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Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Is it good to hold in the big portion of anger that's been rotting inside and growing?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (2958 points ) May 12th, 2011

Well is it? I always had issues with this, and today…has been one of those days where I had the mind to make a bloody mess on a desk or anywhere I can break their mind…Literally… I guess I can say I’ve been very angry lately and I’ve been keeping it stored in this…..er…behind fake smiles and false feelings and happiness.Is this something good to do or not? It’s been this giant fire ever since I was a little kid, and it’s always added on since then. I’ve never had a chance to actually let it out… Fully…Just little portions, but by then it grows two times then what I had before…I’m such an angry person but I never want to show it. My mom always tells me to release that anger when the time is right. I just want to know if this is a good thing or not. Is it?

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19 Answers

Sunny2's avatar

It is not a good thing to carry around a lot of anger. To help get rid of it, try exercising with anger. Run hard, hit a tennis ball repetitively and hard, hit a punching bag, swim as fast as you can as long as you can. It should help relieve the anger enough that you can think about what specifically is making you angry. When you reach the point when you can talk about it, there are people who can help you talk it out.

weeveeship's avatar

First, you would want to see if you could solve the problem head-on. If someone is bullying you, tell them to stop or talk to a school administrator. If something at work or school is bothering you, ask your friends/colleagues/classmates for help and advice.

Second, if the problem is in the past or it is something that you cannot solve head-on (e.g. poor economy, etc.), then I would recommend journaling. Writing about your frustrations in a journal, whether in the form of a non-fiction narrative or in the form of a fictionalized account, helps relieve stress.

Third, I would agree with @Sunny2‘s suggestion. Physical exercise also helps release anger. Plus, it is good for the body.

Hope you feel better.

jonsblond's avatar

You’re responsible for your own happiness, no one else is. Let go of the anger and do what makes you happy.

Hibernate's avatar

Go subscribe to some box training lessons.
And hit that bag and release yourself ^^

SABOTEUR's avatar

The question answers itself.

Who in their right mind holds on to anything rotting…

especially rotting and growing inside?

Is that not a description of cancer?

rooeytoo's avatar

I personally have to first acknowledge that the anger, resentment, whatever is there. These are feelings and feelings of themselves are not good or bad, they just are. If I allow other people, things, circumstances to “make” me furious, that is my choice. So I must acknowledge that I am falling into this rut again, blaming others for my feelings. I am the only person I can control, I can’t change anyone else to conform to my standards I can only change my own expectations.

Once I have this discussion with myself as many times as necessary, I become a witness to my feelings instead of a victim of them and then I can move on.

Not easy but it can be done and that is how I cope. It’s a lot easier than trying to get the world to change for me.

SABOTEUR's avatar

EXCELLENT ANSWER, @rooeytoo!

chewhorse's avatar

Obviously you know the answer to your own question or you wouldn’t be here asking, which is points in your favor.. You want confirmation that how your handling it is sufficient.. Well it’s not.. You will explode one day and it’s after effects will be long lasting and will affect several people connected to and around you. You need to to seek help and advice from someone who can help you in this matter, not a forum that can only give their opinions to someone they have no true knowledge or history of.

rooeytoo's avatar

@SABOTEUR – thank you. :-)

stardust's avatar

I agree with @rooeytoo I think there’s ways that you can let go of the anger bit by bit without causing harm to yourself or anyone else. Exercise is a great way – something hardhitting like @Sunny2 mentioned. When you know you’re on your own, you could scream as loud as you possibly can, etc.
You could write about the anger – get really descriptive and don’t hold anything back. When you’re done, you could burn the piece of paper. It is not good to hold that in, but it can be released safely.

gm_pansa1's avatar

Holding anger in is not a good thing, because eventually something’s going to happen that’s going to send you over the edge and you’ll pop really badly. You should try to find out why you’re so angry and deal with it from there.

koanhead's avatar

It’s not merely a matter of holding the anger inside vs. giving vent to it.
There is at least one option, and at the risk of indulging in “psychobabble” I will call it “working through” the anger. It’s important to recognize not only the sources of your anger but also the reasons why those things make you angry. It’s not easy, but I hear it can be done.
Personally, I drown my own anger in metabolic poisons. It’s not healthy but it keeps me from breaking things.

If you are experiencing physical symptoms because of these feelings, or if the feelings are so intense that you feel that you MUST ACT on them, then please consider seeing a doctor who can refer you to a good therapist.
Good luck, and I wish you well.

koanhead's avatar

Would you care to talk about what it is you have been so angry about since you were a little kid?

CaptainHarley's avatar

You need to take up strenuous exercise, meditate, or see a psychologist… or perhaps all three. When I was much younger, I had this same problem. I got mad very easily. As I grew older, and especially after I got married, most of that anger seemed to fade away. I suspect that a great deal of it was due to an overabundance of testosterone.

marinelife's avatar

No, it is not a good idea to keep your anger held inside. Go somewhere where no one else is around and work on letting out out.

Use your voice and your body (which will help it express). So you can imagine someone who made you angry on the ground in front of you and punch them (hard!). Actually swing your arm with a closed fist while yelling “Take that, you mf” or whatever you find satisfying.

Another one is to stand with your feet shoulder distance apart and your knees slightly bent. With your fists closed, pretend to elbow someone behind you while yelling “Get off my back.” Alternate arms. Repeat.

SavoirFaire's avatar

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
—Buddha

“Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.”
—Marcus Antonius

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Well @koanhead I can’t really say…I had a lot going on in my head. I was destructive and broke a lot of things. My family already had issues…And I was a “thinker” so said by the words of mommy. But back when in elementary people irritated me, made fun of me. And either way joked around or not I took it seriously and wanted to shove their head through the jungle gym and rip off their damn head…(possible or not) but a lot of things cause my anger… My So called “small” kinks I have are the biggest issues in my life. And majority right now are in affect right now and it’s hard for me to have a relationship where I don’t feel like I’m lonely and depressed. Or I want to put the guy (sometimes girl) against the wall and lay off or I swear I’ll damage you… But the main cause for me is an unknown….

rooeytoo's avatar

Counseling helped me when I was filled with rage. Also there was alcoholism in my family and I went to Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) meetings, they were tremendously helpful. Everyone there was furious about something, and we all dealt with it together. The power of a group is amazing. Do you have alcoholism in your family?

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