoy and I’ll be more miserable than I could imagine….despite my efforts to study and get a decent job… maybe tomorrow will be better for both of us xx

@nebule I’m with ya on the weight thing – I regained 10lbs I worked so hard on losing because of how much junk I ate in order to deal with stress. I am going to try to curb all that stuff again, starting today so here’s to a better future for both of us.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I wish you the best of luck and will power… I’m not sure I’ve done enough wallowing yet to move on…. Anyway…you’re very nearly at 30K lurve, which has to be a good thing!

@nebule Yeah, that is a good thing. As are all my friends and their support. Let’s be here for each other.

@nebule I don’t think you’re ‘doomed’ lol! Just keep plugging away. I’m known as the midnight snacker as I seem to lose all control then. @Simone_De_Beauvoir a nice thing you just said.

@faye Yeah, don’t tell anyone, lol

@Simone_De_Beauvoir thank you, that would be great xx
@faye and thank you… I don’t know what I would do without you jellies xx

So to update the rest of you (so many of you are on Facebook!), I became a freegan yesterday as I went dumpster diving with some friends by Trader Joe’s in the city and got 3 gigantic bags of food to take home with me (anything from produce to non-perishables to dessert stuff) and after I left (around 1 am), the rest of the team hung around in various spots and more dumpsters were taken out at 3 am and my friend saved me another 2 bags of soy milk and nuts and fruits and stuff and I’ll get it from him on Thursday – so this is all about $200 worth of organic stuff, for sure. I’m excited because it saves so much money and it pushed me to do something I’ve never done before and I had a fantastic time.

And now it’s not “waste”.. Good on ya, @Simone_De_Beauvoir

@JilltheTooth Exactly! The person that helped me learn the ropes yesterday takes food for himself and all the patients in his cancer support group. Others took food to feed others who can’t move around and look for food. It was an incredible thing to witness and disheartening to see SO much food being wasted.

One of our locally owned supermarkets has a program wherein they supply groups and shelters with their “still fine but can’t be legally sold” food products. They get as much of my business as I can give them.

@JilltheTooth I wish WholeFoods would do any of this – they’re so anti this kind of stuff, they go out of their way to triple bag their stuff and hide it so that no one can take it – how spiteful!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir that takes balls and I salute you my friend! x
@JilltheTooth that’s a great idea… I wonder if any of the supermarkets here do it?.... hmmmm

Application 4 of all PhD apps submitted.

I leave for Cleveland tomorrow; surgery’s on Wednesday. Eek. Will have my laptop with me and will be very much hopped up on pain meds for much of the time – I apologize in advance for any FUI (fluthering under the influence) that may occur!

Best of luck, Mariah. If you hurt let the nurses know and if the last analgesic didn’t work, tell them so. Take all the pain meds so you can get up and moving around your room- with help at first.

Congrats, @Simone_De_Beauvoir and good luck, @Mariah!

I’ve got a new blog post waiting to be published, and am working on several others. Also, I finally put away the Christmas decorations this past weekend.

My short-term disability ends this week and I’m looking forward to retuning to work! The treatment I’ve been on has been beneficial despite its side-effects. I’ve learned and healed a lot, in several different ways, while being at home for the past two months. Although the next several months are going to be physically challenging, I feel hopeful about my life as it unfolds. Thanks to the health crises, I’ve become more present to my life, and to my family and friends. Also, I’ve become more thankful and aware of the Divine’s active, loving care – without it I’d be without hope.

I spent a gazillion dollars in BestBuy yesterday on a new Mac for katawagrey (wish her luck, Jellies, she’s converting from a PC) and a new stove for me (thank god the old one made it through Christmas!) Considering how…er…thrifty I am (most people call me a cheap, screaming tightwad) that was quite an accomplishment! The BestBuy folks were very smiley at me. Go figure. (Maybe the promise of cookies helped???)

@prolificus I’m glad to hear that you’ve benefitted from that nasty drug – here’s hoping you’re able to taper off of it completely with no problems (if you haven’t already)! I loooove that appreciative post-sickness mental state. Enjoy it!

I don’t have ulceratove colitis (or a colon, for that matter) anymore!!

Surgeon says it went perfectly. He also said my colon looked very damaged, and so getting it out was definitely the right choice. I am so happy. I thought I would have at least some post-surgery remorse, but I feel profoundly peaceful about the whole thing (the narcotics don’t hurt with that).

Yay! I’m so glad, @Mariah. Keep us posted!

