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jellyfish3232's avatar

Are my answers not considered as seriously because I'm young and I have a low "lurve count"?

Asked by jellyfish3232 (1849 points ) May 7th, 2011

That’s right. I’m 13 and I currently have 634 lurve. (Or is that “lurves”? Or “lurve points”?)
I’m not asking what you think sensibly, but deep in your subconscious, the first thought that comes to mind is that I have low lurve, therefore I haven’t been here for long, therefore I don’t have anything good to say? Or that my answer isn’t as important as someone else’s? I know that all of you are educated enough to know that it’s nonsense to think like that, but on a deeper level I find that such thoughts are unavoidable. It’s not that I think you don’t like me. Opinions, anyone?

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49 Answers

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Where is this coming from? What made you think we don’t take you seriously or think your answer isn’t important?

I don’t really know you – you have to be not just around, but around on a constant basis for a little while for me to get to know you and develop a relationship with you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think your answer is important, or think less of you or your answer.

tedibear's avatar

Also, you just joined in February! Give it time. Giving thoughtful, well-written, or insightful answers will garner you more lurve.

dxs's avatar

In my honest opinion, yes. But to a certain extent! Some new fluther people don’t undersand the site too much, so I assume that they may not be undertanding it fully. Some just give immature/unhelpful/flameish/etc. responses because they don’t know the quality of site. If I see a new response and they know what they ar talking about, then I totally respect it.

KateTheGreat's avatar

It depends on the input you give to the website. If your answers are well thought out and they are logical, then you’re taken seriously. You just have to work your way up the ladder just like everyone else. Have you interacted with others? Have you been sincere and insightful? You have to make your presence known. We automatically respect you unless you give us a reason not to and none of us are mean.

I joined in February of this year, just like you did. I was in every question, I got involved, and I made friends with others. Effort is the main key.

jellyfish3232's avatar

@KatetheGreat
Wow. I guess I have somebody to look up to, then. I’m your new apprentice.

syz's avatar

I don’t pay any attention to lurve points, and I had no idea of your age until you brought it up. I just give lurve for answers that I think deserve it.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I apologize…I cheated. After looking over the questions that you have asked, only two have shown up in the “Messages for You” and almost all of them are beyond my ability to answer. As for giving lurve to responses, the amount that they already have and who the respondent is makes no difference to me. It is given when I agree with the answer, and then I tend to look at the other details.

SABOTEUR's avatar

I usually just address the question. I rarely notice who posts it unless the question is gender or age related. I could have answered all of your questions…or none at all and I still wouldn’t know who you were, much less your age.

As far as I’m concerned, all of my questions and answers deserve lurve. The fact that few people agree with me merely indicates the level of catching up everyone needs to do.

No reflection on me at all…!

(Tongue planted firmly in cheek.)

Seaofclouds's avatar

I don’t look at a persons lurve or when they joined when it comes to giving them a GA or GQ. I base that strictly on what their questions and answers consist of. I also don’t try to guess a person’s age and I probably won’t remember that you are 13 unless you consistently bring it up. Many of the jellies here have mentioned their ages before and I’ve forgotten how old most of them are at this point.

Brian1946's avatar

I would say no.

For one thing, you haven’t asked or answered that many questions.

In comparing yourself to KatetheGreat, she has 50% more lifetime than you do, she’s lived in two different countries, and has learned two different languages.

Hell, I’m 64 and she’s probably experienced and learned quite a few things that I haven’t.

WasCy's avatar

I try (I think) to look at what is said first of all, but I admit that I also pay close attention to how it’s said. So if a reasonable thought is expressed badly, I discount the thought, at least to a degree. But I can’t honestly say that I recall anything in particular that you’ve said that I’ve lurved or commented on or simply ignored. I don’t even read a significant fraction of responses from jellies who haven’t already been on my radar.

But I have to admit that if I sense that a poster is too self-involved as this Q indicates you are (and which is completely understandable for a 13-year-old—I’m not so old that I can’t recall how that age felt) then I might tend to remain deliberately ignorant, unless there’s a real cry for help.

wundayatta's avatar

You know, I have dealt with a lot of feelings like that. I know that it isn’t so, but I still think people don’t notice me, or wouldn’t miss me if I was to disappear. It’s completely out of step with what reality appears to be, but it’s as if I can’t help it. Or maybe it’s my body because I get this hollowness in my solar plexus.

I have to just repeat over and over to myself a couple of things. The first is that they aren’t ignoring me. It’s just they have other things on their minds. And the second is that I can’t take it personally. I can’t assume this is some deliberate disrespect.

The third thing that I try to tell myself is that I’m really not all that important. I mean, it would be great if I was a crucial member, but I’m not. No one is. It goes on and on no matter who is there.

So, if I’m not that important, and lurve isn’t important, then why am I here? You see, that’s the thing I think is most important. If I’m here for lurve and accolades, forget it. People will see I’m posing and trying too hard. It’ll do the opposite of what I want.

But if I’m just myself… my most honest self, true to myself, and I spend time and I answer questions for me, not for anyone else, then it doesn’t matter whether people notice me or not.

