Are children born a certain way, or do the parents have tremendous influence?
I thought of this question because of the recent Q’s regarding corporal punishment and creative techniques for disciplining and teaching children.
This question is to hopefully focus on what type of child a particular child is, not how they turn out as adults.
Some people have stated they had parents who were not strict, and they kind of self taught and entertained themselves. Had their own structure for their lives and found their way. In that case is it possible the parents were less strict, because they could see that child already did the right thing? Made sure he got enough sleep, and did what was expected without a bunch of rules and punishment?
Usually in families each child has their own temperament, but could that just be reflective of the place the parents are in mentally when they had each paricular child? More relaxed, tired, older, and not really that the child was born with a different temperament?
Does the parent who uses corporal punishment regularly (I read stats that a surprising number of people hit their child on average three times a week. Our fluther collective did not seem to use spanking in that way, I am talking about stats on other websites I read) have they created a situation that their child is less able to control themselves, and needs the threat of outside punishment to behave well? Or, is the parent reacting to a child who cannot control himself to begin with?