@Mariah Good for you!

Yay, @Mariah ! And that attitude will help your recovery, a lot!

I have eaten a healthy breakfast every day of the new year and haven’t had a smoke since Dec 14. Thank gawd there’s wine and chocolates left!!!

Oh, @faye , good on ya!

@faye congratulations!!! xxx

Thank you- atta girl’s do help!

I’m home from the hospital! That always feels sooo good.

I got an organ removed last Wednesday and already I have very little pain… I can’t believe that. Even my surgeon seemed a little bewildered by my quick recovery. They took away the little button that I pressed to get a dose of morphine on Friday, which I guess is really early. Overall, it looks like I’m going to bounce back really quickly from these surgeries. Next step (⅔) will be in April.

I did end up having that remorse hit a bit after they took me off the pain meds that were making me feel so peaceful, haha. Mostly I am really creeped out by the ostomy system right now. That is temporary but I’ll have it for 6 months. But I know logically that the surgery needed to happen, and I think when all is said and done I’ll be very happy with the oucome.

@Mariah Good to hear you are doing so well!! xx

Really, no one’s been on here?! I love reading about the good things! I have a worry this time though. My youngest has moved back home. So now I’m trying to run a house and feed 3 people from diability pay. My older daughter is trying to get her own business going and working p/t at another job. She has no extra. The youngest just got p/t job, istrying to find another and they both have student loans to pay. I’m feeling kind of resentful towards them and sure don’t want to show that too much.

@faye Eek, that is rough. I’ll bet they understand that they need to carry their own weight as best they can, though. Good luck!

We scheduled my next surgery today, April 20. On that date two years ago I was being admitted to the hospital and making what turned out to be a near-fatal request to be put on IV nutrition. Thinking about that, I feel like I am absolutely moving in the right direction.

I’m so glad you did this. I took care of a women who wouldn’t have a colostomy as a 30 yr old so she died at 41 from cancer in her bowel that ate into her bladder and abdominal wall. She lived on my unit for about 6 months. It was horrible for her. We had to knock her out to do her dressing, every day. You have absolutely moved in the right direction!

1. I have been accepted into 1 of the 4 schools I have applied to for my PhD in Sociology ( haven’t heard from the other 3 schools yet)
2. I started physical therapy to take care of my hurt ankle
3. I have bought Proactiv to take care of my acne
4. I have a new post on my parenting blog.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Congrats on school. My daughter paid for proactive- it didn’t work except to bleach her skin. She went to have hair lasered from her sideburns and the salon women told her to get her money back, that proactiv is actually a stressor on your skin. 100 years ago I read , put about a tbsp of vinegar in a sink of very hot water to rinse your face after you wash. the acid in the vinegar kills bacteria. The pickle smell goes away really fast!! This worked well for me.

I packed 27 boxes of books today for our move. We know when we will be leaving Kansas and have a date for when we have to be out of the house. We still have a few weeks, but I figured I’d start packing so that we could pace ourselves. :)

@Seaofclouds You are ahead of me. I know that we are moving in two months, and I am just starting to look for a place to go.

It is hard work. Everything is so expensive on this area. I am glad to be moving though,

@faye Oh! I don’t know, it works for me, :)

@Seaofclouds Where are you heading to? @Simone_De_Beauvoir My daughter is having skin problems from stress, I think. She is one of those people that looks tanned- until the proactive.

I decided to bite the bullet and go back to weight watchers; I’ve lost 3 and a half pounds so far. Unfortunately though I started smoking again :-( The weight gain really got to me, which enticed me back into smoking but I know it’s only a blip and at some point in the near future I’m going to get some support to give up…again!

I’ve also made the first steps in contacting my son’s father as after a few months now of him talking about his Dad (in an imaginary way – he’s never met him apart from when he was a baby) he told me yesterday that he wanted to meet him…so…I’m prepared for disappointments and tears from both me and my son, but hopefully I will be proved wrong and his father might actually give a damn.

@faye We are moving to Maryland. I can’t wait to get there because we will be closer to our families. We’ve been trying to find a house that we really like. We’ve narrowed it down quite a bit and now we’re just waiting to hear back from a few people before making a final decision about which one we will move into.

@nebule Congrats on the weight loss! I’m hoping it all goes much better than you think it will with your sons father. My heart goes out to you.

@nebule I would have walked through the 27C below we had on Sat if there had been a cigarette at the end. I phoned everyone I knew who smoked- nobody home so I didn’t get any!! You’ll get there! Congrats on the weight loss. @Seaofclouds what a load of work when you’re pregnant! Glad it’s a good move for you.

