General Question

dayummm's avatar

(NSFW) Why do I hate masturbating? Oh and I'm a guy.

Asked by dayummm (28 points ) March 26th, 2011 from iPhone

This is kind of embarrassing for me to talk about but whatever. I’ve been wondering this for some time now. I’m 16 years old and I’ve never liked
It. I dont know why, I don’t feel any pleasure from it or anything, and I’ve never orgasmed from it. The only times I’ve had orgasms were from dreams. No I’m not asexual or anything. What’s going on? Any help is appreciated.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

28 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

I’ve never had an orgasim either.

Perhaps you, at sixteen, have not completely matured and thus don’t have all the requisite male hormones. There is no prescribed time line for what to do when. Listen to your body. If you have the same concerns in a year, see your family doctor and discuss this issue with him or her.

Seelix's avatar

You probably just haven’t found the right method for you. Don’t be embarrassed; experiment and see what feels good for you.

Besides, there’s no rule that says you have to like masturbating.

dayummm's avatar

@Seelix Maybe, but i think i’ve experimented a lot and it feels the same.
“there’s no rule that says you have to like masturbating.” That may be true but I want to like it. Ahh i dont know what to do haha

tranquilsea's avatar

It may be because you have guilty feelings built up in your mind about the act of masturbating. I only mention this because so many people seem to.

Perhaps you should pay attention to what you are thinking while doing it or thinking about it. That may go along way to explaining what’s going on.

dayummm's avatar

@tranquilsea No that isn’t the case. Many people might think it’s “morally wrong” or whatever blah blah blah but that’s not me. I actually think of it positively since it’s been proven to improve health, make you more relaxed, and take off stress. Those are things i need, ha

creative1's avatar

Give yourself time to find your nitch with masturbation, you need to find the right rythem, right grip, hold and such.

And listen to gailcalled I think they may also may have something on not fully maturing yet, boys don’t fully mature until they are in their 20’s when they finish growing. So your body may have a little more maturing to do for your hormone levels as well to be able to make yourself get off.

marinelife's avatar

Why put pressure on yourself to masturbate? If you don’t get pleasure from it, don’t do it. It is not a prerequisite to sexual relations.

tranquilsea's avatar

@dayummm in that case you keep exploring what turns you on. At 16 you are just starting out and it may take you a bit to figure that out. Start building a rich fantasy life.

buster's avatar

Try watching porn and see if that helps or have a person your attracted to masturbate you and see if that helps.

Written's avatar

I always hated the act of masturbation. Always looked at it as a waste of time. [still do, even though I do it] Try watching porn, see if that helps.

Thing is, if you don’t like doing it, can’t do it, or anything else, just don’t do it. It’s not a bad thing to not masturbate. I don’t see what you have as an issue. We’re the same age. Our bodies are going through a crapload of changes, hormonal and what not. And that will continue for some time.

If you don’t have the need to do it, then don’t. :) It’s really that simple. Not doing it won’t affect your life. You will even have more spare time

mazingerz88's avatar

@dayummm may i venture to ask if there are people around you who may have extremely negative views of masturbation and that is killing this buzz?

buster's avatar

Look at the bright side. At least your palms want get hairy, you want go blind, and your mom will not wonder where all the kleenex, lotions, vaseline keep going and why all your dirty socks are crustier than they used to be.

Written's avatar

I actually feel like crap after masturbating, to be honest. It get’s boring after a few… years.

TexasDude's avatar

You keep emphasizing the fact that it just doesn’t feel pleasurable to you. You have also mentioned that you have tried different methods.

That leads me to believe that you might have some kind of physiological issue here, and this isn’t just a matter of you “not masturbating the right way” or “not getting the proper stimulation.”

Do you get any kind of pleasure from any kind of sexual stimulation, aside from dreams? If not, you may want to see a doctor. Don’t mean to scare you or anything.

YoBob's avatar

Hey, different strokes for different folks (no pun intended).

Like anything else, different people have different likes and dislikes. Besides, it’s much better with a partner anyway.

DominicX's avatar

I have to agree with the others that if it’s not working for you, then there’s no need to feel like you must do it. I’m not exactly sure why it is not working for you if you are capable of orgasm (though if you are a late bloomer, it could just be a matter of waiting), but there’s no use worrying about it; give it time or just don’t concern yourself with it at all. I’ve also heard of people who feel shame with it or embarrassment or something like that (and it doesn’t necessarily have to do with thinking it’s “wrong” either…)

betterbird's avatar

You probably just didn’t finish the deed. Give yourself a good whack, and it will feel wonderful.

dayummm's avatar

Thank you all for your help.

Now some people are wondering why exactly I want to. Well because I like the feeling of an orgasm, I need to take off stress, and I just want to like it.

Also I don’t think I’m a ‘late bloomer’ or anything. Maybe I am but i remember my body developing faster than those around me (facial hair, arm hair, voice change.. etc)

Yes I’ve tried watching porn. I do it frequently actually.

I don’t know whats wrong really. Imagine the feeling you’ll get after rubbing your arm for a while, or your leg or whatever, I just don’t feel any pleasure. maybe something is physically wrong I just don’t understand. I’m also to embarrassed to go to the doctor especially with parents ahh

marinelife's avatar

@dayummm If you decide to go to that doctor, take your dad aside and tell him why and ask him to take you.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Maybe you just don’t get as much enjoyment from masturbating as you would from a live partner. I’m not saying to go out and start having lots of sex, though. Maybe wait a couple of years? I’m an adult, so I feel honorbound to say “wait”.

If you’ve tried porn, it may be the “type” of porn that you’re watching that doesn’t interest you as much. Everyone is different when it comes to what turns them on. For me personally, regular man on woman porn is okay, but I really get off watching two women together.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Some part of you may see trying to orgasm yourself as silly so it’s not happening. For other people, orgasms come when they engage another person but not when solo, I wouldn’t worry about too much because that will just compound the desensitivity you perceive.

I never had an orgasm by manual masturbation until I’d been having sex for awhile as an adult and then they suddenly became easy. Give yourself time.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
Response moderated (Off-Topic)
anartist's avatar

Read Portnoy’s Complaint and laugh and you will never feel bad again.
[Unless you fuck the family dinner.]
Don’t believe nothing funny or relevant was written before 1990.

Bellatrix's avatar

@dayummm if it isn’t doing anything for you, don’t do it. I don’t know if you are sexually active but as long as everything works fine when you do the real thing, there is no rule that says you must masterbate. We are all different. It just seems you are putting undue pressure on yourself to make something work for you that obvioiusly isn’t.

Pankakejoe's avatar

The first couple of times I did it I couldn’t finish it…but then I learned it just takes a REALLY long time to actually get to the “O”! Until you get your niche and get a good feel for yourself it is gonna be somewhat tiring (depending on what shape you’re in) and maybe time consuming. No matter what is on your mind, if you go at it long enough, SOMETHING has to happen. A penis can only take so much…“abuse” ;)..before you orgasm inevitably

Written's avatar

@Pankakejoe He’s 16. Chances are, he’s been experimenting. :) A lot.

Pankakejoe's avatar

Oh no doubt lol I was just suggesting he spend more time in each session

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther