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wundayatta's avatar

What do you do when you're devastated?

Asked by wundayatta (58377 points ) May 22nd, 2011

It’s just a feeling—maybe related to events or maybe not. But some idea or other takes over your mind and won’t let go. Your body starts to hurt all over and your head feels like someone is pumping compressed air in it. Your stomach feels like it’s eating itself inside out. Your mind can’t stop going over and over whatever story it tells itself.

Can you just control things with, say, mindfulness practices? Do you just have to endure the long dark night of the tortured soul? What if you have no friends you can talk to? What gives you the strength to endure?

I try to live up to my name. Wun day at a time.

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17 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I cry a lot. Hopefully I have someone I can talk to, of not it makes it only harder. I generally am at the mercy of my mind, I rarely can control these things. Although, I do see how reframing my thoughts can really have a positive impact. But, sometimes I do not want to feel better, I want to be sad.

zenvelo's avatar

I call friends I can rely on. Or go to an AA meeting. And I cry.

jaynie7's avatar

I crochet! It is so calming and it helps me to think about practical solutions to my problems.

mazingerz88's avatar

Go to this dark place which I sometimes think of as my church. I stare at the flickering images looming large in front of me and more often than not magic comes out of those images that would bring me out from this deep and dark cavern inside of me into the light. It’s a moviehouse.

yankeetooter's avatar

Try to keep going, cry a lot, try to accept support from friends…

Ajulutsikael's avatar

I cry and listen to a lot of music. I don’t have friends and family near me and in general not many to begin with.

AshLeigh's avatar

I usually talk to my best friend, Marissah. That always helps. But that doesn’t help, I suppose, because you said you don’t have anyone to talk to.
I listen to music. Write. Go for walks. Spend time by myself, so I can sort things out.
Advice: If you need to talk to someone you can always turn to the people on Fluther. There are a lot of smart, sensitive, insightful people on here. Trust that we’re all here to help.
You can always talk to me, if you like. I’m a good listener.

Bellatrix's avatar

Cry. Probably a lot. I will eventually seek out someone to talk to as well. My first port of call would be my husband but if he wasn’t about, one of my daughters or a good friend. I find talking things out with people helps me to calm down.

augustlan's avatar

I go for the full-on wallow. Throw myself on the bed, cry and scream, wear myself out and sleep. The next day (or three) I pick myself up, dust myself off, and put one foot in front of the other. Repeat as necessary. If I can’t get out of it in a reasonable amount of time, I make a therapy appointment.

jrpowell's avatar

Yikes. I’m actually a bit surprised people get like this.

I guess I can thank a insane childhood for making it so I don’t really care. I’m barely ever stressed out. I don’t have a real job, I don’t worry about money, I don’t have a car, and I don’t have kids.

Maybe I’m lucky that I realized that you can’t undo the past and I try to solve problems instead of worrying about them.

JLeslie's avatar

@johnpowell You have never lost someone, or had a break up with an SO, that hurt so bad you could barely function?

augustlan's avatar

@johnpowell I had an insane childhood, too (though not as devastating as yours), but it didn’t seem to have the same effect on me. I’m saddled with depression and anxiety, but therapy and drugs helped a lot. I hardly ever get the wallows, now.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Mindfullness practices along with exercise are the perfect way to get through tough times for me.

Cruiser's avatar

I like to play my guitar as it is a great mind eraser where I just immerse myself in my playing. I used to drink away my problems but now I deal with issues head on and like to park each and every issue in a separate little box so it doesn’t become a maelstrom in my head. I can then take each stressor and deal with one at a time. I will meditate on the biggies which is where I usually find my answers to my life’s big mysteries.

Symbeline's avatar

I felt that before. It was the Black Plague. Man, did that suck.

Not but srsly folks…devastated. It takes a long time, but I can usually shake out of it and come out in decent shape, by doing things that let my mind wander, and that make me forget a little about what ails me. Personal worlds and fantasies can help me. One thing I often did was go for a looooong walk in some secluded place, like in the woods, or by a river bank and walk for hours. Eventually the mind wanders, and I find myself somewhere else in my mind. The physical exhaustion is also a factor, I suppose.
Or maybe I’ll go out and buy like three hamburgers, a huge thing of coffee and play video games for like 16 hours staright, and just fuck everything else.
Sure, when I’m done with these methods, the problem, concern or whichever comes back, but I’m better able to deal with it at that point, or at least, to stop letting it from fucking me up too much. If I don’t find a method for ’‘devastation’’ I end up doing retarded shit, it’s happened before.
Despite these methods being good, sometimes, I find that drinking deals with everything so much better, only it doesn’t leave you in a better state of mind afterward haha. XD

mattbrowne's avatar

Let’s renew our efforts with better skills, better role models and better knowledge when we fail the first time and not denigrate ourselves as being flawed.

Schroedes13's avatar

Guitar. Hour and hour of guitar. Helps quiet the mind and placate the soul.

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