I’m anxiously waiting for @Seaofclouds to move to my neck of the woods!

@augustlan So is that near my neck of the woods too?

We found a house. :) It’s down by Annapolis, MD. I was looking at restaurants in the area a little while ago and already found a few I can’t wait to try. I miss having seafood. :)

@chyna @Seaofclouds Well it’s closer to our neck of the woods, anyway! We’d have some travelin’ to do to meet up, but it could probably be arranged.

Unfortunately, I’ve had another abnormal pap smear and the atypical cells in my cervix are back – I think I might be looking at another LEEP procedure (nothing to sneeze at, each one affects future ability to carry baby to term) or a cone biopsy or a hysterectomy down the road. I’m pretty upset about this.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir : Oh, Sweetie, that really sucks. I wish you all the best (and least damaging and invasive) of outcomes. I’m glad you check regularly and they found this stuff early. Green light coming your way.

@chyna @JilltheTooth Yeah, thanks…next Tuesday, he’ll be looking at things under the microscope again – I’ve read these recurrences are common…this is so touch and go now.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Oh goodness, wishing you the best.

Having an odd week here. Definitely a few days where I just haven’t felt like myself, felt much more discouraged than my normal self. Barely left bed yesterday. Kinda need to pull it together.
I’m just nervous about some very odd skin issues I’ve been having. Ulcerative colitis is an autoimmune disease, so despite all the smack talk my colon has received from me, it was actually the victim here of a psycho immune system. Now I’m worrying I’ve just taken away my immune system’s favorite punching bag and it’s looking for a new target. My face inexplicably started swelling up last night and I went into the ER for some epinephrine which cleared it right up but didn’t give me any answers. So sick of this shit.

@Mariah Eek…I’ve been reading about AI disorders lately and how people say they’re more prevalent in the West because we’ve basically sanitized ourselves to death and our immune systems are out of whack…also read about some DNA research in specific genes…it’s all too far in the future to make a difference for you, though.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’ve read similar. Many people actually believe that ulcerative colitis may have started as a reaction to the absence of a parasite that the body had become accustomed to carrying – the defenses that it would normally employ against the parasite turned on the body itself. Some people go walking barefoot in fields of feces to introduce parasites into the body in a last ditch effort to treat the disease. Rather vile stuff.

@Mariah Huh, that’s interesting. Of course, that can have other side effects, other diseases.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Sending good thoughts your way!
@Mariah & @Simone_De_Beauvoir I have a bunch of AI disorders, and know that when there’s one, there’s often another lurking nearby. Shilolo recently told me about some promising new research studies being conducted, where they actually have you purposely ingest some kind of parasite (worms, I think?). The work is focused on asthma and allergies, but shows some promise in other AI disorders as well. Of course, people are jumping the gun and buying the worms off the internet and giving themselves this treatment at home!

Fluther, I am so frustrated. It seems I am terribly allergic to all ostomy supplies. The skin on my belly is extremely red and itchy and weepy… this is a common problem for people at first, but I’m fucking seven weeks out of surgery right now and it’s just been getting worse and worse. I’m going through product after product trying to find something that my insane immune system doesn’t dislike, but no success yet. I’m saddled with this damn ostomy until July…. arghhh!
I think the worst thing about it is that, with the skin weeping the way it is, nothing is sticking well and so I’m afraid to leave my house for fear of having a leak in public. I’m getting cabin fever so bad it’s ridiculous. Not to mention I’m on a constant supply of benedryl which is leaving me fairly comatose. At this point, life with the ostomy is worse than life with ulcerative colitis was… I just have to hope that I don’t end up falling into that 3% for which the j-pouch fails and you’re stuck with a permanent ostomy. And I’m just scared as shit that this signifies that I’m developing other autoimmune/allergy problems, because I’ve been getting hives on my arms and stuff too…what I wouldn’t give to know how the next few months are going to play out. :(

@Mariah Ah crap. I was hoping the ostomy thing would be a breeze for you. I’m sure you are using powder before you attach the barrier, so maybe the powder is the problem? I hope you will find something you can use soon. I will be sending good thoughts and prayers to you that this is just the worst part, the best is yet to come.

@chyna I am doing a little science experiment on my leg… I cut out pieces of all the products I have and am sticking them there to see what gets a reaction and what doesn’t. Hopefully that will help me get to the bottom of this. Thanks so much for all your kindness.

