You are about to be shot in the head, what would you say to spare your life?

Is one of the stipulations that someone else will be shot in my place? Honestly, I can’t say for sure until I’m in that situation… but if it were my life or another’s, I would keep my fucking trap shut. No way I’m sending someone else in my place, how could I live with myself? I would feel like a scummy coward forever.

Nothing, I would just pass out.

Wait… do you mean shoot someone in my place, or shoot me AND someone else?

Does this scenario require that one person will be shot no matter what the pleas are from all of the hostages, or is there a chance that we could collectively convince the assailant that none of us deserved to die?

“Half of my family is in the police department here. You shoot me, and they WILL shoot you, probably more than necessary, hostages or not. Your call.”
This is assuming he/she can be reasoned with, and that no one has to die, it’s just that he’s getting desperate.

@ANef_is_Enuf @Pied_Pfeffer He will shoot someone if his demands are not made he is just sizing up who will go 1st and second and so on until he is killed or he gets what he wants.

Okay, well, again, I don’t see myself rolling over so that someone else will die. Can’t say for sure unless I’m actually in that position, but I don’t see myself doing that.

Otherwise, I’ve always been taught that giving yourself an identity and remaining calm and speaking gently and in a friendly manner is the best way to go. It may sound odd, but I’ve heard that the most important thing to do is to make (not maintain) eye contact and introduce yourself, using your first name. So if I had to say something and it wasn’t going to cost someone else their life, I would definitely work on re-humanizing myself to the shooter.

Thank you for the clarification. In that case, I’d ask what the demands were to let us all go without any bodily harm. There is the off-chance that one of us would have a connection to someone that could help the assailant.

In the meantime, if we were forced to state our reasons for sparing our lives, it would depend upon who is there and how they answered. If the collective were mainly children, I’d say, “Shoot me.” If the group was comprised of the elderly who offered themselves up first, it would be painful to say it, but the response would be, “I am engaged to be married for the first time and really want to spend the rest of my life in his company taking care of him.”

“If you let me live I’ll help you dispose of the bodies”.

Fuck you, you piece of worthless shit. I’d rather die than pander to your pathetic, juvenile games. Fuck you.

I’d want to try talking the person out of shooting anyone. If the person was the type that I knew would not listen to any reason…I’d simply ask if I could write a note to my loved ones (to get from my body). I really do not think I could put someone else in my place. So, I guess I’d take the bullet.

@FutureMemory Will you be helping them dispose of @meiosis body? I think one of you might live longer and I don’t think I have to tell you which. ;-)

“GODDAMNIT, I’VE GOT WORK TO DO!”
Followed by a lengthy description of my work until they fall asleep.

@Hypocrisy_Central Yes.

If we wait a little bit Gazza will turn up with some chicken

Then fuck you too @FutureMemory, you collaborator ;)

If I still have 2 minutes I’d ask him to give me that time to call family and close friends to tell them I’ll be dead soon ^^

I have no guarantee that if I start to beg he’ll have mercy so I prefer doing something useful.

Shoot me if you like, but you are already in to deep. You are surrounded by cops, statistically you are fucked. If you kill me now you will just be adding to your sentence. However, let me live, and I will help you muddy the water in court, and try to help you.

Trust me, you don’t want to do this. Its the others that are to blame, I know you just did this for the money. C’mon, don’t throw your life away like this, let me help you out and let the other assholes take the blame.

Even if you get out of this some how, do you really think the others will give you your cut and not try to kill you?

Let me go, and I can start feeding the cops outside false information right now.

….

NO!, I’m still going to kill you!

…

Ok, well can you do me one last favor. Could you stab me to death instead? maybe cut my head of, or set me on fire. It has been a life long deam of mine to die in a horrible way. I find it exciting.

Why dont you all just kick me to death, youldn’t that be cool? c’mon man, untie me and fuck me up. Oh oh! no… hehehe, give me a gun, and I’ll run outside and shoot the fucking cops. If I don’t shoot them you just shoot me. Lets have some fun.

(if he hands me a weapon i shoot him regardless of consequence)

…

my plan fails

…

I try to hurt him some how, roll and bite, something. Just to cause the cunt some pain.

The person holding the gun would have a very hard time holding me because we would both be very wet after I peed my pants. I don’t think there would be much talking.