It is nice to be noticed, of course. It helps in making friends. But even that is a dicey thing. There are a few people I correspond with regularly at any point in time. But that roster changes from month to month. Friends become active and then they go off in their own direction. I see them around, but we don’t reach out to each other, for the most part. Really, there’s only one person who has kept in touch with me fairly consistently over the last three years.

Part of that is me. I’m not good at keeping up with people. That’s mostly because I don’t want to do small talk and there isn’t always big talk to be done—at least between me and another jelly. The other part of it is just the way the world works. People get together for a while and then they drift apart and someone else shows up.

Right now, I’m dealing with a situation where I can’t do what I really want to. That’s painful. It makes me feel lonely even though I’m surrounded by people—and some of them actually care about me, and a smaller group actually loves me. But it’s hard to feel that because of feeling so bad about what I can’t have.

So that’s the same thing. I have expectations and they aren’t being met. I have to soothe myself, as you have to soothe yourself. Your self esteem shouldn’t be entirely dependent on the responses of those out there. Sometimes you just have to be totally true to yourself, and not worry about how people react. That’s it. And it helps. Especially if you do your work just to do the work.

AmWiser's avatar

Dang! @jellyfish3232 you’ve only been here since February and have asked 18 questions and responsed 105 times. Even if you received 1 lurve for each question and 1 lurve for each response, you would only have a total of 579 points. I’m not adding the days you logged on because that doesn’t show up in your profile. IMO you are doing great and appear to be a welcome addition to the community. Don’t dwell on your age and the community won’t either. Well most some of them.:-)

YARNLADY's avatar

I have absolutely no idea what age a contributor is unless they mention it, and even then, it does not affect my lurve giving.

keobooks's avatar

You can’t really DO anything with lurve. You can’t exchange lurve for cool prizes like Chinese finger traps or glow in the dark yo-yos. So don’t stress not getting tons of it all at once. It doesn’t matter if you don’t get that much.

I think if you post what is honestly on your mind or in your heart and quit worrying about whether or not a particular response is getting “lurved” enough, you’ll acquire more lurve. When you’re trying too hard, it shows.

I had a friend here I met on another site and she came here. She got TONS more lurve in a few weeks than I had gotten in over a year. Mostly because I lurk all the time and she was working the boards really hard, trying to get as much lurve as possible. She ended up getting burned out and quit for good after a few months. I think she posted fun questions and gave good answers, but she was just trying WAY too hard to rack up points. And those points were pretty much pointless.

I kinda miss her and wonder where she is. Maybe she’ll come back.

I just checked her account. She got 7.5k lurve in about 4 months. INSANE. Don’t try that.

SABOTEUR's avatar

I approach Fluther like I approach all other things.

I do this because I like doing this.
This, in itself, is the reward.

Now, if someone else appreciates a view I’ve expressed, so much the better.
That’s icing on the cake.

But someone appreciating my words enough to award me lurve is never my primary objective.

It can’t be.

Once I allow my self esteem to be measured by what someone else thinks about my perspective

I’m lost.

jellyfish3232's avatar

@SABOTEUR
I agree completely.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@jellyfish3232 Sucking up…always worthy of lurve, in my book!
(I’m joking! Thanks for the appreciation.)

rooeytoo's avatar

Lurve is not only an indication of the quality of your answers, it also has to do with the quantity. I don’t spend a lot of time here so it is taking me a lot longer to reach the mansions. Many who have joined long after me are way ahead of me in the score.

IF someone says something I find incredibly intelligent or stupid or out there, I may look at their profile, otherwise I respond and give lurve when it is a subject that interests me. So until you asked this question, I had no idea of your age or actually of your existence!

AstroChuck's avatar

I was taking your answers seriously until I discovered you were only 13 and then I saw that you hadn’t accummulated very much lurve.

j/k, btw.

keobooks's avatar

@jellyfish3232 – I finally checked your profile. I think your cool sense of humor comes out in your answers. I like what you’ve written. I wouldn’t have guessed you were 13. I would think you were someone older with a very off the wall and playful way of looking at things.

You answered a bunch of questions that I would have ignored though, so I never would have seen them. The questions you asked were decent and well thought out (I especially liked the one about taping people together.) But I don’t know much about art supplies or video games. The gravity question was great, but I’m not clever enough with physics OR funny enough to give that one the answer it deserved. So I never would have looked at your questions if you hadn’t of asked.

So many of us may have not even ever seen one of your posts before today. Don’t feel bad. I seriously doubt anyone is hating on you.

incendiary_dan's avatar

I’m much more likely to gloss over someone’s answers just because they’re not familiar. I don’t actually look at the scores so much. So if you stick around and I decide I don’t think you’re a moron, I’ll probably pay closer attention to your comments and questions.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@incendiary_dan

Hilarious!
(Eh…am I still a moron or have I gra-giated to imbecile yet? Just askin’...)

bob_'s avatar

They are, but now that you’ve asked this question, you’re on probation.

