How do I let go of my social fear?

think of just being a friend and not a husband and it will become easier to talk to girls…

Well since you know that you are maybe afraid of rejection you could try to not think of that. Just go out and have fun and meet new people. Just strike up a “hi” or something.
Don’t over think things.

I’ve worked on this a bit of late; bravo for wanting to deal with it. To concur, from what I’ve learned/experienced the brain does literally ‘switch off’ in response to framing a situation ‘dangerous’. That’s where the disorientation/constricted perception/fight-flight response kicks in. Then we struggle to stabilize from the mass of stress chemicals released into the body for a while. In short, we beat ourselves up pretty good! I’ve found many ways to reverse the tendency to panic/obsess/control/disorient. Feel free to take what you like from the following and leave the rest: To learn to control the disorientations check out R. Davis’ “Gift of Dyslexia” or “Gift of Learning”. Pure gold for me. To learn to change “I must not fail!”,” I must not be rejected!”, “I should not be so afraid!” (and if I am it’s HORRIBLE!) into more nurturing self-talk ,see Dr. Ellis’ books on R.E.B.T.; to learn about good ol’ fashioned small talk check out a quirky seminar on tape called “The Fine Art of Small Talk”. Support groups have helped people overcome all manner of difficulties too.
If you find relief or discover other meaningful therapies along the way, feel free to contact me. Best wishes!

To get to hear your own self-talk and learn to change it to more positive self-talk like @I_heart_Truth has suggested, you might also look at the book Self Parenting.

First, just start out looking at girls and seeing them as being just like the guys that you hang out with. People just like you with fears and dreams and nerves. Just try making friends with some girls and being around them more.

Then you can move on to girlfriend stuff.

There are some great short-term therapeutic treatments for social phobias.

My husband and I are both very introverted..and were at times (when we were younger) as painfully shy as you describe.
I found this book useful. It’s an introvert’s guide to thriving in an extroverted world…it might be helpful in giving you some ways to overcome your anxieties in social situations.

The most important thing is to be patient with yourself..but also to take a risk. Rejection is not the worst thing in the world, and the pain of it goes away on its own. It is a challenge to open up and be vulnerable enough to let someone in to your personal sphere, and the rewards are worth the challenge. Take a small step forward, and see where it gets you.

If I said, have a stiff drink and pretend you’re someone else——not as in, make up a new persona, but throw yourself into the role of the non-socially-fearing person you wish you were——would that be bad advice?