How can I get my girlfriend to stop hanging out with and talking to her ex boyfriend?

You can’t choose someone’s friends.

You just have to trust her. If you really feel you can’t trust her, you might need to look at your relationship.

Shes cheated on me with him before, twice, but it was a while ago and she said shes not stupid enough to make the same mistake again. But her best friend is always telling me she does things so idk. And we get in huge fights about it and she wont back down on it, but its really killing me.

@mineown then it might be time to put an end to the relationship.

I don’t want to end it though, and neither does she.

I am with @theninth. Why stay with someone who isn’t 100% committed to you?

She says she is, and I want to believe her, but I do get firmer about the issue everytime we talk about it. Also, she is a couple years younger than me so I’m hoping she will come to a realization someday.

Break up with her and then dont speak to her…this way there will be one ex out of her life for good

1. Tell her she can’t hang with him or its over. 2. You can get over it and trust her. You live three hours away. So obviously you can’t give her much time. If she was fucking around with him she probably would never tell you she hangs out with him in the first place. 3. Scratch what I said in 2. If she cheated on you twice before you are an idiot to still be with here. She is a dirty slut and doesn’t love you. Kick her to the curb and find another chick that is good to you and not three hours away fucking her ex. I know you will feel hurt but it will get better. There is billions of women in this world and they all come equipped the same. You will find a better woman eventually who will treat you good and you will thank God. You will realize you were a dumbass to put yourself through that with that cheating whore. I know from experience. I had a girl that cheated on me. I stayed with her. I thought no other woman could love me because she made me feel like that. She was wrong. I was wrong. Now I know better and no woman has done me that way since and I have only had nice loving girls who truly love me since I wised up and ditched my cheating whore.

I don’t want to be without her…

I was with @theninth at first, and then with @theninth again when the new information came out.

I’m sorry – but after cheating on you twice with the guy, she loses the privilege of hanging with him. If she doesn’t respect that – then regardless of your feelings, it may be time to move on.

There are more fish in the sea – and there are probably closer fish too.

Work on yourself; jealousy is a terrible thing.

@mineown You not wanting to be without her is allowing her to do what she wants, when she wants. In my experience with these situations, people need actions – not words to get the message.

You have to decide what you want here: A girlfriend that hangs out with an ex (not to mention, an ex that she’s already cheated on you twice with), or no girlfriend at all (with the potential of finding another one that respects you. Your call.

Okay your own your feelings are getting in the way of reality. She don’t love you. she might like to fuck you occasionally and have you come see her but when you kiss her your tasting her other boyfriends dick. Move on. Her morals are shit. Your three hours away. I guarantee she aint just fucked him twice. Probably a few times a week. your not there. People like to fuck. Thats reality and animal instinct. Get your head out of the sand. There is billions of other women in this world that would love to be with a sweet guy like you. The longer you let it go on the more you hurt and the more she damages your mental health. If you like sloppy seconds then quit whining about it.

@mineown After the first time she cheated on you, did she say she wouldn’t again? I’m sure she did…being three hours away and having cheated on you twice, she really must be very amazing for you to still want to be with her…. :(

This issue is not about you but it is about her.
She cheated on you twice. You deserve to be treated better than this.
This is not about how amazing she is to be with. I am sure it is wonderful when you block out the fact that she has and is more than likely still cheating on you.
Being she is 3 hours away, she may have more than the 2 of you involved.
I hope if you are sexually involved that you are using protection or getting tested often.

In my opinion she is using you for whatever she can get. How did you find out about her cheating the first time? The second time?
Sounds like a pathological user and liar.

I would however not walk away this time, I would run like hell and never look back.

I found out after both times. I mean. It happened twice then i found out the day of the second time when i went to visit because he put her in a position where she had to tell me.

And he is also not a good person.

You could have some cinderblocks chained to his feet then take him out twenty miles in a boat in the ocean and throw him overboard. I bet she wouldn’t be fucking him anymore or hanging with him after that.

I’m totally with @seazen in his response.

You’re the only one that you can or should attempt to control. If you’d stop being jealous – let’s assume that’s possible – then you could be a lot more calm and patient in whatever she does. And if she lets you down and cheats with him, then you can take appropriate action, whatever you deem that to be: ignore it, break up with her, cry, or whatever suits you, short of verbally or physically abusing her.

People often live up (or down) to our expectations. If you simply expect that she’ll keep her word (even though she hasn’t always), then she might do that. If you expect her to cheat because she’s spending time with him, then she just might do that, too. Let her know that if she chooses him again, then that’s it between you, and she can go her own way with your good wishes. Otherwise, simply expect her to be faithful. In any case, you need to stop talking and worrying about it.

