Can you create your own crazy law?
You’ve probably heard some of those weird laws that exist in different states and elsewhere around the globe.
For example: No person may keep a smelly dog in Galesburg, IL.
There are thousands of others on that site, so browse around!
If you could make up your own insane law, what would it be? Please state the law and where it is to be enacted.
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51 Answers
Wearing silly hats indoors is illegal in Omaha, NE.
There’s a law in Hawaii that’s still on the books where you can’t put a dime in your ear. Personally I would like to outlaw Crocs Shoes in Hawaii. I think they are gross and smelly.
No giraffes in bars on Tuesdays (Fayetteville, AK).
Eating apple pie with a spoon is forbidden (San Fransisco, CA).
All frizzers are to be stocked with pancakes on Wednesdays when it’s purple. (Shelljanets, FT)
It is illegal to sit under an orange tree during the day time. (Wundayatte, TR).
It is illegal to sit under the orange tree without Wundayatta’s permission.
Since no one except me knows which orange tree is the orange tree, this essentially puts all orange tree on the forbidden list.
No sexual acts of any kind allowed on the fourth Sunday of each month. Intercourse PA.
Cereal must be eaten without milk (Dry, OK).
My law:
No one may speak above a whisper before sunrise or they will be arrested for disturbing the livestock.
If one activates the chorus of geese, sheep, donkeys and mules, they will promptly be shot.
No blow jobs from interns. The White House.
No sex from housemaids. The state of California.
No seducing other jellies. The Fluther website.
Nekked pancake parties must involve bacon syrup (The mansion).
It is a misdemeanor to place used chewing gum anywhere other than a trash receptacle. DNA tests will be conducted and the results entered into an international database. The penalty will increase with every new infraction. (Global law)
Anyone referring to a fever as “No, she doesn’t have a temperature” will immediately be flogged.
Anyone who publishes a book or television series without having planned an ending, and thus is forced to rely on some absurd and lazy deus ex machina that ties together no loose ends, shall be put to death.
It’s illegal to call an airplane pilot ‘Shirley’ in the event of a crash (Strassburg, IL).
It’s illegal to talk to strangers on public benches (Greenbow, AL).
Driving slow in the fast lane, U.S. Interstate.
It’s legal to shoot idiots at four way stop signs that just sit looking at each other for more ten seconds. Anywhere.
It’s legal to bitchslap anyone who stands at the front of a checkout line, fumbling through five different sale papers, pointing out all the different prices for longer than two minutes.
It’s legal for me, personally, to bitchslap @erichw1504 for telling everyone to eat my chocolate!
People called Murphy are prohibited from making up new laws. (Global Law)
These seem to be getting less crazy and more about personal pet peeves…
Let’s get back to business…
Doing the ’Carlton’ is forbidden on sidewalks (Austin, TX).
You need to pay for a state tax stamp ($200), acquire a license, and take an electrical safety class to start a garage band. (Monkey’s Eyebrow, TN)
Everyone between ages 7 and 54 must do this whenever going through a doorway. (Stag Jump, NY)
Females over the age of 18 must complete 10 jumping jacks before leaving any mall (Chicago, IL).
For every piece of cake you eat, you must do 30 minutes of moderate exercise. (Actually, that doesn’t really sound so crazy, so it probably doesn’t qualify.)
No futhering whatsoever while eating a grapefruit with a runcible spoon and standing next to a tiger cage at any zoo. ~ USA
Planking is only allowed after sundown with a popcicle (Fort Lauderdale, FL).
Chinese fire drills are required whenever 1) a car stops lawfully at a red light, 2) the number of occupants of the vehicle exceed two, 3). the first letter of the driver’s last name and the first letter of the name of the street being crossed begin with the same letter.
Where the name of the street being crossed is represented numerically, only vehicles driven by drivers named “Mahoney” are required to perform the drill.
Michigan (Upper peninsula)
@6rant6 witnessed someone braking that law the other day.
Watching Two and a Half Men with the lights out is illegal (Wheeling, NB).
Eating meatballs during a Yankees game is only legal while firing a shotgun at the nearest stop sign… on Mondays (Las Vegas, NV).
It a misdemeanor to use chopsticks to eat barbeque in Wheeling West Virgina.
It is a felony to say, “This is quite delightful!” while doing so.
You’ll be fined for using a lamp shade as a hat in St. Charles, MO.
In New York, it’s legal to go topless but illegal to wear tight fitting shirts. Unfortunatly, I think that the dumb people elected to office make thse laws and the citizens don’t get to. And shouldn’t. World’s dumb enough already.
Snapping your chewing gum is a capital offense.
No more thin bacon, ever. Only the thick cut kind, peppered or non peppered as long as it’s thick. It’s a waste of good swine.
You can never smell the roses unless you are asked for a bee to sting your nose. Or, you may naver wear open toed shoes if your toes are ugly and untended to.
@Adirondackwannabe – That happens to me sometimes. I have no idea who goes first when 4 cars arrive at a 4-way stop sign at the exact same time. Kind’a like when you’re walking down the street and you start “dancing” with someone walking toward you as you both try to walk around each other….
@astrix24 Gee, that’s a bummer with both laws.
Men can only wear speedoes on the beach if they leave their cars unlocked so that someone can steal their belongings which would serve them right.
Millard City,LA
$1.00 Beer vending machines everywhere.
All bar patrons must wear Adult Diapers while intoxicated.
All medications must cost no more than $50 and are to include a $25 grocery voucher in the packaging.
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