How do you credibly persuade someone that you are a good lover?

A highly detailed description is what would be a credible approach. Words are very powerful foreplay and works for me quite well. ;)

Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words so I would just throw them to the floor and make them scream. XD

Six words sum up this question….................

“The proof is in the pudding”.

Lucy, what an answer.

First off, I think what makes a good lover is subjective and varied by each individual, but I believe I subconsciously judge whether someone would be a good lover by the following:

- How they carry themselves (stance, gait, visual confidence)
– Their willingness/ability to dance
– Comfort holding eye contact
– What they do with their hands while talking
– Hygeine
– Their ability to listen and pick up on visual social cues

Not sure why, but these are good indicators for me…

@lucillelucillelucille There isn’t a better answer than that. XD

@lucillelucillelucille and all those who like her answer—and what would you do if this person avoided your attack, and ran, because they did not want to get involved until they were pretty sure they would like it? Seems that men turn down offers just as much as women.

@missafantastico hit the nail on the head. Be self-confident, outgoing, not afraid of physical contact. Be clean and well-dressed. Be flirty and dress flirty without dressing slutty. Keep hair and nails done. Be playful. You know how to work it, girl! We all do!

In the online book known as The Art of Approaching a Women, some themes stand out that include being cocky/funny, challenge the pursued to step out of their box and showing youself as prizable. I didn’t read the book but followed the email blogs years ago. Although this is material used by pick up artist, there are so many insights that regular guys could use in a respectful context of relating to the opposite sex, such as understanding body language ect.

@wundayatta—They can run but they cannot hide.LOL!
C’mon! If someone turns down a sexual advance,then leave them alone! It is not hard to figure out.
As for me,and most of my friends,if a man wastes time with a bunch of bullshit lines and tries to talk you into sleeping with them, it is a complete and utter turn off.
I had a friend tell me a date asked her permission to kiss her goodnight! She walked in the house and shut the door.I can’t blame her! LOL!
A man that knows what he wants and goes after it with confidence is hot,hot hottttttt!Swoons
Manly men rule, not smarmy,conniving sweet talking bullshitters.That is weak.

Suggestive flirting worked for me.

Understanding body language so your not pursuing someone who is not interested is the first step.

Let me add a little more about the material I sighted. It is quite opposite of what most people would think. Like teaching about knowing the difference between someone who is interested and someone who is not (ie the body language). Another thing it teaches is being up front about who you are looking for or what your doing, whether that is friendship, relationship or only physical, bull shit waste everyones time. It talks about how women like confident funny men (“cocky/funny”), not funny men that aren’t confident. The prizability part talks about believing, acting and being worth it. It talks about how women get bombared with offers in various degrees of weak deliveries (like “can I kiss you”) and in realizing that alone, a man can know the importance of being confident about what he is asking for or offering.

This information is like anything, it is as good as the intent of the user. It can be used for bad (manipulation) or it can be used for good (establishing a long term relationship or connected two willing interested consentual adults for something more physical).

There is a lot in there that regular guys could use in a dignified way. For example it is what the movie Hitch is based on.

This all circles back to your question, it is about the aire that you present.

Here, you all can be the judge link

Most women over the age of 18 in this Country have heard it all before. Action, not necessarily talk, is the key. And @Season_of_Fall is correct about most women liking men who are confident and who have a sense of humor.

As they use to say, “The proof of the pudding lies in the eating thereof!” LOL!

@lucillelucillelucille In the article, it says that men shy away from women who ask them, because they think they are unsafe. So if you went after someone you really wanted that way, you might push them away right fast. Contrary to popular belief, men are discriminating. They won’t take just any offer.

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The cocky funny business is fine, and that might attract a woman, but there’s still one step further that it seems you have to take, and that is to get the woman to believe you would be a good lover—as in knowing what to do to please a woman, and being interested in doing it, since women, like most of us, want to be wanted. Pursued. With passion.

