Have you ever endured true despair?

Yes, and what raised me from the pit was a lucky phone call from a dear friend at just the right moment and hospitalization to get me stabilized on the right medication. It was a difficult time, and I only survived due to help from the right people.

When my daughter was in the hospital with a severe asthma attack and was in ICU for 3 days and for two days we didn’t know if she was going to make it. I had to take shift with my husband and take care of my son at home and spend the nights in the hospital with her so my husband could be home at nights with our son. We only had one person who could be with my son when we would both be away at the same time. Luckily it didn’t last long and she recovered. She was about 3 years old at the time. Watching her stuggle for her breath was as painful as if someone was stabbing me in the chest. Especially when I knew there was nothing I could do but watch and pray and try to comfort her. Her brother just suffered in silence. He said all he wanted was for me to be with her because she needed me more. He was 4 and a half at the time.

Wow @Pandora brave little trooper his is.

It broke my heart that I couldn’t assure him she would be fine and to see him (a usually very happy and vibrant 4 year old) so stoic. He didn’t even cry and was concerned when I got home that I get rest so I could go back to her. When I would ask him how he was doing, he would say fine and said not to worry about him, he would just sit and watch tv quietly so I could rest. My friend said he was the same way at her home and wouldn’t play and barely ate anything. She said he tore her heart out when he told her he couldn’t play because his sister couldn’t play and that he didn’t want to worry us so not to tell. Actually the worse of it was when we were riding to the hospital and she could barely breathe. He turned around and looked at me as I was holding her and asked me if she was going to die. ( I didn’t know he understood that) He said out loud what I was afraid to even think. I couldn’t lie to him and I told him I don’t know. He quietly just turned around. The day of her release, we took him with us and stopped at IHop. He was back to being the kid who wouldn’t stop talking. He could hardly contain his joy at her coming home.

yes. when I thought I was going to lose everything I had and end up on the street late in life.

Yes, when I went through a very bad divorce.
Losing everything, extreme financial stress.

That is long over and it was a humbling experience.

Living alone in Phoenix in the ‘80s, I was confined to my apartment with a ruptured disk. I couldn’t get out of bed without help, and I had no one to help me except once a day. I remember vividly lying awake one night in excruciating pain, weeping uncontrollably, absolutely certain my life was over. It wasn’t, of course, and thank God, I’ve never suffered such hopelessness since.

Yes. It nearly killed me. I went down to skeleton size, my hair started falling out, and I’ll never be the same person again. I recovered, but barely.

Yes, but I had one mitigating fact and that was a child to care for. When I lost my first husband, I was a zombie for nearly a year, with my family to take care of me, but my baby was what kept me going.

Ok, what the fuck is “true despair”? Is there a false despair out there? I been depressed since 6. A masochist on and off since then. Now I drink. I just try to live one damn day at a time, my goal is to make it to 30. If feel if I can make it that far, I’ll be good, I’ll get to die old. That would be nice, in my sleep, & natural causes.

Pain sucks. Learning to control it is, everything. Being stoic and compassionate, is the trick isn’t it? I think everyone has it rough, everyone has true despair, but some people are lucky enough to write about it while others can’t. What gets me through each day is, I want to help do a small part, my small part to help the world be a better place to live, for other earthlings. Because as much as I hate, I love so much more.

@everephebe I put the word True in the question because there are people that exists that have view askew views on what they would consider despair, but now that I think about it, if they were that warped they’d just disregard it anyway. My bad, I guess?

No, no, it’s cool. I think I understand @Axemusica. It just makes me question what you regard as legitimate despair. I mean, I have access to running water, electricity, and get to eat each day, – which makes me pretty damn privileged, at least in comparison to, well, much of the world. I didn’t and don’t understand exactly what qualifies for true despair these days. I’m not peachy keen, does that count?

@everephebe well, don’t worry, so far all these quips seem to validate having felt despair. :) So I guess to it’s safe to say that I’m not one of these people that have this veil over my eyes.

My entire childhood was full of despair. Most of you know my story… sexually abused for 13 years, yadda yadda. The first time I ever had a suicidal thought I was only 5 years old. I had a few good years in my middle teens, and then it was back. I struggled with massive depression, panic attacks, and suicidal tendencies for many, many years. Therapy and medication have given me a new lease on life, and I am eternally grateful for that.

There was a time in my life that I was faceing 15–50 years in prison. It was from a charge of Child sexual abuse by my ex-wife.. I didn’t see my children for 5 years.
Talk about despair. I was acquitted in court, and my now ex- wife was made a fool of by my attornary.

I remember one bad night as a student when I had stayed up late studying for an important exam drinking coffee and when I eventually went to bed I simply couldn’t sleep. I lay awake and alone for endless hours in the dark trying desperately to sleep and worrying that I would be such a wreck in the morning that I would fail the exam. I don’t think I slept a wink that night but the next morning I sat the exam which I later passed. I rarely drink coffee now.