Worrying about it, being angry about it, “being firm” about it (whatever that means) and talking about it endlessly… what has that gotten you? You can’t control it, and obsessing about it doesn’t help either of you, or the relationship, and she’ll do what she wants to do anyway.

@mineown First you have to get straight on one thing. You cannot, ever, control or dictate the actions of anyone else. There is no way to make her not hang out with him.

All you can control are your reactions to her actions. She has cheated on you twice. Why on Earth would you stay with her?

You are setting yourself up for eventual heartbreak.

Dump her and either wait and see is she comes around (and refuses to hang out any more with her ex) or find yourself someone else who will be true.

If you keep on your current course, you deserve what you will get.

All you can do is tell her it bothers you. If that means enough to her she will stop.

The only actions you can control are your own. And you should be saving yourself by getting out of this relationship. She will never end it, she has her cake and can eat it too, the only person unhappy is you.

She’s a cheater, more than likely a liar, and she sure as hell doesn’t respect you.

Total strangers are better human beings to you than she is, to be honest. You deserve better.

She sounds like a flake and a liar.

If she cared she wouldn’t cheat with this guy twice and then continue to see him.

Time to nut up and dump the chump.

She’s cheated on you twice, with this guy. There is no way in hell I’d stay with that girl if she wasn’t willing to cut him completely out of her life. Obviously, that’s her call to make. But it’s your call to decide if you want to stick around and take it. Do yourself a huge favor, dude, and move on.

Please treat yourself better, move on. She cheated with the same person, twice; and continues to hang out with him, despite knowing how you feel about the situation. She is not thinking of you at all, only herself.

Odds are, she’ll cheat on you again…with this guy. Is this how you really think a relationship should work?

@seazen This skank is running around with her ex boyfriend, who shes cheated with TWICE, and it’s him that has a problem? Good call champ.

@syzygy2600: In a way, I agree with @seazen. Clearly, he does need to work on his self-esteem if he thinks she is the only one for him. Her nature has been revealed, but by him staying and accepting her behavior; isn’t he allowing “doormat” to be stamped on his back?

It sounds like she has her cake and eating it too with no repercussions from you.
You said you confront her about it and she won’t back down, so it must be you backing down. If this is such a big issue for you, I would stop dating her. She doesn’t respect your wishes and if she has cheated twice with him, she will/or has already cheated with him again.
There are lots of girls out there that would love to have a chance to date a nice guy. Go find one and leave this jerk where she belongs, by the wayside.

To paraphrase a famous quote, “Cheat on me once, shame on you. Cheat on me twice, shame on me.”

If she’s cheated on you twice with the same guy, and she knows it bothers you that she hangs out with him and she still chooses to do it, do you honestly think that’s how you treat someone that you love? Cut her lose. This relationship is dying a slow, ugly, painful death. Close the coffin on it and shovel the dirt on top of it.

@syzygy2600

Yes, it’s he who has the problem. She’s living the life she wants to, and he doesn’t like it. He can’t change her; he can only change himself. Since he’s already okay with having known about her cheating twice (at least twice), and still with her, then he’s already accepted that. So he can get over his jealousy, or let her go.

It’s all his problem. She seems to have no problems at all.

@mineown, she is stupid enough to make the same mistake again. Don’t be a chump. I’ve been there. Get your self-esteem, man up (if you’ll forgive what might seem a sexist expression) and dump her. Now. You should have gotten rid of her after she cheated the first time.

You think you won’t survive without her, but I promise you will. And you’ll be better for it.

Let’s see…she hurt you twice now and spends more time with him than you. Sounds to me like she’s back with him and is occasionally cheating on HIM with you. Have some dignity and dump the floozie. I’d rather be alone than be someone’s second choice. Is she keeping you around for financial security or something? Don’t let yourself be used. It’s too easy today to find someone better.

You can’t get her to stop. Only she can stop.

What you can choose to stop is accepting this kind of treatment.

A relationship with someone is only as good or only what you want it to be because of what you put into it. For instance, I love my sisters but we are friends because we treat each with respect and kindness.
If I really loved a man I would never want him to doubt it for a moment. I would want it to be beautiful and if hanging out with a an ex, whether I cheated on him or not, compromised that I would drop it.
Of course, if he was my ex from 10 years ago and we’d been nothing more than friends the whole time, I might think my current love interest was being a jealous prick.
Even then though, you would still respect the feelings of your man. It’s not an easy thing to deeply love someone and watch them frequently enjoy the company of someone they have shared a sexual and emotional bond with,. She should be sensitive of this. I think that is what she is entirely missing here, sensitivity.