Oh, man. That sucks, Mariah! I sure hope you can find some solution.

I got 94% for my last psychology assignment :o)...and have just submitted another, which I am very happy with!

Although it’s been a pretty traumatic time for me in the last week: I spent the entirety of Friday night arguing with my son’s father…well actually it was not really arguing but him firing lots of abuse at me…which resulted in him deciding he didn’t want to have anything to do with me and Theo. After five years of trying I finally need to put this man behind us and move on.

I was also in a car accident last week…a school girl ran out into the road in front of me from behind her group of friends…she didn’t look…and hit my car. Fortunately she is doing fine and on the mend but the whole experience has been quite traumatic and I’m just gently easing myself into trusting the world again. Everything seems so out of control and random. I know healing takes time and with each venture out in the car things should get easier, but it’s all very upsetting.

I hope everyone is doing well on this thread… I’m really stuck for time at the moment but am trying to get on Fluther more regularly so I will catch up! Love you all xxx

@nebule We try so hard sometimes to have the birth father remain in our lives, but it’s not always for the best. Be steadfast in your resolution.

Ark began pre-school last week and is doing okay. I finished applying Alexey to all the kindergartens, now we wait for letters. I am dating a new person, this girl from NYU, trying to take it slowly.

For those having tough times, I wish you the best and some rapid improvement.

SWEET RELIEF!!
I wasn’t expecting the testing I did on my leg to be so definitive! I didn’t react to the actual ostomy appliance, but the spot where I tested a barrier wipe (supposed to reduce irritation from adhesives – hah!) got red and itchy and puffy. I had thought this one product wasn’t working, but I started using that product at the same time as I started using the wipes. Now that I know that the wipes are bothersome, I’m giving that product another chance and things are so much better already. That’ll teach me to approach this thing like a controlled experiment and change only one variable at a time. It’s sticking well enough that I was able to get out of my house (halle-fucking-lujah!) and go walk on the treadmill at the gym today. I sure do appreciate you guys putting up with my grumpies the last few days.

@Mariah Three cheers for the scientific method and the tests that you devised. Very bright thing to do!

@Mariah Yay!!!

Got a scholarship and tuition coverage from CUNY and accepted their offer for a PhD program. Alex got a temp job (awful hours) with NHL (National Hockey League) so that’ll cover Ark’s tuition for another 3 months.

Congrats @Simone_De_Beauvoir!!!

@Cupcake Thanks!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Good news , lovin’ you babes xxxx

@nebule Yeah, and we needed some. Dying at home again with some horrid stomach virus.

I need to start dealing with some anger. I have decided that therapy is the way to go, and I plan on seeing my therapist for that and other issues in my life. I am looking forward to feeling better.

3 months a non-smoker! I feel so good about this, but it’s happened before and I lapsed majorly. Congratulations to everyone doing so well!

@faye Hurrah! Keep it up! Here are the benefits that you are beginning to experience after quitting smoking:

“2 WEEKS TO 3 MONTHS

* Circulation improves.
*
* Walking becomes easier.
Lung function increases up to 30%.

1 TO 9 MONTHS

* Coughing, sinus congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath decrease.
*
* Cilia regrow in lungs, increasing ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce infection.
Body’s overall energy increases.”
Source

@marinelife Thanks. I do like to check on what might be fixing!

Good for you, @faye!

Ugh, so I spoke a little too soon when I said “sweet relief.” Things are definitely better than they were before, now that I stopped using the wipes I am so allergic to. But, I’m still an itchy mess. We are actually on our way home from Cleveland right now, where I had my surgery. We went to go see the surgeon and their team of stoma nurses because things had just gotten soo bad. The stoma nurses were shocked by the state of my skin, which is saying something because they see everything. They’ve got me using a really odd pouching system right now that I guess is just for extreme cases. My surgeon even told me – his exact words – “you’re a little weird”! Hopefully their efforts will pay off, considering it’s a six hour drive each way for us. Blahhhhhhh. I hate knowing that what’s happening to me is really abnormal. But, one good thing that came of my visit today is I asked my surgeon about my fears that I’m developing new autoimmune problems and he said he has never heard of that happening, so hopefully that means I can at least relax about that.

I know I haven’t checked in for a good while, but I have been reading the updates, and congrats to everyone that has been making progress!

Congrats @faye on the quit, that’s a really tough thing to do but it will be beneficial to your health and lifestyle overall. I wish you the best of luck as you continue on!

