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Mr_Saturn512's avatar

What was your longest fart/burp ever?

Asked by Mr_Saturn512 (327 points ) June 24th, 2011

I’m only asking because lately I’ve heard/seen some really bizarre stories that I just wonder if that’s possible.

I mean, one thing is to be gassy and let go a really big one. And that’s usually one event. But I heard the record was like 2 minutes. How the hell would you even get past five or so seconds? You’d have to have had some serious bloating going on or something. Of course, I can’t speak for people who are lactose intolerant or pregnant women or people with other conditions where it might be humanly possible to do so.

Also, specify if you’re a guy or girl and if you ate anything unusual/or too much of something at the time.

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17 Answers

Coloma's avatar

And the winner of the intellectual achievement award goes to…...

woodcutter's avatar

By the time I scramble to get my stop watch, the whole event is over.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I have to admit I have produced some prolonged and somewhat musical farts. I never thought to time them. It is not an accomplishment that requires much skill or intelligence.

Bellatrix's avatar

What I want to know, is why was this question recommended for me :-D…. Never timed either a burp or a fart…

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Is this “fart/burp” of yours a simultaneous activity? I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed them happening together before. Sounds suicidal.

Cruiser's avatar

This is actually a very funny/traumatic story for me. I was on the 8th grade wrestling team and the entire team was seated all around the coach and the star wrestler as he described techniques. I was sitting on a metal folding chair and felt this massive gas bubble in my gut. Thinking I could just let it silently slip out I leaned over to my right….to my horror this massive loud ripper (amplified further by the metal seat) shattered the silence in the room and chaos ensued as the entire team scrambled screaming and laughing for the exits all looking and pointing at a very embarrassed Cruiser! Oh man…no wonder I have issues!! XD

Bellatrix's avatar

Lol@cruiser… bet they didn’t want to get too close to that part of your anatomy in wrestling bouts after that!! Might have worked in your favour.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I’m quite surprised that some WWF Hooligan hasn’t adopted that identity in the stage ring.

“Ladies and Gentlemen… In this corner, The STINKLERRR!!!!! (pick your own rasberry)

Bellatrix's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I was going to ask @cruiser if he had a wrestling name that related to that incident.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Well he’s a better man than I to share such personal history. I cannot share my naked truths so easily. I just hope his school colors were on the darker side.

zenvelo's avatar

My most prodigious fart was after being pumped full of air as part of a sigmoidoscopy. Loud loud loud, and long, it felt endless and I am sure every patient in the doctor’s office heard it. And every time I moved around getting dressed another one came down the pipes. That went on for half an hour.

Symbeline's avatar

Er, hmm. I’m not sure I have any epic fart stories. I haven’t had any burps or farts last much longer than a few seconds, although some morning farts I have often sound like a Viking battle horn.

Coloma's avatar

@Bellatrix

I vote for @Cruiser to be called ” The ripper” lol

Symbeline's avatar

@Cruiser

The mark of a true warrior. :)

Cruiser's avatar

@Symbeline That is what she said!! ;)

ucme's avatar

I believe it’s offically recorded that if a fart exceeds 8 seconds in length, the resulting “follow through” disqualifies the fart. By definition it’s now morphed into a small shite! ;¬}

sliceswiththings's avatar

When my brother farts, he says “Done” after. This is usually a couple seconds after I stop hearing it, meaning the end is silent. :)

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