Social Question

anonman's avatar

(NSFW) Can you please help ease my concerns?

Asked by anonman (99 points ) July 13th, 2011

Hi guys, sorry to violate the rules a little on this one, but I need some anonymity. Not from you guys, many of you will be able to figure out who I am. I just need some anonymity from the real world on this one. Yea, shit is about to get interesting.

I am a male, and had sex with a female last night. Sloppy, pathetic drunken sex.

I am now in favor of abstinence only, as I am shit scared that I have everything from herpes to full blown AIDS, to full blown AIDS phobia.

Last night, a girl sucked on my penis for about 30 minutes with no condom. I have no idea where she has been, and know for a fact that some STD or more precisely, STIs can be ttransmittedby men from being given oral sex.

I also had vaginal sex with her, however for this I used a condom. and that only really lasted for a few minutes. Having said that, The condom did slip at one point, and my penis got mushed up against the outside of her vagina.

I also fingered her some, mainly in the vagina.

She also finished me off with her hand and no protection.

I also touched my self a bit, in fact the end was more of a co-op thing.

WTF is wrong with me. FML.

In 3–4 months I will go and get my self tested for STDs and STIs, and will do nothing until then.

However, until then I need some piece of mind. If I show any symptoms I will obviously go get checked sooner.

Please verify for me that the information I have is correct…

I am at low risk of any STD at this point, as only a few STDs can be infected by being given oral sex. (deep oral sex, chlamydia can reside in the throat.)

I am at low risk because even one off unprotected vaginal sex with a known HIV positive person, will only infect the male 1 of 10 times, and I used 99% efficient protection when I went anywhere near the vagina.

I am at low risk because I was not penetrated by another man, ingested fluids, or did anything with my mouth other than some nipple and neck.

I am at low risk because only 1% of the population have an STD at any given time (even if they are a raging slut), it does not always transmit, and I was partly protected.

I have cause for concern, and should get my self checked for everything, twice, in 3–4 months time.

To make things worse, she is now bombarding me with calls for more sex, even though I have explained to her that I don’t think we should do anything sexual together until 3–4 months time until we have both been tested.

Should I really be that worried at this point?

Also, what the fuck is wrong with me? am I missing something in my life? am I just a small and stupid person?

@cruiser answered one of my questions the other day in a way that kind of hinted that there could be something wrong with me. I would specially like to hear what @cruiser has to say regarding the last paragraph.

Is it a mid life crisis or something? at 28?

I’m sure some of you have figured out by my writing style, @cruiser must have certainly figured out who I am, and all the mods or admins with access to IP’s and such absolutely know who I am, but please do me a solid on this one guys. Don’t mention my username or link to anything to do with my main account. I could have used a proxy, I could have covered my tracks, but as I said, It’s not you I’m trying to be anonymous from. Its non-fluther uses. I’m trusting you guys on this one.

Finally, I am putting this in the social section, because I don’t want anything to be moderated, but I am looking for serious answers. Also, yes, it is ok to laugh and mock, even I find the idea of me dropping dead from AIDS in a few years time funny, all be it on some dark fucked up level.

Anyway, lets have at it…

p.s. I have a dull ache at the base of my cock from being jerked off too rough, but it is not helping me ease the STD fears one bit.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

98 Answers

chyna's avatar

Have you asked her if she has any diseases?

josie's avatar

Sorry dude. Can’t help you. But if you are infected, you are. And there is nothing you can do.
So stay busy and think about something else until you get tested, or get a drip.
Also, do the world a favor. Abstain until you know.

Aethelflaed's avatar

For AIDS, you do need to wait 3 months. But for the other ones? Not so much. So go to a doctor. There’s really nothing we can say – yes, your chances are low, but they’re not non-existent, and the only way to know is to get tested by a doctor.

anonman's avatar

I can put my mind at ease with knowing most STI can be cured with antibiotics. Its mainly the fear of AIDS that it getting to me, even though I know that my chances of getting AIDS from my experience is almost zero. There has never been a documented case of someone getting HIV from recieving oral, even though it is technically possible. Even so, fml.