@Mariah, I’m sorry that you’re going through a bit of a rough time with things, I hope things clear up for you soon!

As for me, I haven’t been up to much except for school, as usual. I’ve managed to keep my AP World grade up to a B so far, and third term is almost over already! It seems like the year has gone by so quickly, and thankfully I’ve managed to keep my grades decent overall this year. As for writing, I did quite a bit in my creative writing class last semester including quite a long story for NaNoWriMo (sadly, I didn’t quite finish in time, but it ended up being decently lengthy) and several other stories and poems.

Other than that, it’s pretty much been the same old same old.

Didn’t realize this was still going on – thanks Faye. Will be back in the loop now.

My ob-gyn didn’t contact me which means the biopsy’s results are positive. At least for the next 6 months, I don’t have to worry about the ‘cervical issue’.

Oh, @Simone_De_Beauvoir , I am especially glad to hear that!

@JilltheTooth Yeah, thanks, me too..seriously glad…

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yay! Not a time for you to be worrying about anything else with all you have on your plate.

@chyna Eh, don’t I know it!

I made progress this week on my program to improve my knee( and walking and standing).

Can you improve mine, too? It lost an argument with a Volkswagen Squareback in the ‘70s and it’s still not over it. Stupid grudge-holding knee.

* I’ve identified a masters thesis topic.
* I need to gather up the gumption to ask a faculty member to be my thesis committee chair. This week.
* This will be our third month of actively trying to conceive. This week should be fun ;)

I wanted to let you guys know that Alex found a long-term job with this awesome tech company (where he’s a computer engineer) (and had a temp job before, so for the next couple of months, he’ll be working two jobs, it’s insane) which allows me to ponder downgrading my full-time job to part-time once I start my PhD studies in the Fall.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Yay!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir So nice to now have those choices. Yay Alex!

It must be a while since I last posted. How’s everyone…?
I’m heading to Poland for a month to teach tai chi; will fly Easter Saturday. So that’s where my energy is right now, focusing on the practice.
Recently, I’ve managed to clear my week so that I actually have a “weekend” to myself (even though it’s Tues/Weds).. that’s been really important.

@lifeflame Great work!

I made it through a second week of my program to improve my knee.

I am back from a lovely vacation week in Asheville and going up on Monday to help out my son’s family while he has surgery. Cooking a bunch of food to bring up and trying not to worry. The surgery isn’t dire but I am concerned about my oldest baby..

One of my babies is moving out again. I don’t like it. @lifeflame I like it! It’s 4 months without a cigarette, my tulips are up, my seedlings are 4 inches high and the sun shone all day today! @janbb Your name should be before the baby comment, huh-she’s 27!

Surgery in the AM. I held off on getting too nervous until yesterday before. Now I’m just about shitting my pants – or I would be if that were physiologically possible for me right now, lmao. I do feel certain that everything is going to be okay, though. My surgeon is very skilled. This is going to be such a big milestone to get out of the way!

@Mariah I will be thinking of you tomorrow. Everything will go great. Post when you are up to it.

@Mariah Wishing you the very best of luck and sure that it will go well.

Good luck, Mariah!

More sloow progress on my self-improvement program.

@Mariah I know you will feel so good in a few days and then you can lay back on your pillows and just grin!

@Mariah I’m wishing you luck, I’m sure that everything will go great! Think positive thoughts. :)

@Mariah Will keep you in my thoughts.

Alex is managing two jobs and I am pretty sure that I will work part time in the Fall regardless. I’m just not sure it will be with my current job, I’ve had enough of it. I am also planning to begin the P90 exersize program next month and to get into even healthier habits. Oh and we got a white corn snake today (in my avatar) and named him Doyle.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir For some reason, the thought of a snake named Doyle makes me smile. Good luck with the healthy plans!

@Mariah Best of luck with surgery! We’ll all be thinking of you.

Hey jellies – thanks for all the well-wishes! Surgery went great. Surgeon did end up having to do an open procedure rather than laproscopic – he said this would allow him to do the best job possible. I am glad he did what he felt he needed to do – the incision is about 4 inches long now, but that is no big deal. I’m allergic to most of the stuff they try to use on me, which is obnoxious. Have been in quite a bit more pain than after the first one, although I seem to be improving faster too. I’ve been walking around a lot today. Trying to get out on Monday for my birthday!

Yay @Mariah ! Glad it went well!

@Mariah Thanks for the update! Sending healing thoughts your way, and an early happy birthday wish, too.

