Social Question

Symbeline's avatar

(NSFW) Immature, but a question for fun; what's something unique you've heard someone say that indicates going for a number two?

Asked by Symbeline (30363 points ) June 8th, 2011

A silly question just for fun.

Going for a number two, for some who might not know, means going to take a dump. (pooping lol)

There are many things people say when they’re wanting to let everyone know that they’re going for a number two. (usually due to explain an interference in a social activity, not just for the sake of letting everyone know lol)

Things like, ’‘dropping a brown baby boy’’, ’‘I’m gonna go rule on the ceramic throne’’, ’‘drop a bomb’’ or ’‘Imma go contemplate life’’.

A few weekends ago, my friend’s boyfriend had to go, and he’s all like, I’m gonna go destroy the bathroom.’’ I laughed lol.

What have you heard? And do you say anything weird or funny for this situation? Number ones are also included.

Words of wisdom; why is it called taking a dump when you’re actually leaving a dump?

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62 Answers

Blueroses's avatar

Peel the wallpaper
Drop the kids off at the pool
Go to the library
Do some paperwork

those all come from my dad. He’s a freak.

Symbeline's avatar

Paperwork lol.

MilkyWay's avatar

“I’m going to sit on my throne.”
That came from my dad, hinting he’s gonna take a while. Like @Blueroses said, my dad’s a freak.

TexasDude's avatar

My roommate always says “I’m going to go make that toilet my bitch.”

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Gracious. I hadn’t thought about this in years. As a child, it was referred to a ‘grunny grunce’. Maybe it was ‘grunny grunts’. It was long before I could spell or read. I have no clue if it is a family term. I’ll have to ask Mom and the siblings.

Symbeline's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard LOL I completely love that. Tell your friend he wins first prize.

@queenie Dads being freaky are cool. My dad didn’t say anything before going, just warned me that if I had to go, the time was now. But when he came out he was all like, careful, it doesn’t smell like roses in there lol.

@Pied_Pfeffer Well, that works lol. Either way I read it, it sounds gross. XD

faye's avatar

My daughter calls it, ‘taking care of business’ so she goes for ‘business meetings’.

sarahsugs's avatar

My husband was in the habit of informing me when he was going to go take a poop, until I told him it grossed me out and he was no longer allowed to tell me, at which point he substituted saying that he was going to Saskatchewan. It was funny and it stuck.

Blueroses's avatar

well, Sym, you proved it. Nothing brings everybody together like a good poop/fart discussion :-)

Symbeline's avatar

@faye That’s awesome. Using a classic expression, but adding a complete flare to it. Buisness meeting lol.

@sarahsugs Lol. I gotta say, that’s pretty unique and cool. :)

@Blueroses I have many skills. (that’s totally a reference to something that has nothing to do with poop XD)

muppetish's avatar

Sticking true to the fact that we are from the a generation addicted to technology, my younger cousin refers to said bathroom activity as “downloading.”

MilkyWay's avatar

Oh yeah, just remembered something. No offense to any French jellies, I personally love the French.
My uncle calls it, “I’m going to take a trip to France…”
I asked him why he says that, he replied “Because France is famous for it’s perfumes.”
EEww

Symbeline's avatar

@muppetish Never heard that one, but it’s an instant classic. I guess if you’re constipated, you might say, I’m experiencing lag. XD

@queenie I was born in France in a city called Limoges; and I’m not even trying to be funny here; it’s a city famous for its ceramic and porcelain works. XD

faye's avatar

@Symbeline That would be ‘meeting cancelled’ and ‘meeting cancelled again

Blackberry's avatar

Taking the Browns to the Superbowl LOL!

Symbeline's avatar

@Blackberry LOL nice. :D

@faye Haha, rather fitting, too. XD

mcbealer's avatar

“making room for more.”
a very precocious little girl named Aurora, aged 2

forestGeek and I are fluthering side by side on the couch <3

forestGeek's avatar

My fave is I’ll be in the office, handling the Brown account.

Another is the brown bear is peeking it’s head out the cave door.

When I was a kid we would call it a Big Job. Still, as an adult, l laugh when someone says something like whew, I have a Big Job ahead of me. Hehehehehahahha…..

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I was going to say “taking the Browns to the Superbowl,” but since that one was taken.. I’ll go for “dropping the kids off at the pool.”

KateTheGreat's avatar

“There’s a little brown snake trying to exit my anus, BRB.”

Symbeline's avatar

@forestGeek That completely reminds me of three expressions people use here, when they want to indicate that it’s high time to take a dump and it just won’t take no for an answer anymore; I have a cigar on the edge of my lips, I have a marker doodling the bottom of my undies, and the new stuff is pushing out all the old stuff. (all in French though)
Nice ones. :)

@KatetheGreat That’s completely twisted. Love it. :D

@ANef_is_Enuf That was taken too, but since it’s classic, it’s a okay. :D

@mcbealer That’s cute and creepy at the same time. :D

creative1's avatar

I try to keep it nice I say I am going to do a doogie

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I read the thread again and I still missed it. I think that’s my cue to have a beer and go to bed. haha.

