How do you get over being homesick?

First, take a deep breath.

There is really nothing that you can do except give it time and try to find the good in where you are living now.

First, make a plan for when your stepmom next comes home or you guys go there to visit her. Plan some things you two can do together and mark the visit on your calendar so you can see that it is coming up.

Then, call one of your friends that live in the town you are in and make arrangements to do something on the weekend.

Spend some time with your grandmother. Since she is in failing health, enjoy her while you can. Ask her to tell you the story of how she met and married your grandfather. Ask her about your dad when he was a boy.

You love the mountains in your old town. What do you love about where you are now? Are spring flowers blooming? Are there woods? Lakes? Birds? Think about what you like about where you are and celebrate it.

You can do this. A wise man once said you cannot change your circumstances, but you can control how you react to them. So choose to be positive.

Good luck.

@marinelife really covered it! Great answer.

Maybe you can make plans to see your friends after school… are you studying the same subjects? Maybe you can get study groups together even though you are home schooled. Are there any after school classes you can take – like an art class, or a music lesson? Something like that would help too. Also, do you have summer plans? Maybe you can find a job or something else like camp to get you excited about the school year ending.

You’re not going to be home schooled next year right? That’s a good thing… something to look forward to.

Sometimes in life we go through periods that are really low, lonely, and that makes it hard to realize that things will be better in the future. But that’s okay. These are the times that our strength shines through and we learn a lot about ourselves. You won’t necessarily see it immediately but that’s fine. You’re going to learn and grow from this and learn to accept that this can and will happen throughout your life.

Also, running away to a new or old place doesn’t make things better… the grass always seems greener on the other side, but that’s not true. Things will look up. This is an emotional and stressful time for you and it will pass. You’ve gotta learn how to cope now so you can deal with other things in the future.

I’ve copied some ideas from an organization that often deals with homesickness. You may find some useful ideas there. The ones I think will help are:

Take deep breaths.
Stay active.
Identify things you are excited about doing and do them.
Remind yourself that this is a normal feeling.
Don’t call “home.” I.e., do not try to get comfort from the place you left. It will make it worse. Focus on being where you are.
Stop thinking about it. Keep yourself busy.
Enlist the help of friends.

What Do You Do With a Homesick Camper?

Homesickness is one of the most common and most challenging behaviors you’ll likely encounter this summer. Our experience shows that almost all children miss something about home while they are away at camp. Also surprising is that age doesn’t seem to play a large factor in predicting if a camper will become homesick. The most important factor seems to be experience staying away from home. If a camper has had successful sleepovers at friend’s houses, grandparents, or with youth groups, less homesickness is normally seen.

Since it is very likely that you’ll be dealing with some homesickness in your cabin this summer, here are some tips and tricks that will help you deal with it effectively:

1. Try to talk privately with homesick campers. Crying in a public situation
is an embarrassing situation. Instead, take the camper outside of the
cabin, or away from the group when you talk. Plus, homesickness is often
contagious. If one of your campers starts crying, more will soon follow!

2. Calm them down before you try to talk with them. A camper
screaming and crying isn’t going to listen to what you have to say.
Instead, simply ask the camper to take some deep breaths with you.
Begin breathing deeply while exaggerating your breathing noises. Soon,
the camper will begin matching your breaths and calming down. Don’t try
to talk about being homesick until the camper’s calmed down for a few
minutes. If the camper begins to escalate again while talking, simply ask
them to start breathing again with you. IT WORKS!!!!

3. Keep a watchful eye for signs that a camper is beginning to feel
homesick. Times that campers are particularly likely to begin missing
home are during meals, at bedtime, early in the morning and during free
times. Catching homesick feelings early will help you to help the camper
through those feelings.

4. Keep your campers active. Homesickness causes a vicious cycle.
Campers don’t feel like doing an activity because they miss home, so then
they sit and think about home, which makes them feel worse and less
likely to want to do and activity. Break the cycle early. If you see a
camper that looks down or “mopey”, get them engaged in something
quickly.

5. Find out what a camper was excited about doing before coming to
camp. Often you’ll find that a camper was really excited about an
activity like fishing and hasn’t had the opportunity to do it yet. You’d be
amazed at how fast homesickness will go away if you just take the
camper fishing, or arrange for him/her to be selected the next time it’s
offered.

