Social Question

MilkyWay's avatar

Why does he keep on looking at me?

Asked by MilkyWay (13157 points ) March 15th, 2011

OK,so this has been happening for a while now but now that I have loads of time on my hands to be on Fluther I’m going to ask you this question.There’s this guy that lives on my street,I’m guessing just a little older than me.He doesn’t go to college as he hasn’t taken up higher education ( I know this because my dad was talking about it with my mum,saying how high fees is affecting people etc).
So,whenever I used to go out (or still do) if this guy is there he’ll keep on staring at me.
Not in a bad way,like with hateful eyes or anything like that,but just stare.When I walk to school or walking back home he is there either hanging around the street corner or on his doorstep.He’s never said anything, neither have I but he has once smiled at me.(It wasn’t a nasty or mocking smile,it looked genuine). I feel his eyes following me whenever I leave the house and he’s there.
It’s just confusing as he’s never talked or approached me.
I know for a fact that he isn’t a criminal/dodgy type as his family is quite respectable and his father is friends with my dad.
So,why is this guy so obsessed with assessing my every move?
He also followed me to the park a couple of times but did it in a subtle way.The park is just around the corner and he came a few minutes after me.The reason I don’t want to talk to him is because I’m a little bit freaked out.There’s nothing wrong with him,as I’ve seen and heard him laugh with his mates aroun the neighborhood.
What are your thoughts as to why he does this?

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29 Answers

theninth's avatar

He’s shy.

Try saying hello when you see him outside.

Austinlad's avatar

@theninth‘s probably right. I’ve been that shy fella many times in my life.

blueiiznh's avatar

sounded ok up to the point of following you to the park. That is kinda creepy.

YoBob's avatar

The short answer is because he’s a guy. Most guys between the ages of 13 and 30 something are hard wired to think about our more basic urges on an almost constant basis. My guess is he is staring because he finds you…well….stimulating, but doesn’t quite know how to approach you, much less talk you into what he is likely to be thinking about when watching you.

wundayatta's avatar

I vote for shy, too. Sort of. I think if he was truly shy, he would try to hide that he is looking at you. It’s a bit of intrigue for him. I’m having a little trouble imagining what would go on in his head, but it is quite possible that he has a big crush on you, and is afraid to approach you. He followed you, just because he’s obsessed. It’s creepy, but I the chances that he’ll do anything harmful are not very high.

erichw1504's avatar

He wants to have your babies.

AmWiser's avatar

@queenie It also appears you are looking at him as much as he is looking at you. In other words you’re watching him watching you. Why don’t you approach him and initiate introductions. Maybe you’ll gain a new friend. Keep us abreast.;-)

Kardamom's avatar

He’s probably shy or socially awkward and has a crush on you. He also might have some type of mild mental situation that makes him not understand common social practices (like not staring at people). Ask you Dad what he thinks. If he knows this fellow’s father, then he might have a little bit of inside information.

I would be a tiny bit concerned about the fact that he followed you to the park. Let your parents know about that.

Disc2021's avatar

This question really puts the whole loosely-based saying “Men are wired differently than women” in perspective.

Uh, he likes you! He’s checking you out! He may just be too shy to do anything about it – maybe he doesn’t know how to approach you, but what you’re describing sounds like a dead give-away to me.

It’s either you’re into shy guys or you’re not. Maybe you’ll have to initiate conversation or maybe he’ll muster the courage to say something. Either way, I really dont think he’s plotting to murder/rape you, but just that he likes you a lot.

6rant6's avatar

I’ve told this story on Fluther before.

A boy follows a girl – a popular, attractive, desired girl – home from school for weeks. They are about 15. Never speaks to her, never gets close enough for her to speak to him.

One day, another boy carries her books home. Next day, the first boy comes up to her and says, “I don’t want any other boys carrying your books home.” She hands him her books and they walk home.

He was my grandfather, and she my grandmother. They were married sixty-two years before he died. And from where I sit, she was the one who got lucky.

So go talk to him; he could be a keeper. But just in case, have the police on speed dial.

janbb's avatar

He’s interested; the question is what do you want to do about it?

marinelife's avatar

He’s shy and he’s interested. Talk to him. That will break the spell.

john65pennington's avatar

You apparently do not feel any bad vibes coming from him and that’s good.

Try this and see what happens: you approach him and ask him for the correct time. If he does not have a watch, thats okay. At least this opens a conversation with him.

I say do not doubt a person, until you know that person.

Anemone's avatar

He sounds shy, but I don’t think it’s a given that he’s interested in you. Maybe he watches everyone or anything that walks by? Or maybe he is interested in you as a friend, and it’s not necessarily a romantic/sexual thing.

(BTW, I don’t mean to suggest that he’s not interested or curious about you, just that it’s not the only option.)

I’d suggest talking to him, at least once or twice, to see what he’s like and how we reacts to that. Since you’re neighbors, you could use that as a reason to introduce yourself. After all, it’s a good idea to meet the people in your neighborhood, especially the ones you see all the time.

BarnacleBill's avatar

If his dad is friends with your dad, ask your dad to introduce you. Invite the family over to watch a game on television, or for dinner.

If he’s not in school, and isn’t working full time, he probably has a lot of time on his hands and is lonely. Shy guys sometimes feel invisible, and he probably doesn’t think you see him looking at you.

awacting's avatar

It seems like he’s interested in you. Maybe not in a romantic way nessesarily, but it sounds like he wants to know you. He sounds like one of those people that admires from afar. You must be an interesting person :)

jca's avatar

let us know what happens!

Bellatrix's avatar

I would say shy too. If you have no reason to be concerned about him, try smiling at him or saying hello as has been suggested. I have always thought it is so hard for young men. Many women are still uncomfortable with initiating contact so it falls to the guy, who has this discussion has already pointed out, have limited confidence or even social skills at times. Good luck @queenie if you are interested.

ilovechoc's avatar

I think he likes you, but doesn’t dare to approach you. Maybe if you like him (or at least have the slightest interest in him), try giving him some hints.. smile at him :) although I will never be able to do that myself because I always don’t have the courage.. lol.. But maybe you are much braver than me. Good Luck! :)

ninjaapantz's avatar

Here’s a curve ball, what if he can see your aura? Since you can feel him staring at you, maybe he senses that you could be a kindred spirit.

ziegler's avatar

He sounds kinda creepy to be honest with you. Next time he looks at you try telling him to take a picture it’ll last longer.

6rant6's avatar

@ziegler Yeah, because if he’s a stalker, humor is definitely going to ward him off. Or maybe that’s vampires and garlic.

MilkyWay's avatar

Guess what happened today? I was going out for a doctors appointment and was waiting outside the door for my dad to open the car ( I’m on crutches). My dad’s still inside.
The guy comes up to me and says hello!! I was quite speechless for a second but I gave him a smile.
He asked me what my name was and I told him. He goes ” That’s a nice name.”, smiles and runs off.
Wow?

6rant6's avatar

Sounds like love. Also, possibly, lifted from a Stephen King short story. Hard to tell them apart.

emeraldisles's avatar

next hime if he approaches you, ask him what his is and see how that goes.

blueiiznh's avatar

I wonder if he is still looking?

MilkyWay's avatar

No, he isn’t :(
We’ve moved house.

6rant6's avatar

Lazy stalker. Better off without him.

MilkyWay's avatar

chuckle

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