Maybe the funny cocky thing is enough, but it seems to me there are ways to tell her (or for her to tell him) that you are a good lover, without being graphic. Using the funny thing, so to speak. I’m wondering what people have used. Or maybe no one does that. Maybe flirting is enough. Just the hint of a suggestion. Maybe that’s all that’s necessary. Is just saying something—in the right flirty context, of course—like “I know my way around a mattress,” enough of a hint? Say no more. Say no more. Is it believable, or does that even matter.

@wundayatta -As I said before,it is action,not words that would make me think a certain person might be a good lover.
If they were to spend any time talking or trying to convince me of their sexual prowess,I would either be laughing or running or barfing,or maybe even all three at once XD
but in no way would I be sleeping with them.Ever

@lucillelucillelucille Ah. Perhaps I should have specified that this is over the internet, not in person. Or maybe the phone.

I do agree with you about in person. The proof is in the pudding.

Let me stop quoting something and speak for myself. How to communicate being a good lover, well it very much depends on the context of where these people are in a relationship.

If it is to the point of kissing or close dancing I think that would give the other person a good window of the others, let’s say abilities. It’s not that simple or one dimensional though, it’s not abilities, its strength and selflessness and the ability be present to what the other person is experiencing.

But let’s go a step back, let’s say little to no physical contact is made, and then it would be about strength and presence and body language, put forth in an absolute confidence. Obviously certain eye contact communicates load and clear. But this all assumes the pursuer is adept at determining that his or her interest is being reciprocated.

If this is over the internet or the phone than it is all in the advance of the subject matter playing out with a mutual up the ante so to say volleying back and force. If done with not only confidence but a keen ability to sense if the other person is with them in where they’re going than is goes somewhere.

But it still boils down to confidence in whatever means of communication are used.

@lucillelucillelucille and @wundayatta

Gotta love dat puddin’! : D

Ouch, spelling – “loud and clear”

A link to my reviews?

@wundayatta -Internet or phone…
Hmmm.Well in that case ,I would be inclined to disbelieve most of what I hear on the internet or from strangers regarding their amazing performances in the bedroom.<Shrugs> XD

Get the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend on the phone for them?

There’s no way to persuade someone that you’re a good lover. Like others have said, the proof is in the puddin’, Puddin’. And I need me some puddin’ at least a few times before I’ll pass judgement.

So, without actually having slept with someone, what would you do to persuade them you would be a good lover?

I never do that. I never try to persuade anyone that I am a good lover because I am not interested in attracting anyone that way. I want guys to like me for other reasons. I never dress sexy or provocative. When I meet a guy sex is never on my mind. Sex and sexual thoughts come to me after I am attracted to him in other ways, either because he is really handsome, very intelligent, funny, well traveled, has great education, has money, etc. If I like him and he likes me, it is then that sex comes to my mind. But, I am the type of woman that has to have a little bit of a feeling for the guy before I can have sex with him. And there is no formula for me to consider someone a good lover. He doesn’t have to do this or that, just be emotionally in tune with me is all I really need. Then, I don’t really have to persuade him I am a good lover because by then he can find out by himself.

If I however, wanted to insinuate myself sexually to a guy, I would wear tight clothes and probably high heels. Play with my hair, look at him straight in the eye, big smile, sit really close to him, whisper in his ear. I’d do all the things that unmistakably show him that I want him in a sexual way. But no thanks, I’ll pass on that.

“No, I understand you don’t want to take my word for it. Here, call my ex-girlfriend. I understand she can almost talk again, now…”

@lucillelucillelucille Yeah, I’m inclined to disbelieve all things that seem like bragging. But I do think there are subtler approaches and I do think I could come to believe, without ever even seeing someone in person, that they are a good lover. I think there are ways of showing what you are like in words that would convince someone else of it, and you don’t even need to talk directly about sex. Of course, I could be overestimating my intuition, and I’ve never really had the opportunity to see if my guess was accurate.

Surely there are people out there who have made such guesses and have had the chance to see if they were right or wrong.