There’s a good birthday present, I knew you’d feel good!

@Mariah Glad the operation went well (having been away from Fluther for a while I’m not sure how long ago this was…so…) How are you doing now? Did you manage to get out for your birthday?

I came back to Fluther today, which I feel like is a milestone… there’s always a feeling in me when I don’t get on here for a while that I won’t be welcome when I come back or that things will have changed so much and I’ll be considered a deserter!! Glad I have though… just have to keep making sure I keep coming back as I love it so much here and (probably say this too often) but it does me the world of good – I feel like I have my own voice here and only here….but sometimes I get put off by the odd comment someone makes and I recluse…then it’s easier to let studies and other things take over and stay away…but I know it does me good so here I am… that was a lot of waffle…sorry

Anyway, I’ve also not been doing so well with my studies recently so I need to get back on track really, hopefully things will improve…it’s not really lack of effort…I got a bad mark and it’s floored me…my enthusiasm has gone, but I’m hoping to do well on my last two assignments and then the exam.

Other stuff… still smoking :-./ need to knock it on the head at some point
Will need to start looking for a job in the Autumn too so will be looking into doing some volunteer work at some point lol…you’re supposed to tie goals down with a time scale aren’t you…. hmmmm

@nebule Nice to see you as always.

I finally finished the LBGTQ resources page I’ve been struggling with for the library. My Department Chair was pleased with it and we will be putting it up on the library home page with a link from the Ally Program page too. A friend from another site has been looking it over and giving me feedback.I am very happy with having accomplished this.

@Mariah Glad to hear things went well! Happy Birthday!
@nebule Always, always glad to see any post from you. It really does brighten my day.

@janbb Thank you hun x Would love to have a look at your work…can the public view it or is it members only?
@chyna Thank you too xx Awww xxx

@nebule Will let you know when the link is up.

@nebule I’m glad you’re back. I think you seem like a kind soul and the world needs more people like that. :3

I got sprung today as I was hoping! Still having some issues with nausea and getting solid food in, but otherwise feel great. So far, the 6 hour car ride home has been much more comfortable than after the last surgery. Very very happy today.

@Mariah That’s great!

For some reason, I’m feeling really down and lonely today but I’m sure this will pass.

@Mariah : Gettin’ better all the time! Yay!

@janbb : Hugs to my favorite book maven, Sweetie, feel better soon!

Thanks.

@Mariah I’m glad to hear everything went well!

@janbb I hope you feel better soon! :(

@Mariah Yay!

@janbb I’m sorry, girlie. <3

Hurray Mariah! Hope you had a good birthday. Monday is my Mom’s birthday too.

(Things are looking a bit brighter today.)

Milestone missed this past weekend, My daughter’s birthday dinner F!iday. She wanted a dessert-off and so it was with way too many leftovers. I could feel my belly growing with every bite.

This morning I puked a couple of times (no more vicodin on an empty stomach for me) and this evening I got a slight fever. My parents want to take me to the ER and they are probably right, but I fucking hate the ER and it is the last place I want to be right now. Not to mention that my local hospital is completely inept. So I fought with them and they gave in; now I feel like a little shit for doing so; they only worry because they care. I’m gonna go apologize now I think.

Hope you’re all right, @Mariah. Keep us posted!

I hope you feel better soon @Mariah.

@Mariah I totally understand not wanting to go to the ER. But, everytime my mom talked us out of taking her, against our better judgement, it turned out that we should have. Please listen to your parents. If nothing else, to ease their minds. Much love sent to you.

@Mariah Hope you’re feeling better hun! x (and thank you xxxx)
@janbb Are you still on the up? Hope so…you’re a beautiful lady that deserves much happiness xx
@faye What desserts did you make/ eat? xx

@nebule I wouldn’t say on the up but I’m tottering around to try to stay on an even keel. My friends sure help, as do my kids and husband.

@Mariah Hope you’re doing better today. We went through a scary post-op night with my son a few weeks ago – not fun at all.

Hope you’re both better @janbb @Mariah. Oh, @nebule one so easy one was sopapilla cheesecake, sinful! I’l PM it.

Had a great day out with my husband in Bucks County, Pa yesterday and slept really well last night. Feeling quite chipper today.