6. Tell them it’s ok and that a lot of people feel homesick when they’re
away from home. Camper’s feelings are never silly or foolish. Let them
know that it’s ok for them to miss home. It means that they love whom
ever they live with.

7. Let them know if you’ve ever been homesick. Normalizing their
feelings by telling about your experiences when you went off to camp or
college etc… shows them that you were able to make it through and so
can they.

8. Don’t tell a camper they can call home. Only the administrative staff
will make the decision to allow a camper to call home. More often than
not, allowing a camper to call home only makes the issue worse.

9. Stop talking and get busy! In some cases, enough is enough! Allowing a
camper to continually dwell on feelings of sadness and grief won’t help
the camper get over it. Instead, stop talking and get busy!

10. Pair a homesick camper with an experienced camper. Often, campers
who’ve overcome homesick feelings in the past are very willing to try to
help others. Sometimes an older sibling can help too. Just make sure
you’ve talked to him/her first to make sure he/she’s willing.

11. Don’t feel like you have to handle it alone. The administrative staff’s
role is to be there for you. If you’re not sure what to do, ask for help.
It’s not a sign of weakness. Besides, the administrative staff has
probably had a few more years of experience so their “bag of tricks”
might contain something you could learn.

First, get over your guilt. As much as your dad and your stepmom may love you and want you to be happy, they didn’t move for you. I’m sure if your parents really wanted to stay in the other state and their dream home, they would have told you to suck it up and get over it. As important as you are, the world really doesn’t revolve around you as much as you might think. And that’s a good thing, because it means you don’t have to feel guilty. If your grandmother is ill, that’s most likely the real reason they moved back. And if your dad already has the job thing worked out, that may be a factor, too. Otherwise, they would have waited until the end of the school year to move.

You’ve just moved back, so the routine is not really set yet, and being home schooled, and your dad being at work, you probably have too much time on your hands to worry about things, so it seems bigger than it really is. The strangeness will wear off, your friends will get used to having you back in town, and things will fall into a new routine after that. There’s only 7–8 weeks left until school is out for the summer.

Your dad should be figuring out how to manage your mother so you can see your brother.

What you said about your stepmother was very sweet, and I’m sure it would mean a lot to her for you to put that in a letter. Tell her how much you appreciate her, and miss her.

I know how sad and depressing feeling lonely can be. You will feel better I am sure of it. Home sickness is usually very intense for a few weeks, and then as you begin a new routine you will feel better. Is there a sport or dance class you can take that will get you out of the house and interacting with other people?

I agree with @BarnacleBill most likely your dad and step mom had their own reasons for moving. Were you in regular school in your old state? If so, then pretty much I say for sure there were many other factors for the move, because most parents prefer to not move during the school year, especially not in the middle of a term. Try not to feel guilty.

Can you tell your dad you feel homesick and guilty, or your step mom, so they can reassure you. Can you plan an easter break trip back to visit your step mom? Or, is she comin to visit maybe? Then you have something to look forward to. His moms health failing sounds like it might be a very big factor, more than that you were unhappy in the other place. You being unhappy might have made it easier for your dad to do what he thought was the right thing to do regarding his family.

Each place you live will have things you like. When someone moves a lot, there is always something to miss, like the mountains, but something to like about the new place. Can you tell us some of the good things where you are now? Sometimes focusing on what you like can really help. Writing those things down.

Also, that you cannot tell your real mom is a huge burden for a young person. Lies and secrets for everyone weigh heavily on our minds, let alone someone who is still in school. Do you want to be able to tell your real mom you moved back? Or, do you agree it is better not to talk to her?

If you really begin to feel like you might hurt yourself because you are so sad, promise us you will talk to someone, don’t do anything rash.

It sounds like everything you know has been turned upside down. I am sorry you are going through this sweetie. Homesickness is a horrible feeling and I wish I could say, give it a week and you will feel better but it would be a lie. You will start to feel better though when you start to make some new friends, and put down some roots where you are. Will your step-mum come back for visits regularly? It sounds like you are close to her.

When I first came here, I missed my family, my partner and everything seemed ugly and different and I hated it. Eventually, I went back and I realised I actually loved the place I had moved to but I had been so busy missing my original home I hadn’t really looked at the new place. Give it time. You will always love where you came from and may miss it very much at time and it really does feel hollow when those times hit you, but things will get better. You will get used to where you are now and I hope your step-mum will be finished with her studies soon and can be home with you. Let us know how you go.