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SpatzieLover's avatar

I have an important Star Trek Next Generation question...Please read details.

Asked by SpatzieLover (24454 points ) March 8th, 2011

Okay, so to set this up to you properly I will admit:
I am not a Trekkie, nor am I a Sci-Fi person much to my husbands chagrin

I posed a question to my husband, while he was watching a Next Gen episode tonight and I will now pose it to the collection, because his answer was a chuckle and a “wait until the end for me to address that one”...which was later addressed with another chuckle and a “I haven’t a clue”

Here’s the question: How are these people supposedly getting these uniforms on & off by themselves everyday ? I mean not every member of the Star Fleet is married or lives with someone, right? So how the heck am I supposed to believe a single person is zipping themselves up/down everyday?

Thanks for humoring me ;0D in your answers! Lurve in advance to you all!

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75 Answers

YARNLADY's avatar

In the future, with 100% employment promised for everyone who desires work, there is a job called zipper puller. This person is like a personal assistant, and their only task is to go around pulling up zippers.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Those are two-piece outfits. You pull the top piece over your head, and the bottom down like pants.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs Then why do I see a zipper on the back..even if the zipper wasn’t there, my husband said “you’re right it is a rather tight looking tapered neck”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@SpatzieLover You know how there’s this idea that everyone on every Star Trek episode of any kind, ever, is making sure all the details are perfect so that fans can actually answer questions like what today’s Star Date is? Yeah, that’s not really how the show works. They make the same goofs and half-ass stuff as every other show. In all likelihood, when they were designing the costumes they didn’t think about how the characters would get out of them, since the show does indeed have people who can zip you up.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs I was really looking for fun here. ;) My husband always wonders why I can’t get into the show. My reason is I am not a SciFi person, and I get stuck in all the small details the SciFi creators/writers seemed to over look, such as the wardrobe.

everephebe's avatar

Originally the zippers were in the front. Then they changed to two piece as @MyNewtBoobs said.

From wiki:
In the show’s early seasons, the uniforms were one-piece jumpsuits made of Spandex, and sized slightly too small so that they would be stretched when worn and provide a smooth appearance. The feel of this annoyed the cast members, who persuaded the costumers to gradually replace them with wool uniforms.[5] The wool uniforms, which all main cast members wear from the third season onward, are two-piece (shirt and pants) designs that lack colored piping on the shoulders and edges of the pant leg cuffs and have a raised collar. The collar of the shirt has a colored edge of a width similar to that of the original diamond-shaped shoulder piping. The spandex uniforms continued to make appearances throughout TNG, usually worn by extras in various scenes. These were later altered to lack the piping on the shoulders and trouser hems and include a raised collar as a cost-cutting measure.

Also I do imagine sometimes they do enlist the help of others.

filmfann's avatar

@YARNLADY Zipper puller? In the future, there will only be Velcro.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@everephebe HA! I’ve actually seen that episode you linked. My husband is a Data type human ;) so he likes that episode

Yeah, I was referencing the two piece with the zipper up the back. You included awesome links. Thank you! now I can impress my Trekkie

seazen's avatar

First of all, they are lovingly called Trekkers, not trekkies or anything else.

Secondly, there’s a whole week between episodes: this is specifically so that there will be time for the uniforms.

All other questions in PM please.

~

SpatzieLover's avatar

@seazen I should have gone directly to the Captain for this answer ;0D

talljasperman's avatar

They are para-military uniforms… the regular people are dressed normally in home planets… for all we know Earth could have gone through another Disco phase… in the 24th cent.

YoBob's avatar

I’m going with the self zipping fastener invented in the year 2186 by Flamewad Kplotchornick, famous engineer and fashion designer from planet Fabbo 26.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

I always assumed they beamed themselves in and out of their uniforms. Kinda sucks if you have to go to the bathroom a lot.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@seazen Wait, we are? Why am I always calling myself a Trekkie, then?

everephebe's avatar

@seazen Yeah, I’ve always been a Trekkie. I’ve usually thought of trekkers as people who enjoy a different form of camp.

Kardamom's avatar

I’d be very happy to demonstrate how to unzip Captain Picard’s uniform ; P

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Kardamom ;) I know how to unzip a man from a uniform I was wondering how a man would do this himself if the zipper was on his neck ;P

Kardamom's avatar

He’d call me!

