Social Question

MissAnthrope's avatar

Okay, this is embarrassing... but.. would you guys help me write a better personals ad?

Asked by MissAnthrope (21401 points ) May 17th, 2011

I’m really embarrassed to ask this, so please be nice and go easy on me!

Okay, my issue is that I am not at all good at describing or talking about myself in a way that might intrigue people. What I come up with is pretty dry and boring, which, if you know me at all, I am not. I’m actually pretty outgoing when I feel comfortable, and I’m apparently quite funny and charming. (according to my friends)

I have discussed this with several friends in real life, who offered to help me improve my personals ad, but I guess everyone is busy. It feels weird and awkward (and maybe self-absorbed and narcissistic) to press the issue, so here I am, asking my online friends for help. :)

I guess I will post the text that I have now—and yeah, it’s pretty yawn-inducing—in hopes that maybe someone can help me jazz it up? Thanks in advance. :)

.

I’m a very laid-back, friendly, genuine, and low-drama person who can get along with almost anyone. I really dig intelligence, kindness, geeks/nerds, humor, wit, and quirkiness. I try to live my life as positively and as honestly as possible, and I’d love to meet someone who is the same. I dislike drama, conflict, and negativity—life is hard enough as it is, why make it more miserable?

I’m tomboyish and I love being outdoors and doing things like hiking and camping. My major is wildlife biology, so I’m very interested in the sciences and the natural world. I’m not big into the bar scene and am happy to just hang out in a place where people can talk. I have a really wide variety of interests and like to talk about all sorts of things from the real to the hypothetical. I love silly, goofy, fun people and definitely appreciate sarcasm and dry senses of humor. Other people tell me pretty consistently that I’m funny and sweet.

I have an array of passions including photography, music, books/reading, nature, traveling, spirituality, good food/wine/beer/coffee, and activism (I can’t help fighting for the underdogs of the world). Some of my other interests are adventuring, exploring, psychology, sociology, anthropology, and general geekery (computers, science, technology, video games, books, etc.).

Aside from that, I have a sarcastic, dry sense of humor, but I definitely have a goofy streak and an appreciation for goofballs. I love laughing and making people laugh and I try to have fun no matter what I’m doing!

If you’re looking to meet smart, engaged, normal, relatively sane, genuine people, look no further! I am looking for you, too. :)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

WasCy's avatar

My Fluther name is MisAnthrope. We should meet there, and you can meet some of my friends at the same time.

Seriously, the first sentence has got to go. The only thing that’s missing from that example of triteness is how much you enjoy long walks on the beach during moonlit nights. If you really want to shoot for boring, then work that in somehow. Everyone is laid-back, friendly, genuine and low-drama and can get along with everyone. There’s no one on a dating site who doesn’t meet those criteria.

Don’t write about yourself. Write about something else entirely – in a way that demonstrates your quirky take on life. Don’t say what your friends say about you. What do your enemies say about you?

FutureMemory's avatar

You mention being drama-free/low drama twice in the first paragraph. Some might wonder if “thou protest too much”.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Really, it’s because I SO DO NOT WANT ANY MORE DRAMA. But noted. Thanks. :)

Blackberry's avatar

I don’t know if it works, but try to sound all cool and unfettered by something short and sweet lol. “I’m just looking around, message me if you want to chat or have any questions :)” No one really reads all that stuff, the actual conversation is what matters.

BarnacleBill's avatar

Member of Sierra Club with an interest in photography and literature seeks same. Must have a dry sense of humor, appreciate irony, and speak kindly of your exes. If you have read (insert favorite book/author), let’s discuss.

That pretty much weeds out everyone not compatible with you.

Jude's avatar

Too much. Short and sweet.

FutureMemory's avatar

If you’re looking to meet smart, engaged, normal, relatively sane, genuine people, look no further! I am looking for you, too. :)

Change it to engaging.

Ajulutsikael's avatar

I have had the same problem describing myself. At best I always end up making lists. For the most part I list my likes and sometimes I go from there. Listing interests usually is the best. Post a picture of you with an interesting tee shirt or something. Maybe use a pic of something related to what you like.

I’ve met most of my SO’s on the internet, but on forums not dedicated to dating. One of them was an anime one and the other one was dedicated to a comic MMORPG.

Blueroses's avatar

Are you lazy, self-centered, and love fashion?
Do you like to get wasted and rag about your exes?
Do you have a personal message for me from the One True Lord and Savior?
Do you vote for the candidate with the best hair?
Do you believe nature is best portrayed in Thomas Kincaid paintings?
Do you consider Cosmo magazine to be literature?

If you answered “no” to all of the above, please hit the reply button.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

About me (you)

I’m relaxed, comfortable in my own skin and appreciate the genuine. Intelligence doesn’t un nerve me, kindness impresses me, humor, wit and quirkiness are friends. Positivity is a conscious effort and welcome addition to my life, you know what they say… accentuate the positive and kick negative stuff out in the cold. You could say I’m a bit of tomboy who cleans up very very nicely.

My major study is wildlife biology so I’m very interested in the evolving sciences and natural world discoveries. Getting outdoors and acting on opportunities to hike/trek, camp and explore are important to me. Some of my passions are photography, music, reading, spirituality, sociology, anthropology and general tech geekery.

