Those who have decided to be alone by choice - how's that working for you?

It’s great! I date people but get bored and claustrophobic within a month. I move every few months so it’s not like I’m seeking something serious anyway. As far as missing sex, I don’t. I have lots of sex. “Get permission?” I’ve never gotten permission from a BF to do anything. I’m more interested in spending time with/making friends, and having one night stands/weekend flings on the side. I highly recommend this lifestyle! I’ll have plenty of time to be monogamous when I’m married one day!

In the end nothing rhymed anymore, so we broke up.
After that i guess you could say that i decidedly stayed alone, for about eight years.
The first, lets say, four, five years i wasn’t feeling lonely.
The lack of sex did not bother me that much again, the first couple of years.
To do what i pleased, whenever, however i wanted to was quite refreshing although i didn’t struggle with that while being a couple with my then girlfriend.
I woulldn’t give recommendations about being alone or not.

I’m not alone, by choice or otherwise, but I have to say that I love the topics “alone again”, “naturally”, and “Gilbert O’Sullivan” before/in case they get removed by some mysterious force. LOVE IT.

I love it. I don’t get lonely, my daughter’s on Fluther so I won’t discuss the sex thing, and not having to run stuff by another person is really nice. That said, I’m alone because relationships were always painful for me, I just seriously suck at them. But @zen , I’m happy and I wouldn’t change it.

You sound like an extremely fun person to be around.

I was alone for 6 years in the past. The only thing that made me feel lonely then was the absence of a woman who would want to see me at the end of each day.

Choosing to live without a monogamous relationship isn’t the same as “friendless”, “loveless” or “sexless” so being lonely isn’t an issue. I enjoy being independent and autonomous and having all of the pillows on the bed. There are no euphoric highs that go along with romantic love but also no soul-crushing lows. It works for me.

I’ve never seen it work to be honest. Those I know that try to do it end up dating someone within a few months, or hooking up with a lot of random people.

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who was just completely alone relationship wise. Which is probably normal anyways, since we’re social creatures.

@rockfan Me?

It’s the best! Being in a one-to-one is not healthy for me!

@tedd : I meant romantic relationships. I have many social relationships, good friends, casual friends, people I just like to be around, people I can tell all my secrets to, that sort of thing. It’s annoying that so many people buy into the pervasive media hype that one must be partnered to be happy. I’ve dodged a couple of bullets by realizing that I was not cut out for that, and saved three guys the misery of me discovering that after I married them. I think most of the people you know must be pretty young if you don’t know any single-by-choice folks.

I have chosen to be single for the last 5 years or so. Divorced after 22 years of marriage 8.5 years ago and was single for about a year and a half, doing my ‘work’, then dated an ex high school crush for 2 years, 27 years after the fact. lol

We had a great time, but distance ( we were 50 miles apart ) and my non desire for a bigger commitment trumped the relationship. We are still good friends and I know I could count on him for anything.

I had one other on again/off again exploration a couple of years ago, but, again, it was a long distance thing, and there was no way I would relocate for anyone these days.

I really, really, love being single after years of relationship, I am rarely lonely, love my cool little house, fixed up just the way I like it, I love sleeping in my bed alone, no one snoring, pushing me to the edge of the bed, disturbing my beauty sleep. haha

Sex? Well….my ex bf was THE best sex of a lifetime, I do miss that, but, not enough to have a FWB arrangement, not my style. I DO have a few toys and, of course, my ongoing joke about the turbo jets in my hot tub. lol

I’m content, happy, at peace, I don’t need anything externally ( except money ) to be a happy little woodsprite. :-D

@JilltheTooth I meant romantic relationships too.

Then my point stands.

IMO anyone that gets to the far side of 40 something and is so uncomfortable within themselves that they desperately continue to seek relationship instead of learning to enjoy their own company and work out their neurotic issues, has a lot of work to do.

Love is a CHOICE, not a ‘need.’ And there are many sources of love that do not have to involve the penis-vagina connection.

@Coloma I wanna be just like you :) You’re my new crush!

@atlantis

Haha, why thank you! Well..it’s been a long strange trip, but, aaah, the age of wisdom has arrived. ;-)

♪♪ This is the dawning of the age of Coloma-ness…♪

@Blueroses

“Coloma-ness” Sounds like a new perfume “Coloma-ness”, smell like a sage LOL

I’m been on my own for three and a half years after a brief marriage that followed my first marriage of 21 years. Both marriages ended up being quite unpleasant. If I think back to those days I quickly realise how lucky I am.

I miss having a special person in my life and shopping on my own is a particularly bleak experience. I am seldom lonely however and I fill my days quite satisfactorily. I have had a few dates without any spark or chemistry but I have close family and two nice kids. These I can rely on.

I had thought at first I would like to meet someone else, but find I am no longer trying. Relationships are so fraught with difficulty however well they start. Yes, I miss the sex at times and I miss the companionship. I have a 40th wedding anniversary to attend next month and it would be nice to go with a partner but that isn’t going to happen.

@flutherother

Adopt my philosophy. 20 acres, 2 houses, a picnic table in the middle. That’s as close as I’ll ever get to living with someone ever again. lol Actually, come to think of it, make that 60 acres. lol

Eventually you get used to being alone and even embrace it. If you don’t think about the lack of sex, then you don’t miss it.

@Blueroses Ay yeah, all those soft pillows. :D ALL FOR ME!!

I like being alone. I was in a serious relationship for a good while, but it’s over and I’m on my own. I don’t dislike it at all. I don’t think I’m really cut out for the couple life, and as I envision myself growing old and swearing at enemies in my video games or rooting for a killer in a horror flick, I look forward to it.

But srsly folks. I won’t recommend it because others may not feel like me, but to me, it’s just fine, at least right now.