Symbeline's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf Try the first post. Then let’s have a beer! :D

@creative1 Nice, although to me that sounds more like smoking a joint lol.

woodcutter's avatar

“Scuse me while I go push out a Texan.
Inspired from some reading material found on a wall inside small blue house

Here I sit, buns a flexin…
Just gave birth to a 2 pound texan

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

I am going to do an Al Bundy.

creative1's avatar

@Symbeline Now if I was going to smoke a joint which I don’t do, but if I did, I would say I am going to have a fat one. Because if you are going to bother doing something illegal you might as well do it right.

Symbeline's avatar

It just reminded of doobie lol.

creative1's avatar

Ahhhhhh now I get it

Blueroses's avatar

Gonna drown some republicans. lol

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Symbeline oh my jeez. WOW. That was exceptionally oblivious, even for me.

Blueroses's avatar

no worries @ANef_is_Enuf. I forgot to take off my invisibility cloak.

majorrich's avatar

I am about to make parts of the house unsuitable for human habitation.
I am off to give birth to another prom baby

ovisaries's avatar

“I gotta drop a deuce” i was also going to say I’m takin the browns to the super bowl.

Jude's avatar

Lay cable. Drop a deuce. Feed the fish. Drop the Cosby kids off at the pool (bad, I know).

My girlfriend always says about her cat (who’s litterbox is in the bathroom)” “Maggie, blew this place up!” And, it’s true. She’s a stanky feline.

bob_'s avatar

“I’m gonna release the otters into the river.”

mazingerz88's avatar

“I’m going to meditate.”
“Gonna release the Kraken.”
“Baby elephant time.”
“I’m going to confession.”
“Gonna drop some weight.”
“Gonna desecrate the toilet.”
“Reunion with the burrito.”

ucme's avatar

“I’m touching cloth here, better run!”
“Ooh, there’s a turtles head peeking outta my arse!”

koanhead's avatar

Best I’ve heard to date: “I’m off to visit the Loaf Depository.”

Runner-up: “Gonna go push some mud.”

Stinley's avatar

@forestGeek in Scotland they are sometimes called jobbies. English people sometime talk about a jobby meaning a small job. Makes me snigger.

My husband goes for a wee and usually doesn’t say anything in particular, but when it’s a jobby he will announce that he’s off to the toilet. I always try to embarrass him at this point as he is a bit sensitive on this subject, by saying ‘Off for a poo?’. Though why he announces it when he knows I’ll do this is beyond me.

ShanEnri's avatar

The only unique ones I’ve heard are going to the recycling center. And I have a dooty (duty) to do.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I usaually say things after I poop. Things like “I filled the commode” and ” everyone needs to check this out, look how big its” or if its alot ” look how much came out of my ass”.

Leanne1986's avatar

My brother calls it “dropping the kids off at the pool”.

My boyfriend calls it “having a crunch”.

Edit: I forgot one. I once heard someone say that they had a turtles head at the ready. My boyfriend has also reffered to it as “having one in the departure lounge”!

forestGeek's avatar

@Stinley – jobby! I love it!! :)

@mazingerz88 – “I’m going to confession” is a great one. I grew up in Catholic schools and I wish I knew that one back then!

rebbel's avatar

Going to knit a brown sweater.
Downloading.
Tear open a bag of potting soil.

Stinley's avatar

@forestGeek I am a little sad that poo has overtaken jobby in popularity

Blueroses's avatar

@rebbel Oh the lulz when I read your answer and thought I was on the spiritual haiku thread!

mcbealer's avatar

@Symbeline ~ what’s creepy – sittin’ beside @forestGeek, or making room for more? ;)

Ladymia69's avatar

“Pinch a loaf.” Gross.

I have a Southern baptist friend whom I observed asking her kid if he needed to “go make”. I thought that was just really…childish.

Symbeline's avatar

@Ladymia69 Yeah…and a little creepy, too. :/

…go make? Srsly?

majorrich's avatar

Brown trout

talljasperman's avatar

Going boom boom.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@talljasperman adventure time :P

majorrich's avatar

Sending a message to Congress.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

update Lately I tell people I have to “feed the sharks”, or I have to do a “download with paperwork”.

talljasperman's avatar

Take a crap… worship the porcelain god.

Yetanotheruser's avatar

Doin’ a boo-boo?

Yetanotheruser's avatar

@Talljasperman Isn’t “worship” usually done on your knees in front if said god?

talljasperman's avatar

@Yetanotheruser Yes you are on your hands and knees barfing up in a toilet while hugging said toilet.

Yetanotheruser's avatar

Although at one time or another I remember feeling so ill in both directions that I did not know which way to point at the bowl!

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