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Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Best way to keep calmness and stress level down?

Asked by Vincent_Lloyd (2954 points ) May 24th, 2011

This question goes for me and my girlfriend….We’re both stressed out… And she needs to learn how to stay calm and not panic. I’m stressed since the end of the school year and my god…I messed up so badly…I had my focus, then it just went away and I couldn’t do anything… And I’m trying real hard to focus…She’s stressed from people, family, school, and since she had an anxiety attack during school on Tuesday the 17th and she had to go to the doctors…And she could have a heart attack if she’s not careful. 1: since she has asthma 2: From high stress.
So that just adds on to what stress is already built up.

I don’t know what to do at this point…We fought over something really stupid right now…But we both had..still have…built up anger inside…But now that issue is resolved. And we just need to start working up so that I- ....We can help each other with stress and I can help her with staying calm. So..Best way to narrow it down… Can you guys help us on how to keep the peace, and to keep our stress levels down more…If anything there’s more to her side of the stress level, but just PM for the rest of that. Or leave a comment what ever….But please Fluther, help…?

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7 Answers

rooeytoo's avatar

I keep telling you, try meetings, ACOA was the best for me, teaches you where your anger is coming from and how to cope with it.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Did she ask you to ask on her behalf here?
Did the doctors actually say that she could have a heart attack? Because having a panic attack can sure feel like you’re having a panic attack, but until you’re much older, you almost definitely won’t (unless she has some kind of aggravating condition).

So immediate techniques for getting a panic attack down on your own (without drugs):
1. Soaking in the bathtub
2. Planning my career
3. Getting out of (paying on) debt
4. Collecting things (coins, shells, etc.)
5. Going on vacation
6. Thinking how it will be when I finish school
7. Recycling old items
8. Going on a date
9. Relaxing
10. Going to a movie in the middle of the week
11. Jogging, walking
12. Thinking I have done a full day’s work
13. Listening to music
14. Recalling past parties
15. Buying household gadgets
16. Lying in the sun
17. Planning a career change
18. Laughing
19. Thinking about my past trips
20. Listening to others
21. (Goes on for about 100 more items)
22. Blow bubbles. Watch the shape and size and different colors – memorize them as as if you want to paint them later.
23. Get a heat pack, throw it on top of where ever you hold your stress (mine is in my lower abdomen and back).
24. Drink some chamomile and/or Valerian tea – both have calming agents.
24. Watch a mindless sitcom
25. Watch a brilliant!!!! sitcom
26. Find out which tv shows you can watch when panicking and which ones you can’t (ie I can’t watch horror, thriller, dramas, slashers, etc but I can watch non-gory non-creepy sci-fi shows like Star Trek as well as most comedy and family flicks like Shrek but not Pinochio or Alice in Wonderland).
27. Put your palms on the opposite upper arm, crossing them, and tap yourself lightly repeatedly, like you’re a butterfly flapping your wings.

Long term: Get yourself some therapy. Try to find people that don’t just seek to medicate you or go the really long route about your childhood and past experiences, but also teach you short-term tools for getting your immediate stress level down – and likewise, don’t try to only teach you tools but not fix the larger and deeper issues.

Mariah's avatar

I am not good at stress management myself so there’s little I can tell you except this: your girlfriend is 13, 14? She will not have a heart attack. Don’t worry about that, that’s just unnecessary anxiety.

cheebdragon's avatar

Weed? Cigarettes?...yoga?

suzanna28's avatar

Practice ignoring offensive people.

If you jump at every opportunity to defend yourself you stress your self out.

Often the best way to deal with these people is to ignore them

Excersise 3 times a week.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@Mariah There’s a chance, if she’s not careful. She has a heart problem and lung problem I guess, so if she’s not careful then something like a heart attack could happen.

@cheebdragon No I’m not gonna have her do weed or anything like that, and no she doesn’t do drugs in general.

@suzanna28 Haha trust me I try…..We try lol

Mariah's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd Okay, but there’s a chance she could be hit by a car anytime she walks down the road. Doesn’t mean you should get yourself all worked up about it.

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