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leopardgecko123's avatar

What is this feeling I'm having?

Asked by leopardgecko123 (761 points ) June 21st, 2011

I really don’t know what this emotion is. Every time I think about or talk to God about it, I start crying. It is a really deep feeling. It feels like a huge mix between sorrow, anger, fear, and loneliness. I get sad when I think about but get angry because I can’t figure out what this feeling is. I’m angry because I don’t want this feeling and I’m scared because it feels like whatever this is, it’s not good. I feel like it will take me over if I keep thinking about it. I feel alone now more than ever. You know that loneliness you feel inside, whether you’re around people or not? That’s what I have. I know God is always with me, but sometimes it’s really hard to see it. I’m afraid to tell anybody I know about this because I’m scared I’ll just start bawling and won’t be able to talk. I rarely ever cry in front of people because I feel judged. I’ve talked to God about this a lot and for some reason I kind of felt led to go here for help. Maybe God is leading me to one of you who can help. And please don’t suggest a councilor (don’t know if I spelled it right) because I don’t feel at all comfortable sharing my feelings with complete strangers.

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13 Answers

Magdalene's avatar

Hey! cheer up man! You said right that God is guiding you to us to help you. My dear you are his holy messenger. you already told that you talk to God so much. This simply means you are near to him. It happens that many a times we feel so alone, but that doesn’t mean we are just left outs. God prepares us to stand alone and lead the mob. Some same thing is happening with you, I suppose. In case you feel so depressed, try and read out more holy scriptures. Read about Joel & Victoria Osteens’s blog that based on your situation when people feel lost.

Judi's avatar

You’re probably feeling vulnerable when you bare your soul to God.
When I feel this way I sing:
“Create in me a clean heart oh God
And renew a right Spirit within me
Cast me not away from thy presence oh Lord
And take not thy Holy Spirit from me
Restore unto me, the joy of thy salvation
And renew a right Spirit within me.”

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mazingerz88's avatar

You have POWER within you, unique and one you can tap as a source of joy and comfort with or without your God’s affectations. You already KNOW yourself better than anyone else, now is the perfect time to also FEEL for who you are. Have FAITH in a TRUTH you perceive as the GOOD but you must also BELIEVE in YOU.

So face who you are and remind yourself of the good you have done over the bad. And if you find the bad outweighs the good then stand up and rectify. Smile at somebody, lend a hand and with your heart, love unconditionally. Act now to lessen the wonderings and the wanderings. Supress restlessness with gentle thoughts, agitation with gratitude, confusion with consolation. Becalm. Become.

Pandora's avatar

Do you feel guilty about something? Sometimes guilt can make us feel closed off from the world because we fear judgement. Even closed off from God, because we fear his judgement would be worst of all.
What @SABOTEUR suggested is a good idea. I find very few people take the time to pause and just take a deep breath and you start to feel overwhelmed. Also what @Judi suggested is a good idea.
I know when I am feeling really sad I’ll read the bible for some guidance and have a good cry till I fall asleep. look at all the good things around me. People, birds, the sky, or rain or even just the grass. It usually is enough to just make me smile. Even just feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. I always feel Gods love most in nature. I’ll start to feel maybe I’m looking at everything wrong. Sometimes we feel lonely because we cause our own loneliness. The same way we caused it to happen, we can undo what we did to cause it.
But a good cry is necessary to clear the cob webs. I hope this makes sense. I didn’t want to leave you without help if I could help you. But its been a long day and I’m fighting sleep and my train of thought is wandering. If you wish to speak more tomorrow. Feel free to PM me later.
For now, know you are not alone. I’m here to listen and help if I can.

augustlan's avatar

Restlessness and/or depression, maybe?

thorninmud's avatar

This is a state recognized by many spiritual traditions, often called the dark night of the soul because the feeling was so well expressed in a poem by that title written by St. John of the Cross.

That’s the Christian version of the experience, but the same experience is acknowledged—and even considered indispensable—in many other faiths, including mine (Buddhism). It isn’t depression, though it is a crisis of sorts. The crisis is a result of recognizing that everything one thought one knew about oneself/God/reality is worthless, and an intense longing sets in for a more genuine and direct experience that is beyond ideas.

The “dark night” is that lonely space in which one no longer finds comfort in the familiar, but feels moved to leave the “known”—including oneself—behind and surrender to something greater but unknowable.

This kind of experience can be very confusing and scary. Even people much older than you often react to these feelings by retreating back into their distractions and habits. You may find that you do the same. But chances are that this will keep resurfacing for you at various points in your life. One of those times, you may have the boldness to press on into that “night” and discover that it leads to your true home.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Desperation? Are you unemployed? Have nothing to do? Feel like you are not in control? .

Find a simple task you can do now and complete it. It can be anything: clean out a drawer, do laundry, water the plants. Something productive. You are in control.
Now do another task.
Live life.

Photosopher's avatar

“It feels like a huge mix between sorrow, anger, fear, and loneliness. I get sad when I think about but get angry because I can’t figure out what this feeling is.”

That’s how I define shame. Don’t worry, it’s not terminal.

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