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Jude's avatar

Do you act out in anger, when you can't control things?

Asked by Jude (31993 points ) April 5th, 2011

I don’t mean get physical, I mean emotionally – you’re being negative.

If so, why is that?

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20 Answers

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

If I don’t think it through sometimes I respond in a negative way. If I take the time to think, go over things, it helps me behave better.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I don’t think so, no. I am a little bit of a control freak, but I don’t think I’m an angry person in general. It takes a lot to piss me off. I tend to turn that kind of frustration inward, which usually leads to depression or feeling defeated.. not anger.

Seelix's avatar

Sure. I think it’s a natural response to frustration. Think of a little kid who’s frustrated for whatever reason – what will she do? Cry, stamp her feet and yell. Until we learn how to better deal with our feelings, that’s how we instinctually respond.

We’re able to better deal with frustration and lack of control as we get older and learn to know ourselves better, but I really think getting angry is totally natural. Not always appropriate, and of course it’s better to act rationally if it’s possible, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just being mad for a while now and then.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Occasionally… :P

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

If I can’t beat some ass,then it’s good to vent.I don’t like to restrict my feelings because it…..causes anger XD
I don’t feel pressure to be “Sweetness and Light” 24/7,even though that is my middle name

Judi's avatar

No. I learned a long time ago that I may be able to set a trajectory, but I can’t control the ride of this spaceship. I’ve learned when to sit back and enjoy the ride. Surprises and all. (then again, I’m old. )

Cruiser's avatar

<<Raises hand>> I do it and it seems to happen when I am overwhelmed and not so much not in control of “things” but my own temper.

Meatloaf ain’t got nothin on me when I get mad. ;)

aprilsimnel's avatar

No, I push it all down and sabotage myself somehow later.

Although once, I did unleash a “woman scorned” bit on a guy who openly deceived me about his feelings to get what he wanted who immediately dropped me like a hot brick afterward. I let him have it in public, too. Granted, we were both quite young at the time, but I was so angry about being lied to, I didn’t care if I looked like a harridan or not.

rinn's avatar

yes. along with the anger i sometimes feel panicky too and i have absolutely no idea why it happens. im learning to bite my tongue but it takes a night of sleeping on it for me to be able to think rationally about the whole thing and not jump to conclusions, im quite an emotional person though anyway and friends tell me that everything im feeling shows on my face. not sure if thats a good or a bad thing though.

wundayatta's avatar

Do I get angry when I can’t control things? I’m not sure if I understand this. If I can’t control it, how would being angry help the situation? I suppose it could scare people into giving me what I want. I know some people who do that. They may win in the short term, but they lose in the long term because I’ll never have any respect for them again. I interpret anger as a lack of self control and a sign of inner instability.

I think anger is a tool to be used strategically. It’s kind of like releasing an H bomb. I would have to think that things are all over, and there’s no point in holding back. Even then, I’m not sure I would burn my bridges.

When I get angry and I can’t control it, I take myself out of the situation. Take a long walk. Consider the possibility of never coming back.

I think anger is based on fear—usually fear of loss. It’s also about a fear of not getting your way, when you really had your heart set on it.

gailcalled's avatar

Old history. It took a while for me to learn that my anger hurt only me and did nothing to diffuse the situation, make my opponent, enemy, interlocutor rethink or change his position. A hard but important lesson.

A wonderful tool for parents to teach their children… how to deal with conflict, anger, fear or the other negative emotions in ways that might be effective and not eat up the lining of your stomach.

My mother’s trick, when she was angry at my father, was to stop talking to him and use me (a pre-teen) as a go-between.

After he died and she was dating, she used to run away (go to some nice Inn in the country) without telling her boyfriend.

marinelife's avatar

I try to catch myself when I am acting out these days. Usually, I am successful.

Most of the time my anger is fear- or anxiety-based.

tinyfaery's avatar

Haha. When I get to that point, I cry. I get so angry at my impotence I cry so at least there is something I can do.

DominicX's avatar

@wundayatta

“If I can’t control it, how would being angry help the situation?”

Well, that’s the rational approach to it. :) People don’t always act that way (and I often find myself getting angry if I’m in a bad situation that I can’t control).

cliofaye's avatar

I act out in anger when ignorant people surround me lol

Scooby's avatar

I never set out to control anything, if things aren’t going my way I take a step back, chill a little then head straight back in with a different approach….. That’s just me though…….. :-/

YARNLADY's avatar

Not anymore. I used to when I was younger, but I finally (around age 35) learned to be patient and respond rather than react.

BarnacleBill's avatar

I used to, but stopped a long time ago when I realized it didn’t really work. It doesn’t work when people pull it on me, and it didn’t work when I pulled it. It was a learned behavior from my parents, who equated anger and control with authority.

faye's avatar

You bet, when mechanical things won’t work, I feel crazy! I did lose it at a car lot in my 20’s and my car was fixed pronto!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Every once in a while but I know that I’m doing it and it doesn’t last long.

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