Aethelflaed's avatar

Yeah… drink some tea? Do some yoga? Meditate? Do whatever it is you normally do to stop freaking out, because freaking out won’t have any impact on if you have AIDS. And just ask the girl if she’s clean.

anonman's avatar

@chyna She says no, and bush said mission accomplished.

anonman's avatar

@Aethelflaed I’m trying to quit the things I usually do to stop freaking out. Maybe that is adding to the stress, even my aforementioned stupid behaviour.

anonman's avatar

BQ.

Considering I will be going to the doctor in a week, and again in 3–4 months, and will be abstinent until then, and that this is a fact.

How much is my paranoia causing me to over react?

Written's avatar

Listen, you shouldn’t worry too much. :) I mean, you do need to take things more seriously, especially with all those STDs around, but, you’re not the first or the last person who will have drunken sex. S*** happens.

And why even think she has AIDS? Relax. Just, relax. As for the ’‘what’s wrong with me, am I missing something in my life’’ -> by the sounds of it, you had a good time. Sure, it wasn’t necessary, but it happened. Nothing strange, crazy or wrong with that, to be honest. To be even more honest, those kind of scenarios happen on a daily basis where I live. :) [not to me tho xD]

Relax. You should take a test in the near future, but, just relax. Ask the girl if she has any STDs, and if she says no, no reason to worry. [however, do take a test, just to be sure]

chyna's avatar

My only advice is to stop getting sloppy drunk. You have no control over yourself when you do.

anonman's avatar

BQ: Hypothetical worse case scenario…

She not only has the jack, she has a full house. Taking my actions in to consideration, is it possible to calculate the risk of both herpes and HIV? (roughly even?)

FutureMemory's avatar

This is mostly over getting a bareback blowjob?

anonman's avatar

@FutureMemory Yea… I’ll cop to paranoia, thats for sure. The Spok in me is telling me I’m wasting my time with worry, just wait a week and see if it falls off first, but he is not helping.

Coloma's avatar

You need to see a doctor in a few weeks for some tests to be sure.
You sound like a young guy with little self control and a booze issue.

Clean up your act and stop drinking if you keep making poor decisions like this.

Everyone can be young and stupid once or twice, but, if it’s a pattern, quit drinking!

Sloppy drunken sex with people you don’t know well won’t happen if you are sober.

anonman's avatar

Some level of guilt could be fueling this too, I have not cheated on anyone, but yea… sucks a little too much to keep typing what I was going to say.

Written's avatar

To be honest, perfectly honest, I wouldn’t feel bad if that happened to me last night.

I would feel awesome. :) Not kidding. Don’t see anything wrong in that. But that’s just, me and my sick mind and habbits. [sure I’m not the only one]

anonman's avatar

@Written A week ago I would have been totally with you on that. A week ago.

mostly

Aethelflaed's avatar

Ok, you can’t get her STD from her giving you a blowjob. If you have something, she can catch your STD from giving you an unprotected blowjob. Or you could catch her STD by going down on her. But oral sex creates something of a one-way street for catching STDs.

Written's avatar

What has changed since then?

anonman's avatar

@Written I got what I wished for.

Written's avatar

Which is? xD

anonman's avatar

@chyna fucking roflmao, thx, I needed that.

no, a bj

anonman's avatar

@josie “or get a drip.”

typo grip? you lost me.

redfeather's avatar

You can get tested and get your results in 10 days or less… Doesn’t take 3–4 months. Except for AIDs. Put your own mind at ease and go to the dr tomorrow and get tested. And you’re 28? Maybe you should wait a few more years and mature some more before you try and have sex again…

anonman's avatar

@redfeather I don’t think maturity is going to be a problem much longer. I can recall feeling similar to part of what I’m feeling now at different stages of my life. First it was 10, then 17, then 22, now it looks like 28 again.

dappled_leaves's avatar

You didn’t cheat on anyone?? Why are you feeling so guilty then? And dude, you don’t have anything. You’ll be fine.

mazingerz88's avatar

Based on your detailed account, you have nothing to worry about except getting AiDS due to too much worrying. Oh wait, AIDS does not do that. I’ll bet 100 bucks you don’t even have anything except skin irritation. And even if you did, gonorrhea or such is treatable.

