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Mikewlf337's avatar

(NSFW) What is your opinion on BDSM?

Asked by Mikewlf337 (6252 points ) July 7th, 2011

I am not into bdsm but whatever floats your boat. What is your opinion on it? Do you know anyone who is involved in it? What causes it?

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53 Answers

josie's avatar

To each his own. But not for me, thanks.

King_Pariah's avatar

I used to be on that scene, and well, it was fun then. Will I do it again? Probably not, but I wouldn’t mind adding some elements to make the sex a “bit” more kinky.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I couldn’t care less what anyone does in that regard.It’s not for me.

CaptainHarley's avatar

I use to know a few who were into that. They’re actually not any wierder than most of us, but just have this quirk about a type of dark sex which is really more illusion than reality. As long as they keep it kewl, I have no objections to them doing whatever they please in private interations between consenting adults.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I’m okay with it.

I kind of like it. It’s kinky and fun at times as long as it’s not too hardcore.

DrBill's avatar

I love it and live it 24/7

Mikewlf337's avatar

I can see why some like it. Since I have a fetish I can’t judge even if I didn’t get it. Pain can lead to pleasure according to those who are into it.

KateTheGreat's avatar

Along with the pain, you can have roleplay. The whole “master and slave” vibe can really turn some people on. The control factor is another thing that draws people to BDSM.

Mikewlf337's avatar

@KatetheGreat or Mistress and Slave lol. I am neither dominate or submissive (people think I am submissive sometimes on account of my foot fetish) but there is something sexy about a strong willed dominant woman. It can be fun.

jca's avatar

If someone likes having their hands tied, feet tied, being blindfolded, or are into sex toys, this qualifies as BDSM. Therefore, when people say they’re not into it, but they’re thinking only of hardcore stuff, they’re mistaken. I think many more are into it than they realize, due to people only thinking of the ultra-hardcore stuff.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

No problem if she asks. Not wanting to do it unprompted.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Mikewlf337 I’m more of a submissive. I am a pretty independent woman all day, so it feels good just to submit once in a while.

Symbeline's avatar

As long as all parties are willing and no harm is done, at least, unwanted harm, your show. I’ve dabbled in it myself a little, and I really liked it.

Mikewlf337's avatar

I would feel very bad if anyone in this thread is under 18 LOL. Is everyone on this thread consenting adults???

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Symbeline Well if you like BDSM, you’re gonna love our crazy Cthulu tentacle sex. :P

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I want to change my answer. All female BDSM is the best thing ever.

jca's avatar

sub here. ;)

Mikewlf337's avatar

Im too nice and gentle to be dominant lol. I would be a terrible master. I guess I am stuck being the submissive LOL.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Mikewlf337 Funny story. I once had a boyfriend who tried to be dominant. He was so completely awkward that every time he even tried to show dominance I’d just laugh and take over!

Symbeline's avatar

@KatetheGreat We’re gonna be rich. I bet you look totally hot with tentacles coming out of your forehead. Mmmm…:D

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Symbeline Wait till ya see what’s in my pants!

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@KatetheGreat If I am good in this life, do I come back as a lesbian?

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Only if you make necessary offerings to your dear lord Cthulu.

Facade's avatar

As long as no blood is drawn, I’m in =)

ETpro's avatar

I can get into it if that’s what my lover wants. Very much so. I’, a swithc, and can play either role. But it’s not a must-have thing with me. Unless with someone who already is into it, or wants to try, I’d never bring the subject up.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

@ETpro as long as we are discussing this, and I am drinking, again, thank you for the question:

I think we are on the same page. I never think, I want to dominate this woman.

If I am having sex with a woman, and she says, “treat me like your _____”, I suddenly get a huge wave of enthusiasm for acting in a dominant manner.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I’m a fan, although not necessarily into the more… hardcore aspects of it, as it were. I like the B/d more than the S/m, technically. A little pain can go a long ways (especially now that I’m not severely depressed.) But some spanking, tying each other up (or preferably, just tying me up), some role play, paddles, perhaps even some light whipping… fun times. I really have no idea why the humiliation aspect is in any way appealing, but god knows it gets me wet.