After dealing with depression and anxiety, I’ve finally had enough. So I got on the wait list for a psychiatrist a couple weeks ago, and hopefully it won’t be much longer. My symptoms have been getting worse, and I needed some immediate relief, so I went to a doctor yesterday with the intentions of asking to be tested for thyroid issues and Huntington’s disease (another story), and to ask for a Wellbutrin script. The nurse told me they’d definitely order the blood work, but she doubted they just give me a script. I started praying right then, because I knew I needed to start meds. Well after balling my overly emotional eyes out in front of the doctor, I left with instructions for lab work, a referral to a neurologist for the Huntington’s, and a script for 75 mg Wellbutrin as per my request! God is good, and that doctor was very understanding. I took my first pill last night, so well see how this goes =)

Good luck @Facade. You are making the right steps to get help. A lot of people won’t do that.

Thanks @chyna

@Facade I know someone whose life was changed for the better with Welbutrin. Good luck on it. It takes a couple of weeks to kick in fully.

@Facade My daughter started wellbutron last January and feels much better on it. It doesn’t flatline your emotions, she says.

@marinelife @faye That’s good to hear!

Good for you, @Facade! I’m glad you took those steps. Please let us know how it goes, and also about the Huntington’s. Fingers crossed for you!

@Facade I hope you’re feeling better every day. I don’t know if antidepressants work that way, actually – so I hope you’re seeing some results.

Well we ended up making the looooong drive back to the hospital where I had my surgery. I just haven’t been able to keep any food down and was getting very weak. My surgeon checked me out and sees a small detatchment where things should be hooked up – he’s going in tomorrow to fix it, a very minor procedure. This should get me feeling a lot better fast – hallelujah! Thanks for all the well-wishes fellow jellies, I know I do a lot of dumping here and that’s not really what this site is for, I hope it hasn’t been too annoying. I am just seeking all the support I can during this difficult time.

@Mariah Glad you will be feeling better soon!

It’s looking like my library job, which iI was worried about losing, is probably more secure for next year than I thought it might be. Work has been very rewarding lately with my LGBTQ resources page proceeding nicely. Also, on the home front my older son is recuperating well from his surgery and the younger starts a dream job in a week.

@Mariah I was starting to get worried about you. Hope you’re feeling better quickly! And this is exactly the right place to get that support, so don’t you worry about ‘dumping’.

@janbb I’m glad your job and your son are both safe. :)

Guys, I’m having a down day. I wish I could feel like the end is in sight. Two out of three surgeries down, right? But it just keeps seeming farther and farther away. When my surgeon went back in to look around, he didn’t find anything at all. Everything looked perfect. Good news I guess, but it means that there was no real physical reason for all the trouble I was having – I’m just healing slowly. And now he wants to push the third surgery back because of it, and I don’t see myself getting back to school in the fall, which is all I want. I was already going to be cutting it close following the schedule we had laid out before. I noticed today that my incision is coming open a little bit, which scared the bejezus out of me; I started crying and when my home healthcare nurse arrived I was a weepy mess. I guess it’s not anything I need to be overly worried about according to her, but I don’t know, it made me feel like I’m doing more un-healing than healing and got me so upset. I am doing much better than I was a week ago – no more nausea, and I’m eating okay now, but I still just feel so discouraged and I can’t pinpoint why. My home nurse thinks I should be on antidepressants, I don’t know, maybe I should, I’d like to try talk therapy first. We put a call in to a counselor nearby but she’s supposed to be really hard to get into as a new patient. My friends will be coming home from college soon and I can’t decide if having them around is going to be helpful or if my raging jealousy towards their normal, exciting lives is going to just make it all hurt worse.

@Mariah After a long bout with illness, my mother got very depressed. We were amazed at the difference the anti-depressants made. Take care.

@marinelife That’s good to hear. I’m definitely not closed off to the idea. I just know that it’s very trial-and-error with anti-depressants, and since the situation will (should, hopefully) be resolved in a few months, I don’t know if they’d deliver the help I need in time. Thanks.

@Mariah {{{hugs}}}

@Mariah I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with all this, I hope you feel better soon! :(

@Mariah Sending you warm thoughts and empathy.

Woohoo! I have one more day of teaching tai chi in Poland tomorrow. (photo!)
It’s been quite a trip. Lovely in the sense that it’s really given me some time to myself—life tends to be so hectic at home, but here I get to do one thing at a time…

Actually, being here has made me think about quitting my job and moving out from my parents when I get home. [Probably not the smartest combo together]; but it’s really getting clear what is getting in the way of my artistic work. I’m just multitasking all the time at home; have too many roles to play. Simplify, simplify, simplify…

@lifeflame Your tai chi class looks great. I support your plan to move out and quit your job (do it in that order so you don’t have trouble renting a place.)

