A dark place where you can’t see anything, where everything is made of metal, and rivers of blood flow under grated floors. Kind of like the alternate dimension of Silent Hill, but without any mannequins coming after me. I like imagining myself walking around and exploring, but essentially there’s nothing to be found, no goal to achieve, just a cool place to be when I like, need to be emotionally alone or some crap. That this place has no purpose other than being a mental haven is what makes it interesting, because despite that I know there’s nothing to be found, I always keep thinking I will. I go there to be alone, but I’m ultimately curious about what I could find, which is nothing.
Another place I like to go to is the frozen eighties, or so I call it. It really has nothing to do with the eighties though, there is no relation to that time period and my imaginary world much, because I was too young in the eighties to really remember anything in detail about the style and culture.
What this world is built of is what is presented in horror movies from the eighties, usually the imagery, the decors, styles and fashions from then, (even though in this world, there are never really any people around) as well as things like old televisions and phones, cars and modern buildings from then. It’s kind of hard to explain. It’s the eighties as seen by horror made in the eighties. Lol. Some of it looks like the seventies for some reason.
But anyways, what this world focuses on is how a lot of slasher movies from the eighties start; serene and normal. Except in my world it’s always cold and overcast, with little people around. But I like the calm it offers. It’s funny to me that this whole thing was built on horror movie environment, but doesn’t include much of anything that defines a horror movie. But when I go there, it’s kind of like, it has this nostalgic feel, like thinking of good memories. Or like, it feels like something familiar, even if what I describe is nothing I’ve experienced for real.
That this world has barely no one in it and no killers may represent something about me being afraid to face things, which makes even more sense if I also consider the first metal world I mentioned where nothing ever happens. I have plenty of little worlds, which may or may not be interconnected. Sometimes I think these manifest themselves in my mind and are actually attached to subconscious elements of myself. Or maybe not, really I have no clue. But yeah, basically, an eighties ghost town, where something is going to happen, or already has, giving it its air of gloom, but it’s comforting to walk around in. I explore the houses too. It’s horror movie based, so while exploring, nothing is ever locked haha. Enjoying an element or nostalgia on the fact that its ephemeral, yet it’s an eternal ghost town, I denno man haha.
Not all my worlds are dark and creepy though. I have another one I call the stream.
It’s a space out in the country, a slightly wooded area, but I’m in some sort of clearing. It’s always Spring there, there are yellow and white flowers, small bushes and a huge tree. I’m usually hanging around it, or lying against it. There’s a stream too, but I can’t see it from where I am, I can only hear it. It’s hidden by trees.
It’s sunny and warm, but not too hot, and there’s always a gentle breeze going on.
I’m not alone there, there’s also an older woman, usually dressed in white. I can never see her face, but I can sometimes see some hair, which isn’t always the same colour. She’s a source of comfort. Sometimes we talk, and sometimes we sit side by side, and more often than not, she’s holding me in her arms while I’m falling asleep.
And that’s probably because this is a world I created while taking naps. It’s a really peaceful place, and so thinking about that helps to have me fall asleep, but only naps. No entire night sleeps, this place does not exist at night. I just imagine myself in that environment while napping, and it often works. Kind of like a sleep aid, but I’ve elaborated enough on it in the past years that it can be its own small world.
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