I’ve had many friends who were into it (actually, come to think of it, most of them). Most were into more of a fuzzy handcuffs kind of scene than anything else, but a few were into much more serious stuff. I have one friend who goes to the conventions every year.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Fine by me. It’s all good what is consensual.

efritz's avatar

I like, moderately. My partner attributes it to my repressed churchy childhood, so I guess I’m a stereotype.

wundayatta's avatar

Master/slave relationships are not necessarily BDSM. I guess I wouldn’t consider a bit of spanking to be crossing over that line. Nor would mere restraints get you there. That all seems pretty mild to me, and it’s about as much as I’d normally want.

Now if a woman really begged to be hurt, and I believed she really meant it, I think I might take that step. However since my wife isn’t into any of it—at least, not so far,—I doubt if I’ll ever get an opportunity. But I can definitely see myself giving in to the desires of a slave who trusted me and who I trusted completely. It would be an incredibly intimate thing, I think, and would open a lot of doors between us. I would imagine it is very freeing in a strange way, to humor a lover’s desires to have you give them pain in a sexually exciting situation.

I don’t know if many people can understand it. It seems so freaky. But it seems to me that it would be very much more intimate than anything I’ve ever done. I’ve never tried it, however, so all of this is in my imagination or in a kind of philosophical investigation. I could be totally off about it. Or expect too much.

ETpro's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Amen to that. My limit is doing actual harm, or having harm brought to me. That I will not do, and do not find the least bit erotic. It doesn’t work form me even in a harmless fantasy.

Hibernate's avatar

All [ everything ] is good if you know were to draw the line .

Bellatrix's avatar

If it works for the two people involved and nobody is uncomfortable or being coerced into doing anything they don’t want to do, I have no problem with it.

ucme's avatar

I sprayed some silly string on the wife once, does that count? She was sitting on the bed at the time ;¬}

syz's avatar

If it’s safe, sane, and consensual, it’s all cool.

CaptainHarley's avatar

@ucme

Oh, the symbolism! Heh!

DrBill's avatar

it is important to remember that just because someone is into BDSM does not mean they do absolutely everything in the BDSM Glossary

jca's avatar

@wundayatta: the things you mentioned that you think are not BDSM are definitely BDSM. Just because they seem less hardcore does not make them any less BDSM.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@DrBill And then some guys say that they’re into BDSM and you suspect it’s just the playful kind until you step into their dungeon!

DrBill's avatar

@KatetheGreat

reminds me of me.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@DrBill Hahahaha, you sadistic freak!~

DrBill's avatar

@KatetheGreat

thank you, it is nice to be recognized for true qualities

Porifera's avatar

Oh no! Never. Ever.

Jeruba's avatar

What happens between consenting adults is cool with me and I don’t judge it. As @syz says, the key words are safe, sane, and consensual. The people I know who are into the scene stand by those safeguards. They negotiate, they set limits, they use safewords. They also enjoy themselves immensely.

I have been a respectful guest/observer at a dungeon on several occasions and also at a couple of private parties, courtesy of my adventuresome friend who is really into it. It’s not my thing and I wasn’t tempted to participate, but as ever I am fascinated with the things people do and the reasons why they do them. I watched, listened, and asked lots of questions, which people answered very openly and courteously. It was an education for me in many ways, not least of all that there is no sharp line of demarcation between “normal” and “kinky” sex—it is a continuum. The experiences taught me a completely different view of behavior that I had once thought alien and freaky.

Smashley's avatar

DS is important to me, achieved mostly through SM and B but to a lesser extent D.

ETpro's avatar

@Smashley Feel free to decline comment if you prefer, but just for my curiosity, I have to ask. Are you more D or S?

ETpro's avatar

@Smashley Oh cool. You’re so rare a breed. I kind of thought so based on the screen name.

DrBill's avatar

I’m an M

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