If I have been physically abusive towards my girlfriend is it possible for me to get help and it actually work?
So my girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now. We have an amazing relationship. We are both really good about talking out our feelings, understanding one another, and giving space when needed, etc. About 3 times now so far when we drink we get in fights over things that don’t matter and they escalate quickly and I end up punching her or getting physically abusive in some way shape or form. I am not saying she deserves it or anything like that but neither one of us are innocent, but I am the one who brings it to the actual physical level. Anyways, so it only happens when we drink and I already suggested to her that I quit drinking. She said it wasn’t necessary as we are both young and we like going out, etc. Each time after an incident happens, I stop drinking for a few weeks, and when I do end up going out and having some drinks with her I control my drinking and will only have 1–2 drinks and things are fine for a while. Like I said, the actual fights have happened so far 3 times and I don’t want to hurt her ever. The moment I hit her I snap out of whatever rage I am in and immediately I feel like a complete scum bag and wish I could turn back the clock. I am going to see a therapist about my behavior along with quitting drinking. These incidents only happen when we have liquor in our systems, but I feel like even with quitting drinking that somewhere inside me I still might have that rage or anger. Is it just the alcohol? Or is it something in me?? I really care for her and her daughter so much, and I don’t want to lose them. I want to get help for myself and for them so we can have a life together and a future. Ive never hit any of my other ex’s before but when I was straight I had an ex-boyfriend hit me before on a few occasions.
So, my question is – do you think that getting help will actually help me? Is it possible to change? Obviously anyone can change if they want to change-and I DO. But is it REALLY possible? I’ve read a lot of articles on this and its scaring me because so many people say that once an abuser, always an abuser. I want to take control of my emotions/actions before they take control of me…