@trickface For me, vagina is too clinical. It’s like a piece of meat. One wouldn’t remember what a piece of meat looks like, I think. Pussy, for me, is very warm and affectionate and appreciative, so that’s my preferred term. Obviously things like cunt and other derogatory terms are derogatory, which is not how I feel at all. They think that pussy is obscene, so I changed it to private parts, which is, of course, a euphemism for prudes and isn’t the preferred term for this question, where emotion is an important part of the meaning.
Of course, others have different associations with different terms, but in truth, this question isn’t really about pussies at all. It’s more about memory and the ways we remember things that are special to us and the different ways we get information about the things that are special to us. Of course, if I had known that when I wrote the question, I would have phrased it that way.
It just surprised me that I had no visual memory of something I was intimately familiar with. Perhaps there are other kinds of things where we do not have visual memories of things we normally associate with visual perception.
I do not mean this question to be provocative or puerile. Nor jejune. This is just a surprising realization I had and I wonder if others do or don’t have a similar experience, and in general, what their relationship to this part of a woman’s anatomy is.
I think that a lot of men just see it as… well, like a piece of meat. It’s just something that is a means to an end, then end being orgasm, of course. I would hope that men see it as a revered symbol of the pleasure one can have with a truly intimate relationship with a woman. I don’t just mean intimate in terms of sexual intimacy, but the much larger intimacy that sexual intimacy can symbolize or express.
Porn tends to depict sex without context. There is no real relationship between these people in most movies. It’s just parts moving. There is some porn that gets at more of a relationship between the people. Sometimes the guy will pick up the supposed stranger on the street and seduce her. Sometimes the photographer will put an add in the paper and then seduce the applicant. Sometimes there are even women who sound like they really are having fun, not just faking it.
However, between lovers who actually love each other, there is an entirely different context. There are strong feelings that send energy racing through their bodies. They gaze adoringly into each other’s eyes and they literally can not think anything negative about the other. For them, sex is the physical expression of all those feelings. It allows the need to do something about those feelings reach a discharge (literally and figuratively) that relaxes and calms… until the next time the energy builds up.
I think that in this type of situation, when people get physically intimate not just with straight sex, but also with their mouths being all over each other’s bodies, that you would get a very intense memory of their body. A visual memory. What I have discovered is that my memory is not visual. I is more kinetic and olfactory. I can remember the smells and the feel—the plasticity of her skin, the scent of her vagina and her sweat, the reaction I get when my beard rubs her neck—those kinds of things. But the closer I get to her pussy, the less I remember visually and more other feelings seem to be what stand in the place of visual memory.
I find this odd, especially when I want to remember something visually and I can’t. And even though I know this, I can go back with the intention of looking, and still the same thing happens. Almost as if I can’t have a visual memory. I suppose I am too much in the moment to remember any intentions I had before. ‘Tis a quandary.
Does anyone else have that same quandary? I don’t know. Perhaps people are unprepared to speak honestly about this. Perhaps it seems too personal. Perhaps it makes people uncomfortable. I hope that if people focus on the issue of memory of something they care about greatly (I hope), it would be easier to talk about it.
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