Know what your real problem is? You have to accept the fact that you’re sexual hormones are kickin and if you clear this recent scare, chances are you will have sex again and repeat being careless. That’s who you are and now time to make it who you were.

Don’t be like a friend of mine who had gonorrhea on and off for years and almost went crazy everytime he thought he had AiDS. Only at the age of 35 did he stop and used condoms for highly questionable sexual encounters. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just one horny bastard.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@mazingerz88 Gonorrhea has developed a superstrain we can’t treat with antibiotics.

redfeather's avatar

@anonman yeah, but damn. Do you freak out like this every time you have sex?

Cruiser's avatar

Smoke some pot, dye your hair pink and spike it….that will take your mind off your problems! ;)

anonman's avatar

@Aethelflaed yup… thats the one i have allright, im that unlucky lol. jk.

redfeather's avatar

Sooo…. She should be the one worrying because you have a superstrain of untreatable gonorrhea?

anonman's avatar

@redfeather No… I have not had me some random slut since my late teens. It’s been a decade now since I used to sleep around. I decided I liked serious relationships more.

mazingerz88's avatar

@Aethelflaed I maybe wrong but the article says it appears to be increasing in resistance. This has been going on with Gonorrhea since in the mid-90s. Antibiotics still work combined with other drugs. I’m sure biotech companies would not stop creating new drugs too since it’s profitable for them.

anonman's avatar

@redfeather that reminds me…

I have never had any kind of STD, hence an even greater reduced risk.

redfeather's avatar

I’m gonna go all feminist for a second. You’re calling her the slut because you got sloppy drunk and did her? Reeeeal nice.

I’m not gonna quell your fears. Get herpes and learn your lesson.

mazingerz88's avatar

@anonman Buddy I just hope you don’t have a case of S.U.C.K. Gonorrhea

Superstrain Untreatable Cock Killer Gonorrhea

Aethelflaed's avatar

@mazingerz88 It’s more that it’s getting to the point of being untreatable with the drugs we have, and yes drug companies will try to come up with new ones, but that doesn’t mean we can count on it within x number of years.

@redfeather I lurve you.

mazingerz88's avatar

@redfeather Ooooo, now I see the red in the redfeather there. Lol. You’re right though. : )

Hey, you know what, I lurve you too! Heh.

redfeather's avatar

::takes a bow::

anonman's avatar

@redfeather A slut can call another slut a slut, and if there is no denial, there is no hypocracy. My actions are far from applaudible, but that does not change the fact that she is in fact a slut, there is simply no way or getting round that.

Nice person? hell yes. Worthy of respect as another human being? totally. Just a tincy wincy bit of a slut?... yup.

Also, wtf with the herpes wish, that shit is fucked up lol. You know that stuff cant be cured right? wishing a ruined life on someone for a passive agressive factual insult? ... lets just be glad feminists cant grow funnly little mustaches.

EDIT: you still get lurve btw.

Pele's avatar

Maybe she’s worried that you may have givin her something.

FutureMemory's avatar

@Pele anonman and redfeather don’t know each other in real life.

KateTheGreat's avatar

All you can do is wait. Get tested as soon as possible and start being responsible for once. You’re 28 and you should know to have the “STD talk” with people you sleep with. Put your big boy boxers on and start being responsible! I’m pretty sure that you wouldn’t have these fears if you didn’t put yourself in a situation like this. I’m sure you’re quite intelligent, giving that you’re actually worried about this, but I suggest that you take this as a lesson.

