Will you sell me your soul?
I have a friend with a standing offer: he will pay anyone $10, cash on the barrelhead, if they will sign a standard shrinkwrap contract ceding him their soul upon death. He says there’s no way he can lose—either there is such a thing as a soul, in which case, he says, he will have bargaining chips when he goes to Hell; or souls are myth, in which case all he needs to do is wait for a single seller to be “born again,” in which case sie will pay him anything to buy back the contract.
So, is there anyone here willing to sell your immortal soul to me for $10? If not, why not?
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I would but $10 really isn’t worth the trouble, and time. I hear the devil actually gives you things, like talent, I’d sell to him first.
Why not sell to both? If you don’t really believe it exists, then you should feel free to sell to any and all buyers, right?
Ha, Ha great question. i’ll have to ponder that one.
@SmashTheState, correct but if getting the $10 is a hassle, it wouldn’t be worth it, if it was money worth the hassle I’d sell it any day any time.
Only if you sell me yours.
10 quid? No. Satan would offer more.
Lol…I’ve sold my soul to a lot of people 82 (I guess when I die they all get a cut)...... Unfortunately I don’t sell for under $50.00…..So if your friend wants to up the offer we can talk….
No.I like to have someone to go shopping with. ;)
No. I like mine to be mine.
I find it interesting that so many people, both here and in meatspace, find so many reasons not to sign away their soul, all so very plausible. It confirms my suspicion that superstition is a lot more powerful than most people are willing to admit, and even the most hardened, atheistic, naive materialist will pause when it comes time to put hir John Hancock where hir mouth is.
$50.00 and you have a deal.
@SmashTheState
If I sell my “soul” now for merely 10 quid, and then afterwards a better offer comes around, I would hit myself for the profit that I lost.
Even though the soul is fictional, it would still be fraud.
Nah, I borrowed James Brown’s after he died…....yeah, I feeel good! XD
I don’t think the soul is fictional.
I probably already sold my soul. Might as well have the $10
@ragingloli It’s not fraud….It’s not my concern/fault if the buyer doesn’t read the very fine print on the “My Soul Certificate” stating “I reserve to right to re-sell my soul if I receive any other/better offers” So legally I’m covered….
It’s really not mine to sell. Besides, it is kept locked away in God’s vault of special treasures.
I’ll hold onto mine for the moment. $10 though? He needs to up the ante a bit!
I totally would. Haven’t used mine for years. I’ll even throw in my aura and my chakras for free.
Wow, $10 for free?! I wouldn’t pass that up.
It’s a better offer than this
I’ve already leased mine out with a purchase option and I got way more than $10 for it, too. If the option isn’t picked up, and if you sweeten the offer, then you’ve got yourself a deal.
On the other hand, if $10 is your going rate, will you agree to pay $10 for every one that I toss your way? There may be an arbitrage opportunity here. Send a contract for my team of attorneys to review sorry, they already sold theirs.
No thanks. I don’t own mine..God does. ;)
I believe in souls and I wouldn’t sell mine. If I was to, it might be in one of those situations where my mom was about to die a slow and painful death unless I gave up my soul.
An interesting story.
Query: Why do people devote so much energy to trying to prove that souls do not exist? Seems like a waste of time and energy to me.
Ten US dollars, by current exchange rates are £6.15, or €7.3. Really, even in these ‘austere’ times, that’s a bit cheap. As Vampires and most other traditional undead originated in Europe, I think we might be a tad more picky about a price on this side of the pond. There is also the sticky business of proving rebirth – unless we come back as the Dalai Lama, it’s a pretty long shot that the tenner would be returned. Nah, waste of effort for little reward. I’m off to suck some O negative…
I sold mine a long time ago for a pink Scripto lighter. The contract was written on a napkin. Sorry, you’re too late.
I wonder how the delivery is made?
Third option: Souls exist, but a contract means nothing. So if I have a soul, you don’t get it anyway.
I’ll still sign that contract though.
I can’t sell you something that does not exist.
@psychocandy
Sure you can. Politicians do it all the time. And people continue to buy it, too.
Yes, I’ll sell you my soul. How do we go about it?
If I felt like playing that game with your friend, I’d go for a much higher price just because I’d want my buyer to feel that it was really worth something. I’m not having a fire sale, so I’m not keen to unload it at the first offer, no matter how cheap. I can walk away from the deal if it doesn’t please me.
The soul is an imaginary construct, but so are a lot of other things that people buy and sell, such as various kinds of life advice, therapies, and religion. And of course the vendors do sell them more than once. They also tend to charge enough to make sure the customer attaches value to the purchase.
I’m don’t know if I have a soul or not.
Does your friend own any soul-extracting equipment? Because I don’t know if just saying I relinquish my soul to him is enough for him to actually have it. If I say, “Sure, I’ll sell you my bike,” I still have to give you my bike, or I haven’t sold it. Would souls work that way? If your friend doesn’t appear to have any means to extract my soul, I think I’d take the $10.
For those of you who’ve indicated you’re prepared to sell me your soul, give me a few days to contact my friend and see if he’s willing to buy them from me. If so, I’ll find a basic contract online and we can do this by Paypal. I’ll preserve anonymity, but I’ll give everyone a final tally of the number of souls collected.
…‘Soul extracting equipment’? @hobbitsubculture – would that be something like the Ghostbusters team used to catch spooks? I reckon once the physicists have isolated a Higgs Boson particle, we’ll be well on the road to portable spirit holders.
Oh, we have those already… Hip flasks, har har!
please forgive unruly laughter at own joke. Gotta find the humour somewhere – we’ll never get out alive…
Would he buy mine for $20?I really want to buy minecraft :D
I have to say, mine is an incredibly filthy sould with plenty of bad things, and I have not gone to confession in over 10 years, and never will. I’m also a complete asshole who lies and uses others as easily as i breath.IS that worth the extra?
I can’t really sell you something that doesn’t exist, but I’m happy to take your money for nothing.
@auntydeb I was imagining something like in The Golden Compass. Many of the characters have what are basically external souls, and there is a machine with a special blade that severs them.
Nice pun. :)
@hobbitsubculture – daemons? Wonderful concept. Brilliant imagery, though I prefer ‘familiars’...
I’m pretty sure I saw this on a Simpsons episode once…
@incendiary_dan – I’m pretty sure the Simpsons have most things covered by now!
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