[NSFW-ish] Dudes: if your "appendage" could talk, what would it say?

Are we there yet?

Mine is tucked in my boot. <muffling sounds>

“Hook me up with one of those Fluther chicks already!”

“I’m sorry, was that too soon Erich?”

This is sweeeeeeeeeet! Mm-mm. Let’s do it some more!

Help me get this piece of fuzz out of my eye.

Are we staying home for dinner again? I feel like Chinese…

Mine would sing…... most probably (NSFW)

We should go spelunking…
Why does it smell like fish in here?

Look, I know I’ve gotten us into some trouble in the past, but that’s all ancient history….now go talk to that pretty girl over there with the big boobs.

“C’mon, click those pop ups already, those pills really work! ”

“Why are you applying lotion to me so vigorously?”

Do no one’s dicks ever complain of being shoved into a wetsuit and forced to do push-ups til they throw up? Just wondering.

Can I go in that hole?

Unhand me you dastardly fiend!

There’s a funny story that goes with this…

( utter in Cartman’s voice from South Park )

Hey, how many times do I have to tell you I hate pussies and I hate stinky asses even more! Why don’t you try it and see if you like being shoved in and out of that suffocating death trap, while drowning in slimy acidic juices and being face to face with ready to go feces!

Getting sucked is what I want! Yeah! And make sure you get me between her boobs ok?! And keep slapping me in her face every two minutes, slap right, slap left! And for heaven’s sake keep your eyes open! Because that macho dude you called friend keeps licking me when you’re not looking! Where do you get these friends huh?! Have you no decency, sir? Have yah?

“How do you like my braids?”

“Tell her that if she’s not more careful with her teeth, I will not be liable if something gets in her eyes.”

I’m a dick!?! Fuck you Bro! You’re the dick!!!

“GAARRHHGGGGAHHH!!! Sorry, I drank way too much.

Choke me one more time I am going to spit white gunk in your face or puke it all over your satin sheets.

“I understand you’re lonely, but this chafing ain’t going away anytime soon.”

Again?!

“If you don’t get us some action soon, I’m gonna pack up my balls and leave!”

Want to see something swell? Touch me.

“No lurve for the singing cock eh? I spit in ya eye!”

@ucme beware the biter mate.

Mine, something of a (self-described admittedly) vagina whisperer would give lectures coast to coast, possibly some Ted appearances, and pursue its PhD in communication at Harvard, with honours.

@zen cum laude I have no doubt

So how cum no lurve?

@zen here is some lurve cumming your way.

Cum on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xBG_d-_6bc

Question – I want you to go to 1:35 on the clip – well song, in this case. How do I make it so the link goes straight to that second? Someone told me once and I forgot.

“You married the right one.”

@_zen_ You need to add a time stamp at the end: #t=1m35s.

“What is that knobbly thing in there? It feels like a nose…”

@WillWorkForChocolate I see what you did there…

What is the deal? Why do you keep sticking me in that damp, dark cave, dragging me back and forth, you are trying to smother me?!?

“Harry and Larry are making fun of me!”