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Kardamom Okay, fair enough..you win ;P

Smashley's avatar

It’s clearly a hybridization of the transporter and replicator systems. In the morning, Will Riker wakes up in his thigh-length silk robe, groggily replicates some Ethiopian coffee, or Tea, Earl Grey, Hot, if he’s feeling spunky. He sips it, wanders around his room, and eventually asks the computer to dress him. The replicator produces the uniform, and the transporter places it on the his body. The existence of the zipper is purely a matter of human taste. It’s the future, so obviously the uniforms have to be skin tight and awesome, but, to put it plainly, no one wants to be wearing something that can only be removed by a computer if the moment gets hot and heavy. The zipper is purely sexual. In the heat of the moment, it is decidedly unsexy to ask a machine to undress you. The real question is “who’s zipping Riker down?” not “who’s zipping him up?”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Smashley Riker doesn’t drink Earl Grey. Picard does.

everephebe's avatar

I don’t know @Smashley it might be sexy to announce, “Computer. Undress me!” especially in the middle of an ordinary seeming conversation. Icebreaker. However, I do think it would kill the moment if one were to walk up to the replicator and ask for a form of contraception.

“Computer remove our clothes.”

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@everephebe Allow me to guarantee you, that basically never happens. I’ve pretty much read all the Star Trek porn out there; that has never been in a story.

Smashley's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs – Obviously…

@everephebe – I’m pretty sure the shield generator has been calibrated to provide passive birth control to all women on board the ship. After all, it’s the future. Everything you could ever want is at your fingertips. With all that free time, what do you think people do in the future?

everephebe's avatar

[Giggling] Are those tears in my eyes? Ah, dear.

seazen's avatar

Ladies, ladies. Relax. There’s enough of him me to go around.

Austinlad's avatar

Mr. Data doesn’t pee.

YoBob's avatar

I’ve always referred to myself as a Trekkie. The term Trekker just never seemed quite right.

Austinlad's avatar

I’m a Dreckkie.

seazen's avatar

By the way, @SpatzieLover – for future reference: important ST question is redundant.

SpatzieLover's avatar

I wish I could give all of you special Trek Lurve. Thank you for amusing me. @Smashley You gave me precisely what I was looking for: The zipper is purely sexual.

Now that is what I will think next time I watch or step into a room when it is on.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Must Share: My husband hijacked my chair for a bit to read all of your replies. He laughed like a hyena, with tears in eyes, and got a much needed stress reliever laugh of the day.

I heard chuckles and cackles with words coming out in between:
AHhahahahahHAhahaha “100% employment” AHAhahahaha “zipper Sexual” Hehehehehe CACKLE “Earl Grey” HAHAHAH “Picard” TeeehheeehehehehAll the Star Trek porn” ohmyhahaha “Shield Generator Birth control” Snicker snort Teehehehehe….of course the egg laying laugh went to you oh Zen one for your ”important ST question is redundant” comment.

Fluther has once again been a life changer. We agreed we’d both be thinking of this thread the next episode he watches.

Next time I post a Star Trek question, I’ll have to remember to video him reading it, so I can share it with all of you ;)

seazen's avatar

“More laughs at my next thread Star Trek: the Porn Movie
(I know, I know: the title is also redundant.)”:

SpatzieLover's avatar

@seazen what do they want you to edit for? Ugh! Prolly need you to italicize the titles I had to edit this question 3 or 4 times before it finally stayed up.

seazen's avatar

I dunno. I think I caught a newbie mod.

seazen's avatar

NSFW: Would you like to help write a script for a Star Trek porn movie?

Star Trek has all but disappeared from the Tv and film universe (oh, don’t get me started on that little teen flick excuse – it makes Jar Jar Binks almost likeable.)

It may be time to start a new, different approach – one more universal and young – one today’s youth can readily understand and agree with, namely:

Star Trek porn.

Star Trek: The Porn Movie

We need titles for (likely) sequels: Full Throttle? Star Trek: Engaged? Star Trek: Oh, I made him so….

What would each character do? How would they talk?

Extra points if you do not include Troi as she is already a porn star in the original STNG. And please, no Number One jokes – they are as tedious as, well, #1.

This discussion is closed.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@seazen Star Trek: The Original Frontier.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@seazen Resistance is not futile. Just keep editing and submitting…cuz that question will have a killer thread! ;)

seazen's avatar

@SpatzieLover OOO!!!

Star Trek: Resistance is not futile!

