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john65pennington's avatar

Should I "tip" the minister?

Asked by john65pennington (29057 points ) April 6th, 2011

My mothers funeral is today. In her later years, she did not have a church that she could attend regularly, because of being a cripple. The funeral home has a minister that will speak at her gravesite. Question: should I tip this minister or not? If so, how much and is this proper etiquette?

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17 Answers

mazingerz88's avatar

It should be more of a donation in my opinion.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

Yes, the family should tip the minister. If you are the one in charge of the funeral, that would fall on you. It is customary to give a donation of between $50 and $200. It really depends on how much the family can afford and what you think their participation is worth.

I worked at a cemetery and funeral home for a couple of years. Some families could not afford any gratuity at all, but those that could did give even if it was a nominal amount. Sometimes (not frequently) it was written into the funeral home or cemetery contract so it could be paid over time with the other funeral expenses.

I am sorry for your loss.

john65pennington's avatar

optimistic, thanks. At least now I know what I need to do.

bkcunningham's avatar

@john65pennington my sincere condolences. I would ask the funeral director. Again, I am sorry for you loss. I know from reading your posts, she’d been ill for some time. I hope you have many wonderful memories of your Mom.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I actually never thought of tipping the minister for a funeral – only for a wedding. Of course, I have never been in charge of a funeral, so that is good to know. Sorry for your loss, @john65pennington . I am dreading the day that I will have to let one of my parents go.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

Please check with the funeral home to see if payment has already been arranged for the minister as they were the ones who would set it up. Like I said before, that did not usually happen where I worked; however, we did have a list of ministers and priests to call if the family did not have a church they regularly attended.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

When my grandparents passed away, the rabbi of the synagogue my parents attend officiated at the funerals. We made a donation to the synagogue fund that supports mourners (e.g. people bring them food, help with some chores, etc.)

marinelife's avatar

I agree with @optimisticpessimist on the range and the gratuity.

WestRiverrat's avatar

I agree with @optimisticpessimist and @bkcunningham check with the funeral director they may already have taken care of that for you.

chyna's avatar

Yes. I gave the minister 100.00 after mom’s funeral in an envelope with a card of thanks.

kitkat25's avatar

It would be a very nice gesture to tip the minister. I think that most people tip between 50 and 100 dollars for a funeral service.

bkcunningham's avatar

@john65pennington, I’m sure it was a tough day. I hope you are doing okay. Best wishes my friend. I’ve been there and done that with my mom. It isn’t easy. It gets better though. Hang onto your happy good memories buddy.

john65pennington's avatar

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. This has been a really tough day. For the last 5 or 6 years, I have been there for her,,,,through thick and thin. My lovely wife has also been so supportive. This is exactly what I have been telling my children for many years, to find and make as many good friends as possible. Good friends are priceless. My mom is gone and I do miss her. I know she is with our dad, now and that helps to ease the pain.

I did tip the minister. He presened a heart-warming service that I will always remember.

You only have one set of parents…..love them for as long as possible. john

jazmina88's avatar

@john65pennington my thoughts are with you…...

optimisticpessimist's avatar

@john65pennington I am glad to hear the service went well. My thoughts are with you. My grandfather passed away right before Christmas and I know this has been hard on my dad.

jengray72's avatar

Yes, a contribution should always be made to a minister for any formal ceremony performed: baptism, wedding, funeral.

filmfann's avatar

I gave the minister $100 at my mother’s funeral. I don’t remember considering it to be a tip. It might have been a set fee.

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