Asking out a stranger?

Go for it, what’s the harm.

Worst that happens is you decide to shop at Target instead.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. GO FOR IT!

What should my course of action be? Smiling, conversing, flirting. If that goes well ask to coffee.

Cashiers, baristas, and waitresses get asked out, hit on, and leered at all the time. If you are going to be successful, your request for a date needs to be {a} not creepy, {b} not random, and {c} not awkward. She’s not going to say yes to a request that comes out of the blue from a customer, and it is inherently awkward to be asked out at work.

You must differentiate yourself from the horde of other men who stare at her while waiting in line, and that will not be achieved through tricks. You are going to have to treat her like a normal woman, not like another thing for sale at the store. Multiple visits, casual conversation without innuendo, and a genuine willingness to let it go if she doesn’t seem interested.

That said, I’m not trying to discourage you. I’m not trying to assume anything about you, either. It’s just worth keeping her end of the situation in mind.

Next time she gives you a receipt, ask, “Know what would make my receipt a little better? Your phone number written on it.”

Even if she says no, it’ll make her smile and improve her day at work for sure.

@SavoirFaire When I started working as a barista and waitress, I was sure I’d get hit on a lot, but it was pretty rare. It could be the same for this girl, maybe any attention will flatter her. Since you see her there a lot, chances are she’ll recognize you, which will definitely help. But I wouldn’t assume that she thinks all customers are annoying sex-crazed men.

I’d love it if a guy I didn’t know asked me out for coffee. Go for it :-)
I second @sl’s course of action!

Life is short and she might be the one you wish to spend your life with. Go and ask her the worst that will happen is she says no.

@sliceswiththings I’ve known a lot of cashiers, baristas, and waitresses. My advice is based on their collective experiences and complaints. It’s not that they assume their customers are sex-crazed, but that it can be difficult to tell who is just trying to take advantage of the fact that employees are trained to keep customers happy.

Like the lyric in RHCP song Can’t Stop

Can’t stop the spirits when they need you
This life is more than just a read thru

Don’t be shy, Ask away.
Follow your heart or your libido.
The words have to be yours.

I totally understand your hesitation. I could never ask a stranger out, either. But now I wish I had taken more chances because I’ve learned along the way that it’s better to try and success or fail than not to try at all and forever wonder what might have happened.

That is my motto. If at first you don’t succeed then suck another seed.

Asking out an extremely cute cashier as she’s checking out your stuff (interesting double entendre) is just so random. The only reason you’re doing it is because she’s eye candy. You can have a nice fantasy about boinking her. But you know nothing else other than how friendly she is as a cashier, and that might or might not be real or just something she was trained to do.

They say that if walk around asking random women if they want to fuck, it won’t be that long before one of them says yes. Well, the odds of getting a positive response from the cashier are probably highly correlated your your own cuteness and smoothness. Unless you are good at humor, so you can ask her out in a way that will keep her laughing, you probably will strike out.

If you really want her, wait until the store closes, and then, in a non-creepy way, hand her some flowers and explain why you struck dumb by her and you would have killed yourself later if you hadn’t at least tried. If she says she has a boyfriend, you just say, “That’s ok. He can come, too! It’s just coffee, dahlin’” Even if you don’t succeed, the look on her face will be priceless and well worth the price of admission.

Ok, so that’s my friends method. He’s quite successful at it. But then, he is wickedly funny and Charlie Sheen reminds me of him. Verbally aggressive, very confident, kind of an asshole, bipolar, and doesn’t give a shit any more.

But my preferred way to meet people is doing something. Then at least you know you have something in common. Having Walmart in common…. well, you have Walmart in common with half the population of the world. Need I say more? Be careful, or I’ll show you the Walmart photos. You won’t eat for a week after that!

@wundayatta if someone waited for me after a store closing, with flowers, I would construe it as creepy

@SpatzieLover Yeah, I might, too. But it seems even creepier to do it in the checkout line. Just my opinion.

Well? Didja do it?

I shared my advice with some of the women I mentioned, and they generally agreed. An addition that one mentioned, however, was to make your request for a date very low pressure. After becoming familiar to the cashier by being a regular customer (who “just so happens” to end up in her lane a lot), hand her your number at the end of a transaction and say something like, “if you’re interested, I’d like to see you outside of work sometime.” And if she doesn’t call, let it go—and stick to someone else’s lane for a little bit.

I know my advice takes longer to follow, but it’s more likely to work than other approaches.

Well, I haven’t not done it yet…I planned on doing it once, but kinda chickened out…so I’m working on a long-term plan…casual conversations each time I go through her check out line, building some familiarity so I don’t freak her out. So, when it happens, y’all will know!

thanks for te follow up. It has been a year and hope the next checking will be a good one.
Take a leap of faith and do something outside your comfort zone. Sometimes that leads you to some very endeading actions.
Pulling for you!