SpatzieLover's avatar

Star Trek: Data is Fully Functional

seazen's avatar

@SpatzieLover There was an actual episode in the first year, perhaps the third or fourth segment – with Data and whatsherface, the original security officer. Wait – I’ll find it… (I’m sleepy)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Star Trek: The Virgin Files: Where No Man Has Gone Before

SpatzieLover's avatar

@seazen it’s one of the episodes my non-Trek brain remembers ;)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Star Trek: Undiscovered Cuntry.

seazen's avatar

I liked the first. not so much the second.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@seazen The second was just so obvious, I thought it best to get it out of the way.

seazen's avatar

Star Trek Porn II: Crusher – where no man has gone before.

seazen's avatar

Star Trek Porn III: The end game

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

STP IV: Data Wet-dreams

seazen's avatar

Star Trek Porn IV: Q – he can do anything.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Star Trek Deep Space Sixty Nine Thanks to this NSFW trek site[nsfw]

seazen's avatar

Sex Trek

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Star Trek: Mistress Janeway

SpatzieLover's avatar

@seazen Yep that’s the one. @everephebe Had linked it above, too.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Star Trek Deep Space: Here We Come

seazen's avatar

Okay, I’m officially thirteen again. Thanks guys. Off to work now.

everephebe's avatar

Star Trek: the Kim Cardassian Sex Tape

Lightlyseared's avatar

Some sort of field manipulation tech I imagine.

SpatzieLover's avatar

From my husband who is at work right now

Star Trek 3: The Search for Cock (Original title: The Search for Spock)
Star Trek 4: The Voyeur Home (OT: The Voyage Home)
Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Pussy (OT: The Undiscovered Country)
Star Trek 7: Titalations (OT: Generations)

seazen's avatar

Star Trek II: The wrath of Khan

Oh, was he angry alright!

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khock.

Kardamom's avatar

All I know is that I can’t wait for the pairings: Spock and Uhura (which until this recent movie, I would not have thought of, but it’s HOT, current actors and original actors Woot!) and of course Picard and Crusher, Kirk and an alien chick (or maybe Candace Bergen, yum!) and Janeway and Chakowtay, Data and Yar (him yum, her yuck!) Riker and Troi, Sulu and hmmmm let’s see who sounds good, how about Chekov? Yummo! Kim and Seven of 9. Now, imagine all of those folks, with scenarios like my other favorite show The Nanny (you knew I was going to bring it up, so just roll with it). Hot hotties, un-requited love, longing looks, ripped uniforms, isolated planets, deserted islands, un-zipping (for fun) and finally no shirts. You know you love it.

And the tile of this flick? “Where no Glands Have Gone Before.”

Now I’m going to bed and I expect to have sweet (hot) dreams. G’night.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Kardamom But no Torres/Paris, the kinkiest of them all (and an actual pairing that got married in the series – none of this sequel movie crap)?

Kardamom's avatar

@MyNewtBoobs I totally forgot about them! Paris never interested me at all, and never seemed to fit into the whole Star Trek group of folks. He just seemed more like some douchey guys that are in my real life, not a cool, hot Star Fleet officer. I could never figure out how someone like him would have ever made it into Star Fleet Academy. He was so insignificant that I forgot all about him, but now I feel bad. He can be in our movie, and also Neelix and Kes, who I always thought were so sweet together. And I’m not sure where to put Worf and Troi, I never bought their romance. It was so clear and obvious that she loved and was meant to be with Riker. But a 3-some could be pretty hot and interesting. What do you think? And what about Wesley? He was a smart, hot, cutie. But he ended up being a very naughty Star Fleet officer. Maybe he needs to be spanked.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Kardamom His dad was a highly decorated Admiral. And he starts out douchey, but then they have his character develop a LOT.
No Wesley. Fuck him and the Mary Sue horse he rode in on.

seazen's avatar

Gay Porn with Spock and Data fucking with each other minds. Who’s got the bigger brain, eh?

@mynewt what does that mean?

Kardamom's avatar

@seazen Yeah, you are probably right that Wesley just can’t be in this movie. But he sure is funny on the Big Bang Theory, just because Sheldon hates him so much. I love it when Sheldon says, “Curse you Will Wheaton!”

Did you BBT it last night? It was pointed out that both Raj and Leonard have Starfleet uniforms in their closets and Leonard had both a standard and a dress uniform. The women were horrified! I laughed even harder because I was remembering this thread!

I hope they do an episode where the guys are attending a Star Trek convention and they have a group of the ST actors on. A really funny scene would be a Q and A forum where the guys are asking them really obscure, but funny technical questions, that the Star Trek actors can’t answer (because they’re not geeky enough to know the answers). That would be sublime.

SpatzieLover's avatar

@Kardamom we always watch BBT. my husband laid an egg during that segment of the show

JilltheTooth's avatar

Katawgrey and I are huge fans of both ST and BBT…those guys are too funny!

zensky's avatar

Number one and I are very close.

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