Why is snoring shameful?

Only if you attach a shame label to it.
Nobody likes to be disturbed by a loud snorer, but the shame part can be dropped at any time.

How can you feel shame for something beyond your control?

Stealing is shameful….lol. Just try to do something about it, and if nothing works, I don’t know what to tell you lol. I snore when I sleep on my back, so I turn on my side or on my stomach.

It’s shameful because with this day and age, nobody wants to bother or disturb anyone and snoring tends to do that even if the person is a light snorer. It really is bothersome if someone falls asleep before you and their snoring keeps you from falling asleep or even worse, getting woken up by a snorer.

I feel a bit ashamed when my wife either doesn’t sleep or winds up moving out into the living room to catch a few Zs. Yes, I snore; sometimes I snore loudly. It didn’t bother me when I was in the Navy because I really didn’t care if I kept others up, but I do care about my wife.

I think it might be worse (more shameful) for women because things like snoring, belching, farting, etc., aren’t “ladylike.” Guys can snore and rack their balls and scratch their pits and “boys will be boys” but we’re supposed to be like dainty little princesses with no snot, no body hair, and no rude sounds. Or something.

It isn’t a shame, but it is a nuisance. Obviously it is very common problem. Try different suggestions for stopping it. Different people have had success with a variety of methods. Ask your primary care doctor. As a last resort, get evaluated by a sleep clinic. My SO snored very loudly. If he wasn’t snoring, he wasn’t breathing. We learned he had sleep apnea and he now sleeps with a mask on. Not romantic, but necessary.

It is just a medical condition. For which, there may or may not be treatment.

I think that the shame comes because we are not aware of doing it, and we can’t control it.

@laureth That’s certantly a part of it with @janbb being a woman, but it’s also can be shameful for guys. Less so, perhaps, but as @jerv said it can really suck to have kept up your partner. Especially to wake up to a cold side of the bed because they couldn’t get to sleep next to you. I’ve had that happen because i tend to toss a lot when i sleep, and I’ve felt plenty shamed then, even though it is likewise hard/impossible to control.

That said, there are potentially ways to fix it. I suggest talking with your doctor, @janbb. There’s a number of different things to try, if you do want to fix it.

Yes – I am working on solutions; just was musing about the shame/embarrassment part of it.

@janbb Well, i guess the short answer is just we don’t like to cause others discomfort, especially partners. So if we do, we feel bad about it. That’s about it, really. Well, and women aren’t supposed to have bodily processes, but I think the first reason carries a little more weight.

I really don’t like the use of the word “shameful”. That word implies a deliberate action. Snoring is annoying, and bothersome (I snore, and partners have told me) but it isn’t shameful .

It does carry a stigma though as Drs. have linked snoring to obesity and sleep problems. But if you’ve addressed those issues, it’s annoying, not shameful.

I don’t view the act as shameful, bloody nuisance certainly but not embarrassing. After all as bodily functions go, there are worse storms at sea so to speak.

@janbb Cheating on a partner, abusing a child or animal are shameful. A little snooring is no big deal.

I feel the same and I think @laureth said it exactly1

@faye I agree; I think there is more of a stigma or snicker factor if a woman does it for all the reasons @laureth says.

@janbb That’s sexist.

Not saying there should be, just that I think there is.

Can’t disagree with you but I’m trying to stay away from the sexism thing. A certain Simone has been trying to educate me.

@Adirondackwannabe Wait, i’m confused. Are you saying the fact that women who snore are more stigmatized is sexist, or that fact that laureth pointed it out is sexist?

Because, i agree with the first, but saying that calling something sexist is sexist is just sort of a mind-fuck.

@BhacSsylan I meant I see some parts of society still have the sexist view that it’s worse for a woman to snore but more acceptable in men. Not that it’s right.

Oh, okay. In that case I fully agree.

I used to hate when my parents snored in the living room, while napping. Then, when my children told me I snore, I was embarrassed, because I don’t like to disturb people. My husband snores loudly, but it doesn’t bother me one bit, and he says he doesn’t hear me snore.

My parents used to snore in the synagogue while the Rabbi was delivering his sermon!

@janbb

I’m detecting a hefty dose of Jewish guilt lol

Not shameful, just annoying. I hate sharing accomodations precisely because I’m the only person whose snoring I can stand.

@laureth I don’t know if it was just a coincidence, but the best relationship I was in was the one where we were both comfortable enough to fart and shit in front of each other lol.

It’s human. Both men and women do snore. Drinking alcohol can increase snoring.