[NSFW?]I have a sticky want-to-break-up situation, but no idea what the best course of action would be, any advice?
I’ve been with this girl for about 4/5 months now, but recently I’ve been wanting out more-so than before (will be explained later). I’ve been feeling trapped, and I know that’s pretty much a sure sign that one needs to get out ASAP.
So some background and the like; the last paragraph is really all you need to read if you’re lazy. :o
She made out with me on the first date, and coaxed me into sex on the second- a day after saying she wanted to wait 3 months, and sort of forced me into saying “I love you” before I was ready. I wasn’t really looking for sex at all, but I let it slide because I was foolish. Things were great and eventually she tells me that she was a cutter, something I said I wouldn’t stand for at all. Awhile later in the relationship she was upset about something and was begging me to let her cut. I said no, she was angry about it claiming it was “her only release” and the like but ultimately as far as I’m aware didn’t for the sake of staying with me, along with her saying she was suicidal [I was close to ending it then but didn’t for whatever reason- in hindsight I should have bolted]. This happened again later but that time she said it didn’t count since she merely opened old wounds. She would often bring up how she wouldn’t ever stop loving her ex [which is fine, because I still care about my ex in the way that I don’t want her life to be hell]- except she would drop everything to text with him and would flirt with him through the texts. Later on my libido had dropped and she would throw fits about me not loving her because I wasn’t wanting to have sex all the time. This was worsened when I had gotten severe tonsillitis and strepp, when not wanting to shove my tongue down her throat/make out was added to this (I was severely sick, it’s not that I didn’t want to show affection). After recovering from the sickness. My libido hasn’t really come back since and it’s still an issue she brought up often; and always threw in the “it’s because you don’t love me anymore” card.
Now, we have had some great times and I have a lot of great memories with her, but she is clingy beyond my comfort, can’t take it when someone doesn’t feel the same way about something as she does, amung other things- despite all this I do love her, but I’ve found I just don’t feel the same about her as I use to. She loves me far more than I do; and my philosophy on love is that it’s like a scale, unless it’s even someone is always delusional, thus it won’t be a fair relationship- this bothers me because she is always going on about how she can’t live without me and the like.
Along with this there is someone else that I have started to become increasingly attracted to, and in my eyes have more compatibility. She also seems to be interested in me which makes me second guess most every thought because I don’t want that to put forth much bias to my decision, even though I had wanted out before I met her.
ANYWAY; here is where my problems with ending it come in.
I wasn’t able to do it today due to having made prior plans with her that she had been looking forward to for awhile- AND she’s moving a few hours away tonight for the summer for a job, so I didn’t want to do it today because she is pretty much forced to drive and it’s not fair to do that to someone before they essentially drive a multiple-ton bullet. I am hesitant as is simply because I don’t want her to harm herself or others; or make a stupid decision and end herself. She’s going to be living with her grandparents, and starting the new job tomorrow I believe. She doesn’t really have internet access, and doing it in person is for the most part something I’d rather avoid because of the issues stated earlier. I’d also rather not do it over the phone as I don’t really have any experience breaking up with anyone in the first place, and I absolutely hate talking on the phone as is- I have a weird anxiety with it. So I’m at a loss at how to do this, when to do this and pretty much everything about it. I have considered driving to her house and talking to her mom about it/ask her what to do, since she’s pretty cool but I don’t know if that’s appropriate past warning her about her self destructive tendencies.
So, I apologize for the huge chunk of text and hope making it tinyfont helps a bit, every bit of advice is greatly appreciated.
This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.