General Question

SuperMouse's avatar

Are slacks appropriate to wear to a funeral?

Asked by SuperMouse (30733 points ) June 20th, 2011

I am going to a funeral tomorrow and was planning to wear black slacks and a dressy shirt with nice shoes. I just searched Fluther to double check that I don’t have to wear all black (The Collective came through), but there were several admonitions about not wearing slacks. The only nice dress I have is the one I was married in and I really don’t want to wear that to a funeral. Are dress slacks appropriate or should I borrow a dress?

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22 Answers

BarnacleBill's avatar

How formal is the deceased’s family? A good test would be, if you were escorted by a man wearing a suit and tie, how mismatched would you look?

chyna's avatar

Yes, slacks are appropriate. My mom died in January and I can tell you who came to her service but I can’t tell you what they wore because I didn’t care about their clothes, just that they came to acknowledge her life and passing.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

What you have described is just fine.

lillycoyote's avatar

Sure, I think it’s fine. I wore pants to my mother’s memorial service and to many others. Your choice of how to dress is perfectly appropriate.

Edit: Cut off jeans and tube top, no, of course not, but @chyna is right, what matters is that you’re there.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Of course slacks are appropriate. What is this, 1890?

JLeslie's avatar

The only time I would say it is innappropriate is if there is some sort of religious service where women don’t wear slacks typically. I always see women in pants at funerals, should be fine. I think slacks are more formal than skirts with no hose, unless the skirt is very long, and it is hot for hose in most of the country.

gailcalled's avatar

I wore beige linen slacks and a navy top to my mother’s funeral on May 28. My sister wore black slacks and a long-sleeved white cotton top. My cousin wore white pants and a beige top
My niece wore navy slacks and a floral top.

bkcunningham's avatar

Yes, slacks will be fine.

gailcalled's avatar

P.S. The temperature was in the low 90’s and we made sure to have the short service outside and under a huge leafy oak tree (with an oriole there to serenade my mother on her last trip.) The rabbi wore a suit and tie and looked ready to have sunstroke. Everyone else dressed in a conservative but sensible fashion, given the heat.

The five-month old wore a onesie, the 16-month old Oshkosh jeans, and the 5 and 7-year olds were in shorts and clean tee-shirts.

jonsblond's avatar

I wore black capris to my friend’s funeral recently. I noticed everything from suits to jean shorts and Hawaiian shirt.

Like @chyna said, no one will remember what you wore (especially those who were closest to the deceased). unless it’s a Hawaiian shirt. I remembered that. ;)

gailcalled's avatar

I went to a memorial service for a friend late last autumn. One of her cousins spoke, apparently off-the-cuff, and he was wearing hunting camouflage. Why not?

aprilsimnel's avatar

I wore black slacks to the last funeral I attended last May. It’s OK.

plethora's avatar

Just a suggestion…..if the only nice dress you have is the one you were married in, it might be time to buy another one, perhaps one that is in style, depending on how long ago you got married.

augustlan's avatar

Definitely fine.

Amazebyu's avatar

I don’t see why not. As long as you feel comfortable in it.

Bellatrix's avatar

@plethora, I am pretty sure @SuperMouse only recently got married.

Slacks should be fine @SuperMouse.

SABOTEUR's avatar

There are few things I regret. Missing my godmother’s funeral, as a kid, is one of them. (I used to visit her every summer…a glorious vacation!)

The reason I missed her funeral was because I wasn’t allowed to go. My mother wouldn’t let me go because…

I didn’t have anything appropriate to wear.

To this day, I cannot comprehend why clothing takes preference over being present to pay one’s last respects.

For a “civilized” society, we sure entertain a lot of fucked up values.

AshlynM's avatar

I’ve seen people wearing jeans and a t shirt to both the wake and the funeral.

Dark or neutral colors would work best if you’re uncertain about what to wear. You should treat a funeral as if you’re going to work or a business meeting. Professional or business casual wear is best.

The key is not to draw attention to yourself, people are not there to see you.

Slacks should be fine, along with a nice dress shirt and dress shoes.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Plethora I was married in March, the dress I wore was not a wedding gown and it is actually quite stylish. @Bellattix thanks and lurve!

plethora's avatar

@SABOTEUR I understand your feelings here and unfortunately my mother would have probably done the same thing. What I don’t understand is why you generalize to society. This was your mother’s action, not “society’s” action.

plethora's avatar

@SuperMouse Aaaah….I apologize for the comment

SABOTEUR's avatar

@plethora Though that particular action can be attributed to Mom, (I believe) society as a whole often places too much emphasis on irrelevant things or actions.

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