Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Is this a case of sexual fraud or rape or something else?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (21731 points ) April 9th, 2011

You have ”Blain” who always practices safe sex with his g/g of 8 months ”Julie”. Julie really love Blain so she believes and do not want to ever lose him to him to any of his exes. She invites him over and they have drinks and get freaky, the 1st part of the night all goes well and he uses a condom. Later for round three she keeps plying him with hard liquor which he don’t usually drink and get him pretty wasted, she then has sex with him without the condom on purpose because she knows she can get pregnant; and she does. What becomes of Blain? If he
• Doesn’t want to be a father is he on the hook for support?
• If he wants to be a father is the only way to get custody is to file charges against her for rape?
• Even though he did so willingly more or less does it count as rape even though he was too wasted to know if he was practicing his usual safe sex or not?
• Could he sue her because she knew he always practiced safe sex and violated his wishes when she got him drunk enough?
• In spite the fact she took advantage of him drunk or not he is just screwed?

What do you think the most likely outcome would be?

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15 Answers

cazzie's avatar

He could try filing charges of rape.

But biologically, it’s a hard (pun intended) claim to make that he was too drunk to know what was going on. If he had been as drunk as he claims, he wouldn’t have been physically able to do the deed.

The truth of the matter is, he did the deed. Sex gets people pregnant. Alcohol impairs judgement. The story of young fools who drink and have sex is age-old. He is responsible for getting the girl pregnant. Plain and simple.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Most likely he would be SOL.
That doesn’t necessarily mean that I agree, because if the tables were turned, it could be a completely different story.

cazzie's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf the tables couldn’t be turned in this case. If she gets pregnant and doesn’t want the child, she has the right to terminate the pregnancy.

I think it’s a horrible evil thing to do if this was some sort of spiders web trap she did set for him. It’s also one of the oldest, dumbest tricks in the book. He was pretty stupid and she was pretty evil… and now, stupid and evil are going to have offspring. Ick.

Seaofclouds's avatar

He could try to file charges of rape, but it would be hard to prove and I don’t think he would get far. I disagree with @cazzie about the physical aspect of him being able to do the deed while drunk because all that he would have to do is get the erection, she could do the rest. As long as she was able to get him aroused and make him orgasm, it would be possible (even if he was really drunk). Honestly though, by the third round (in one night), his actual semen count would be pretty low and it would be harder for her to get pregnant at that point than if it was the first time for the evening. That is why they tell couples that are trying to conceive to do it every other day so that the males body can reproduce more sperm.

Personally, I’d see him having more of a case for assault than for rape. Yes, alcohol diminishes ones capacity to consent, but I don’t think that alone is enough to look at. How much was she drinking while this was going on? If they were both drunk, I imagine that neither of them would be able to consent.

As far as being on the hook for support, yes he would.

As far as getting custody of the child. If he wanted sole custody, he would have to prove her as being unfit, something which is actually pretty hard to do. I don’t think taking advantage of him in order to get pregnant would be enough of a case to say she is unfit to be a parent. If she has done nothing else to be determined unfit, I think the best he could hope for would be 50/50 custody.

jca's avatar

@cazzie: I think @ANef_is_Enuf says “if the tables were turned in this case it cold be a completely different story” meaning if it were a man getting a woman drunk and having sex with her he would be seen as the bad guy…....at least, that’s how I took what @ANef_is_Enuf meant.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

1. He would still be on the hook for support if she had the baby.
2. He would need to prove she was an unfit parent somehow.
3. He would probably have a difficult time proving rape. @jca and @ANef_is_Enuf pointed out it would be rape for a woman if the tables were turned, but I think this is one of the areas in law where it swings in favor of the woman.
4. Legally, I do not know if he could sue her, but it would be an interesting, possibly even ground-breaking, case.
5. He is just screwed (literally and figuratively.)

The most likely outcome, if she had the baby, is he would be ordered to pay for support and could get joint custody or visitation as long as he was a fit parent.

cazzie's avatar

@optimisticpessimist the sex was consensual. It was the lack of a condom that is in dispute. Now.. if you live in Sweden, and had unprotected sex with Julian Assange this could see the inside of a courtroom. But the sex was consensual and if the tables were turned, her argument could be that he didn’t use a condom, but that’s not rape and I don’t even know if there is any law on the books in the US that would even define that as assault. Perhaps there should be, though.

john65pennington's avatar

This situation sounds like “date rape”, but in reverse.

Just think, if poor Blaine had not been there in the beginning, you would not be asking this question.

Blaine will not have a defense. The alcohol is no excuse. This is like a drunk driver involved in a traffic accident and killed an innocent person, The alcohol is no excuse in either of these situations.

optimisticpessimist's avatar

@cazzie A woman can be considered too intoxicated to consent and that makes it rape when it happens to a female; however, I do not know if this has been successfully tried with the genders reversed.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Yes, that is what I meant.
And, yes, as far as I know the law recognizes that a person can be too drunk to consent. The absence of “no” doesn’t necessarily mean “yes,” unless I’m mistaken. Which, as @john65pennington points out, usually falls under date rape. I just don’t think that a man would have the same leverage as a woman in this situation. No specific reason to think so, just an opinion.

bkcunningham's avatar

Round three with someone wasted? He may have been in the show, but I doubt he could finish the performance.

filmfann's avatar

Okay, you couldn’t prove rape, because they had sex earlier, and the guy completed the exercise. I am not saying it isn’t rape, but that you can’t prove it.
The girl is preggers. She can abort without his approval. If she has the baby, and wants to put it up for adoption, he can block it by demanding a paternity test. If she wants to keep it, he can demand a paternity test, and be involved in the childs life. She can also list him as the father on the birth certificate, which would force him to pay child support.

flutherother's avatar

In four or five months time when Julie announces she is pregnant Blain won’t even remember how it happened. If he is suspicious a DNA test will prove he is the father and he will assume it was an accident. This isn’t the best way to start a family and I wouldn’t recommend it. The father and mother should agree on what they want beforehand. It takes a lot of commitment to raise a child.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@john65pennington This situation sounds like “date rape”, but in reverse. Has there ever been a case of “reverse date rape” where a gal essentially stole his sperm when he never intended for her to have any?

@ANef_is_Enuf _I just don’t think that a man would have the same leverage as a woman in this situation. _ So much for NOW feminist equality…...

@cazzie If he had been as drunk as he claims, he wouldn’t have been physically able to do the deed. I have seen plenty of cases where the guy got drunk and forced himself on a female or a child, erousal and erections were not still there even if the logical judgement was snowed over by booze.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think it is rape and it’s heinous. I think he shouldn’t have to support that child (even though, sadly, it wouldn’t be the child’s fault) and even if I think these things, our screwed up gendered justice system wouldn’t agree with me.

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