Joker94's avatar

I kind of used to feel that way. As it turned out, I just wasn’t really active in this community. It took a bit of time, yeah, but once I settled in nicely I made a few friends.

ddude1116's avatar

I noticed that the nights where I spend all of my time on here are the ones that get me the most lurve. Otherwise I’ll get ten every three days just out of the few answers I post. It depends on the time you spend on answering questions.

lillycoyote's avatar

Of course not. I looked at your profile and your answers and a lot of your answers have gotten 1,2,3 lurve, at least one answer received 6 lurve. The reason your lurve is low is about quantity not quality. I have 16,933 lure. I have asked 83 questions, and question asking is not something I’m very good at and written 5,364 responses. You have 675 lure and have asked only 18 questions and written 106 responses.

Anyway, the points don’t matter, total points don’t matter. If you have something worthwhile to say people will respond. If you don’t have the time or the inclination to ask more question and write more response, good, you’re13, there are plenty of other the things to do so don’t worry about your total lure or lurves or points. No one is judging you by it.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

It’s also important to remember – we can each only contribute 100 points to your lurve score. So lurve is more a sign of seniority than popularity.

Bellatrix's avatar

Hi @jellyfish3232 I wouldn’t know how old you are without looking at your profile and I don’t do that often. Give it time. You can only answer honestly and people will or will not respond to your answers. Just keep going. I certainly can’t recall reading your responses and thinking, “well that’s silly or immature” or anything like that.

I think it is actually great to have people of all ages here. So welcome.

augustlan's avatar

You’re more than welcome here, youngling. My daughters are members here, too, and the youngest is also 13. Hang around, teach us a few things, learn a few things, become a familiar presence, and the lurve will come. We’re glad you’re here!

Cruiser's avatar

Your age is not a problem, nor your race or religion….what could be a problem is your avatar and name….nothing smacks more of an ass kissing goody-two-shoes as a name of jellyfish.

Just messing with ya kid…have fun here or else!!

flutherother's avatar

Age and lurve are just numbers it’s the thought and the humour and the understanding that are important. I don’t always remember to give a good answer and some great answers of mine such as this one get no lurve at all.

jellyfish3232's avatar

@Cruiser

I’ve used the name “jellyfish” for years before I joined Fluther! I didn’t know that it was jellyfish-themed yet!

jonsblond's avatar

High lurve just means you have no life outside of Fluther. I envy you @jellyfish3232! :D

KateTheGreat's avatar

@jonsblond Hahaha, that’s quite true.

incendiary_dan's avatar

@SABOTEUR You, sir, have consistently impressed me with your comments. Or at least, you don’t say anything stupid. :P

_zen_'s avatar

A. Lurve hurts – don’t bother about it.

B. I doubt anyone checks up on someone’s age and then doesn’t give them lurve if they are young. That’s just Lurvenoia.

SABOTEUR's avatar

@incendiary_dan That’s kind of you to say. Wasn’t really fishing for a component so I find myself in an embarrassing position. Please excuse me whilst I soak my swelled head.

TheIntern55's avatar

I have been here since two hours ago because you told me about it. I barely know what a lurve is.

jellyfish3232's avatar

@TheIntern55
I see that you chose sealand. Appropriate, because you’re not appreciated by many of us.. But I understand you!

Blueroses's avatar

It can be intimidating to join an established online community, particularly if you don’t think of yourself as a social person. Personally, if I see a thoughtful post from somebody who indicates he/she is younger (or who has a lower lurve score) I am likely to hit the GA or GQ in the spirit of encouragement.
I love seeing proof that teens are intelligent and valid humans. Your contributions here are welcomed.

DeanV's avatar

The trick is not letting them know your age.

augustlan's avatar

Indeed, @dverhey. It was quite a while before I figured out how old young you are.

stupidcomedycenter's avatar

It truly does not matter how high your lurve is. If you have something to say then it should not be ignored and should be heard 100% because you have great things inside of you. No I’m not talking about your liver… (Stupid) I’m talking about your thoughts and ideas. They are there in you and you just have to let them out and let them be heard because no matter what you think, they are important and should not be just ignored because of your amount of lurve.

jellyfish3232's avatar

@stupidcomedycenter
Now THAT’s what I’m talking about! Great answer!

stupidcomedycenter's avatar

@jellyfish3232 Thank you. It’s the truth though. I just reached 100 lurve a few minutes ago. That does not mean that my comments are stupid and should not be read. It does not mean that I have nothing to say. As a community, we should respect what we all have to say. We don’t have to judge our selves and friends on lurve. We should judge them on their character and what they have to say.

Blueroses's avatar

You’re doing fine @stupidcomedycenter. In fact I’d say your average is pretty good for only having given 43 responses and the majority of those were just in the last several hours where they may not have been read yet.

stupidcomedycenter's avatar

@Blueroses Thank you. Yes I have been active today mainly and your write they may not have been read yet.

laineybug's avatar

For me it doesn’t matter. I didn’t know you were 13 until i read this question. My age (also 13, as @augustlan said) is in my story for all to see, and people still give me lurve. I respond to many things and don’t really care if people give me lurve or not.

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