I would say the following
If you shoot me, I promise you that my spirit will seek you out and invade you body. It will dedicate itself to making you suffer chronic pain and degenerative disease but keep you alive for decades while you suffer and use up all of your money, and languish in a nursing facility. Get ready.

@josie I am not sure that is the best strategy. What if the guy is an atheist and just shoots you because you pissed him off? Of course an atheist is unlikely to get into a situation where he has to take hostages.

I’m not gonna be the one mopping that shit up

@poisonedantidote I gave you a great answer because you seem to have thought this out. I also find it disturbing because you have thought this out.

Shoot me in 3 minutes as I talk rantlessly and get out of jail free card if you call this number. 1–900-000–0911

“You don’t wanna shoot me, you big silly! Now give me that gun & we can put an end to all this nonsense.”
This hostage taker has most likely got several social anxiety conditions, it’s a cry for help & i’m going to sit down & thrash it out with him. Probably end up giving the guy a big cuddle as he sobs his little heart out. It’s a gift I know ;¬}

I have a closet full of Playboys in my room locked away. They’re all yours if you spare me.

“Did I mention that there’s a bomb in my head?”

If you fire that gun, it will malfunction and blow up in your hand. I have on good authority that this will happen. I am with the FBI.

Do you like animals?
If you shoot me you will murdering my pets as well, as they will be left alone to their fates without my care.

If that didn’t work I’d offer to give the guy a blow job! lololol

Spare ME and I’ll give YOU a happy ending!

“Glad to see I’ll be going out with a bang.”

As witness to my awful sense of humor, he’ll shoot himself instead.

spoken in a calm tone

“Look, if you kill me, things are gonna get really bad around here real fast. You’ll lose your bargaining power with those men outside and you don’t want to do that. Killing any one of us is a lose-lose proposition. Right now, none of us pose any threat to you. All we want to do is go home to our families safe and sound. Now since I’m pretty sure you want to get out of here alive as much as we do, I suggest you put the gun down and let’s talk. Maybe we find a way to get everyone what they need here.”

At least, I’d like to think this is what I’d come up with

@dverhey Death by pun…I like it

[NSFW] I’ve got HUGE, suckable boobs and I love giving blow jobs! :P

@ANef_is_Enuf So if I had to say something and it wasn’t going to cost someone else their life, I would definitely work on re-humanizing myself to the shooter. They do say trying to get the potential killer to see you as human and have empathy for you is a very good tactic.

@FutureMemory “If you let me live I’ll help you dispose of the bodies”. Even if you couldn’t or wouldn’t help them really making them think you are with them more than against might buy you some time IMO.

@koanhead Followed by a lengthy description of my work until they fall asleep. That might backfire, he may get bored with you and shoot just to shut you up. ;-)

@poisonedantidote You almost had me convinced. If anything you might bamboozle him enough to get his guard down to make a play.

@Ron_C The person holding the gun would have a very hard time holding me because we would both be very wet after I peed my pants. ROFL Man I am still getting a chuckle from that. Thanks dude, made my day HAHAHAHAHAHA…….

@erichw1504 *_Creative if not effective. Atta boy for that one.
If you fire that gun, it will malfunction and blow up in your hand. I have on good authority that this will happen. I am with the FBI. Playboys work better than saying you are FBI, if he believes you he will just choke you and squeeze extra hard.

@Dr_Dredd “Did I mention that there’s a bomb in my head?” Creative but he will just shoot you in the heart, game over. ;-)

@Raven_Rising Reasoning may get you some tractions, maybe even more than boobs.

@WillWorkForChocolate [NSFW] I’ve got HUGE, suckable boobs and I love giving blow jobs! :P Better make sure you can bite it off and incapacitate him. You don’t want him shooting a wad down the gullet and shooting you in the head still when he is done. If he goes for a nipple suck, better have a hard head for a head butt to knock him out Do he get to drip chocolate on them first? :-)

Okay so i was going to answer until i saw @Hypocrisy_Central just destroy everyones answer and take it a little to serious..

You’d better fucking shoot me…because if you don’t, the minute your eyes come off of me and that your gun no longer points to my head, your soul is mine.

See if messin with him would help. What else am I gonna say? Don’t kill me, and I’ll suck your dick? Fuck that lol.

“Go on. You won’t do it. Pussy.” and various other taunts, so that he loses his edge and I can roll back and knock the gun away.

“Oh, thank God! I haven’t been able the muster to do it myself! You are a truly great man!” this is incorrect, and his head will explode as a result.