@lifeflame You should just travel the world, teaching tai chi in parks. Make sure you visit my neighborhood! :)

ah… i think another thing that became quite clear to me is how really i want to be home!!
home = community = where i can make pieces that are more than just about me…
but it is handy to know tai chi now; and be able to be invited to work in different places…

I have my very first therapy session today. Anyone know what I can expect? It’s at his home office; is that weird? I’m nervous

@Facade No, it is not weird that it is at his home office. Expect that you and he will just talk.

I am back on track with my knee improvement program after a week of being derailed due to moving stress.

@Facade : Don’t worry, he’ll know you’re nervous, he’ll work on putting you at ease and getting to know you. Gotta start somewhere! You’ll do fine.

@Facade Yay! It’ll be ok. And remember, if you don’t ‘click’, don’t give up. :)

I am working hard at putting some negative behaviors and people behind me. It is a struggle!

I’ve been having acupuncture to deal with pain issues. The side effect is that my sleep has improved exponentially. The pain is a little better, but I don’t know if that’s due to the improved sleep or the acupuncture. At this point I don’t care! For someone who has never slept well in my adult life without the aid of drugs, which I hate and mostly won’t use the fact that I can sleep well, now, is huge. I’m almost giddy with delight at this turn of events!

@JilltheTooth Isn’t accupuncture wonderful? After my very first treatment, the whole world looked new, colors were brighter, everything!

No kidding. I just got back and I need a nap. I always need a nap right after! Love that sleep!

@JilltheTooth Acupuncture is too expensive in my area for me. At least I have always thought so. But you sound like it’s worth it?

It really is to me, because I’ve always been a very poor sleeper. I had no idea that that would be one of the benefits, I guess everybody reacts differently, but it’s making a big difference in my outlook, especially since there’s been a lot of unexpected extra stress in my life these past few weeks. Maybe there are some schools in your area that do training? Or a Naturopathic doctor that could give you some ideas…

I finished a module today – sat the exam..hardest exam I’ve ever done.. and once again I might have some time to Fluther after many weeks of revision and hard hard work. Will catch up with everyone soon hopefully! Love you all as always despite my absence, jellies are never far from my thoughts xxxxxxxxx

@nebule Go you!

06/20/2013: Is this thread still alive? It seemed like a good idea.

This week I put out feelers for work for when I get back home, whenever that will be. The money still hasn’t run out and I keep getting gigs as a skipper in the nick of time. I really loath going back. One interesting pingback from the job search was from a group who run a big homeless shelter, a combination of about four hundred tents and portable housing units. They want a nurse with DMAT experience. I like it.

In the meantime, it is getting hot and humid on the Caribbean side of this island and the mosquitoes in beautiful Tucari Bay are getting too much, so this week I began exploring the Atlantic side for decent harbors. God, what a difference: a fine, constant SE breeze and no mosquitos. I look up to beautiful deep-green forested mountains rising suddenly from the rocky shore, home of the last of the pure-blood Carib indigenous people, the Kalinago. I think I’ll buy a chicken from one of them today. I’ve been living off conch and redfish so long, I’ve forgotten what land animals taste like. Anyway, mutually beneficial monetary transactions are, aside from sharing guitar riffs and one’s music, an excellent way to break the ice with a new people. I’ve got to dock this tub for the few couple of days and fly up to Montserrat to sail a sloop back south for an owner in Martinique. I hope she’s in decent shape as the weather has been freshening lately, squalls abound—it’s that time of year again. It will also give me a chance to visit my old friend Michael Jackson, the wandering Jesuit. Maybe he’d like to come with, he is excellent company and a decent sailor. I think he would enjoy meeting the Kalinagos as well. And it will put a pretty piece of copper in me parse.

Sweet Andrea has been complaining of the heat in Celestun, Yucatan and has been hinting that she would like to come down for a month. It would be nice, but our friendship has been so good that I’m afraid that anything more than an occasional intimacy will change it unpredictably. She is a very good person, and very attractive. So civilized. I am privileged to know her. A month is a long time aboard a 42 footer. But she would look so beautiful doing her morning asanas on my bow with all of green Dominica as backdrop. But I have been in the wild so long…

@Espiritus_Corvus your life sounds divine. I hope you don’t have to return to the grindstone too soon.

This thread has become too long and is slow to download. It is continued Here as Part 11.

@Bellatrix Thank you. If I could pull it off, I would never go back. I like this life as a sea rogue.