Being present and celebrating what’s good around me, that’s what I’d like to share.

Jude's avatar

@Blueroses I like it.

How you doin’? ;-)

MissAnthrope's avatar

♥ ♥ ♥ Thank you all for the feedback! I am not naturally socially adept and for some reason am completely incapable of writing about myself. I appreciate your taking the time to give your help and opinions. :) ♥ ♥ ♥

everephebe's avatar

First off: You’re a babe, so, own it. :D And there’s nothing to be embarrassed by.

I’d go with more of an amuse-bouche. You know, just give them a little taste, they’ll end up wanting more. I strongly believe that brevity is your friend and will be much more intriguing.

And feel free to talk more about what you are looking for.
This length is more like it:

I really dig intelligence, kindness, geeks/nerds, humor, wit, and quirkiness. I try to live my life as positively and as honestly as possible, and I’d love to meet someone who is the same. I enjoy being outdoors and doing things like hiking and camping. I love silly, goofy, fun people and definitely appreciate sarcasm and dry senses of humor. I dislike drama, conflict, and negativity—life is hard enough as it is, why make it more miserable?

If you’re looking to meet smart, engaged, normal, relatively sane, genuine person, look no further! I am looking for you, too :)

dabbler's avatar

@Blueroses great idea to ask some leading questions to let on what you want in the other person. It’s implicit that you want them to like you as you describe yourself. And it’s important to give some good ideas about what you’re like.
But you probably don’t want somebody who is just like you. What are you looking for besides “gets along with me” ?

Judi's avatar

Why don’t you write it in the third person? If not for the ad, at least for the brainstorming. Pretend you are writing about someone else with atributes similar to yours. It may help you get over your narcissist phobia and help you write a more compelling story.

WasCy's avatar

I love the idea that @Judi gave me. Write third person testimonials… that are completely over the top, like movie reviews (but true, to a point, also like movie reviews):
“Special!”@MissAnthrope‘s mom
“Beautiful princess… lovely!”@MissAnthrope‘s dad
“Funny! Clever! Great listener!@MissAnthrope‘s friends
”... drama-free… honest… friendly”@MissAnthrope‘s associates

MissAnthrope's avatar

@WasCy – I’m so glad you said that because that was actually my idea, too! I thought it would be fun and silly to write my profile like a movie or book review with review-like quotes from people who know me. I kind of scrapped the idea after I decided maybe it was a stupid idea.

@everephebe – A babe?? Wow. Well, you’ve certainly fluffed my ego. Thanks. :)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I like that idea about writing a review type personal. Your friends might really enjoy putting in their two cents and if a date ever meets your friends then it’ll be an ice breaker.

Blueroses's avatar

“A true original!... If you only date one girl this summer, make it this one!@MissAnthrope‘s friends

MissAnthrope's avatar

Hahahaha.

iLove's avatar

I totally disagree with what @Blackberry said.

Do not make it short like that. I am currently on a dating site and I will not even bother writing to someone who doesn’t give me some clue of who they are through their words.

BarnacleBill's avatar

I would take the tack of describing what you’re looking for, and not trying to describe yourself. Describing yourself is passive, and allows the reader to discount you without meeting you. You should try for something encourages the reaction, “Hey, me too!” Don’t try to make yourself too broadly appealling.

Member of Sierra Club with an interest in photography and literature seeks same. Must have a dry sense of humor, appreciate irony, and speak kindly of your exes. Must have minimal or self-manageable personal baggage; I don’t expect you to carry mine, and I’m not interested in carrying yours. If you have read (insert favorite book/author), let’s discuss.

MissAnthrope's avatar

@iLove – Yeah, I’m with you on that. There’s definitely a balance between short-and-sweet (leaving someone wanting more) and not enough info.

@all – Thanks again, you guys. You’re the bestest. :)

Neizvestnaya's avatar

@MissAnthrope: Will you share with us the final edit and update us on your responses?

MissAnthrope's avatar

@Neizvestnaya – I think it’s going to be in flux as I play around with it for a while; you all have given me some really fantastic stuff to work with! I liked yours, so I kinda swiped it. Hope you don’t mind. :D

I also liked @BarnacleBill‘s and that or a variation will get added in there, too, cause it’s pretty fab. Then, I stole @Blueroses’ ‘if you can say no to all of these, message me’ for another section of my profile.

I hope no one minds if I use what they suggested verbatim.. it’s just kinda how my brain works. Since I’m having such a difficult time coming up with things on my own, I’ll lay out your ideas and tweak them over time as I’m inspired, just so no one feels like I’m stealing their ideas or something. :)

Blueroses's avatar

Dear @MissAnthrope, it isn’t stealing when it’s given to you :)

BarnacleBill's avatar

Go for it!

mazingerz88's avatar

It’s perfect the way it is, I must say. : )

Kayak8's avatar

So what did you end up using?

MissAnthrope's avatar

Mostly @Neizvestnaya.‘s Sadly for me, the issue isn’t my profile text, I don’t think, because changing it didn’t seem to change the fact that I don’t get a lot of responses. I got really busy working 2 jobs and stopped caring as much about why no one wants to date me. Anyway, I’m exploring an interesting BDSM friendship/relationship with someone at the moment and I feel like most vanilla girls would take issue with the set-up.

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