Social Question

chelle21689's avatar

Should we just continue texting instead of talking?

Asked by chelle21689 (5128 points ) March 7th, 2011

I’ve met a guy through a mutual friend and we’ve been texting for two weeks and hanging out. We hung out three times already. Anyways, I had a sore throat and lost my voice (for the longest time!) and I finally got it back so I called him instead of texted. I remember him telling me he doesn’t mind texting at all but he also likes talking on the phone.

First phone call was awkward and forced! I was so disappointed. We threw a bunch of random topics to try to keep it rolling and bounced around as if we couldn’t stick to one topic. =\

I think I want to go back to texting now LMAO…it’s so much easier. I mean, we text back and forth every second for a few hours every night! Plus you have time to think of something witty and cute to say haha without messing up! If we can do that then why can’t we have a phone conversation? I feel like it’s also easier to be less shy…cuz he’s more flirty (me too) and make sillier jokes… but in person and on the phone it’s a different level.

I really like his personality but it is making me sad that we can’t talk! Maybe some relationships are better with texting? lol =\

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19 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Well, perhaps you should have your entire relationship by texting. So convenient. So less messy.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Relationships are awkward and messy!!!!!!!

cak's avatar

NO! You cannot live through texting!

Life is awkward. It’s part of experiencing things. :)

BarnacleBill's avatar

Well, you can’t text in person on a date. Or can you? That would be the test. If the relationship is good in person, and you can talk in person, then texting would seem to work in the interim. Some people like the slower pace of texting.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s like on fluther. I’m sure most of us look twice as good in text, and twice as witty and twice as flirty as we are in real life. Ok. I shouldn’t talk for others. But it’s true for me. Which is not to say I’m witty or flirty or look good; just that whatever it is; I’ve got twice as much of it when I have a moment to think about and compose a response. Basically, I just dash off any shit I think of and then I forget it, but still, having the two seconds or so between thought and action that writing gives me, helps me keep my foot out of my mouth about twice as often as you would find it lodged there during a face to face conversation.

I’ve grown a taste for leather over the years!

chelle21689's avatar

surely if we can text for hours with responses in a quick second each time…then we should be able to talk in person. I just can’t get over being nervous and shy… =( UGH. I never had to deal with anything like this. I was able to talk to my ex because I didn’t like him like that at first! HAHA

Kardamom's avatar

Texting is not real, it’s an image. If you can’t talk on the phone and in person, then all you have is an “image relationship.”

Reading stuff works ok on Fluther (most of the time) because we are able to give honest, unbiased opinions and keep our anonymity. We aren’t trying to have a real relationship (in the sense of a romantic relationship) with people on Fluther (although I do realize that that has indeed happened in a few cases, but it wasn’t the reason they got on Fluther in the first place) So if you are just texting, you and he both can give the best, most witty sounding answers to topics, because you have the time to think about it, edit it, change it to fit, and clean up the language. Real life isn’t like that and you have to really talk to people and be around those people to learn what they are really like (and for them to figure that out about you too).

I’m afraid that with texting, people who have never learned how to converse with other human beings, are really doing themselves and disservice and are contributing to their own social isolation and social awkwardness. Usually teenagers (at least back in the days before texting) learned how to interact with the opposite sex (and grownups) through trial and error conversations. That’s really the only way to truly get to know someone and become comfortable in real social situations.

perspicacious's avatar

You gave the reason why people in general need to talk to each other.

blueiiznh's avatar

so you are happy with keeping it like that? That is not the battle that you projected in your question. You are going to always want for more (and should) have more than text.
Some people come across shy as at first as it moves from to other levels that are not behind a curtain.
Talk more and “OMG – what a concept” actually meet the person face to face.

chelle21689's avatar

We have hung out a few times but I’m talking about talking on the phone…

Kardamom's avatar

@chelle21689 Talking on the phone should come just as naturally as talking in person. If you are having trouble talking in person or on the phone, then you just need to do more of that. Texting just isn’t a real form of one on one communication. It’s a convenience, that sometimes becomes a crutch. If you really think you like this guy, then spend time with him in person, and then talk to him on the phone. Save the texting for asking what he wants on his pizza when you go to Pizza Hut.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@chelle21689 My opinion? Stop texting him for a week. If he wants to talk or you want to, CALL each other and set up a date.

Texting does not make for a “real” relationship. You are in what should be the “getting to know you” phase of the relationship. To be followed either by the “i don’t really like you too much”, the “let’s date a bit more and see where this leads” or the “honeymoon phase”...you will not get to any of these through texting.

chelle21689's avatar

We’ve “hung out” three times already and we’re going laser tag this weekend. So we have talked in person and had fun but I’m talking about TALKING ON THE PHONE lol…Everyone keeps saying to make a date and we already have.

I called him first time yesterday, and he just texted me =\ He keeps texting so I guess maybe he’s more comfortable with that.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I get it, @chelle21689 but I think it’s a cop-out for both of you. Maybe you’re both a bit shy or socially awkward? That’s no excuse for not putting a halt to the texting.

blueiiznh's avatar

@chelle21689 its still odd to me also. I hope it gets better and doesn’t make you sad always.
Is it a “showstopper”

BarnacleBill's avatar

Ask him if he finds it odd that you communicate by text, now that your voice has returned.

chelle21689's avatar

haha talked on the phone for the 2nd time for an hour and half..went good :)

chelle21689's avatar

i hate to admit i had a beer to loosen me up! LMAO

BarnacleBill's avatar

Is this guy Asian by chance? ;-P

chelle21689's avatar

Haha, yes…? :P

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