Random sluts are not the way to go, dear.

FutureMemory's avatar

@anonman Just call me SuperJelly.

Pele's avatar

@FutureMemory I figured they didn’t. I was referring to the question, not the thread.

Pele's avatar

Just get checked up. Then you’ll know.

anonman's avatar

@Pele I’m not just positive that @FutureMemory already knows that, I’m hiv positive! lolz i’m gonna die some day.

redfeather's avatar

I smell a troll.

anonman's avatar

@redfeather I assure you I am no troll.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather I think you’re troll sensor is broken! :)

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Read…“The Biology of Belief” by Bruce Lipton…and chill. Your mind is the most powerful healer you have, so don’t cloud it with negative obsessions and “what if“s…that’s the worst thing you can do. Get tested when you can, till then just calm down and go for a hike, run, get out in the sunshine, get your mind off this horrible nightmare you are creating. There is nothing you can do, it’s done, you can, however, change your mind about how you are dealing with this…right now.

But don’t do that again, please

anonman's avatar

@DarlingRhadamanthus I swear on my soon to be rotten off balls that I wont do this again.

redfeather's avatar

Okay. You are not a troll and I know who you are now. But damn. You’re 28, why are you acting like this?! And you’re HIV positive? Does the slut know that?

anonman's avatar

@redfeather If your last few questions are serious, you are being led astray by my strange sense of humor.

I can guarantee that two days ago I had nothing.

dappled_leaves's avatar

He’s not HIV positive. He’s freaking out because he had sex. He does have problems, just not the ones he thinks he has…

anonman's avatar

@dappled_leaves I’m oppen to further interpretation if you like. I am begining to suspect I have some kind of psychological problem. The recent behaviour is very out of character.

redfeather's avatar

Yeah it is, I’ve noticed that just from your recent Fluther questions. You should definitely make a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. This is reminding me of those “am I pregnant?” questions. Do we look like pee sticks?! Haha

faye's avatar

30 minutes?!!!

KateTheGreat's avatar

@redfeather I just lol’d way too hard.

anonman's avatar

Alcohol played a big part in this, and I don’t normally drink, but I can’t blame the booze. I can blame my self for drinking it, but what I did I did because I consciously decided to. I remember clearly.

@redfeather I am not asking for any kind of diagnosis, Im only trying to ease my mind a bit until I can get scientific proof that I’m whatever I am.

@faye I was very drunk… I could feel enough to get hard and enjoy it, but not enough for it to go anywhere without more intense stimulation. ... if you really need to know lol.

KateTheGreat's avatar

I kind of know how you feel, to a point. I had a problem with thinking I was pregnant every time I had sex. It’s pretty bad anxiety, but you’ve just gotta learn to talk yourself down.

anonman's avatar

… perhaps blind faith can some times be useful. If only I was not so skeptical of everything.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Quit being a sloppy drunk.

Get tested in a few months.

Fucking BREATHE.

SpatzieLover's avatar

Good Lord…Give it a rest for a couple of weeks and STOP all this nonsense you’re creating.

You are NOT having a mid-life crisis at 28. You are feeling the pangs of realizing it’s time to grow up, act like a man and take responsibility for your actions.

anonman's avatar

Part of the problem is also that I’m an inpatient person.

just thinking out loud

KateTheGreat's avatar

Then again, is your foreskin turning purple? Does your dick feel like the wrath of 10,000 crabs are pulling you in every direction? Do you feel like a weasel is gnawing on your balls?” if so, you might have an STD. Seriously, don’t worry so much.

redfeather's avatar

@KatetheGreat yes yes yes yes YES

anonman's avatar

@KatetheGreat I have a very very mild dull ache at the base and middle of my penis. I suspect, the girl got impatient and jerked me a little too hard. but it has been 24 hours now… :S

EDIT: I have also been working out quite hard lately, could have pulled something.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@anonman No, no, no. You’ve got it wrong. That’s the leprechaun in your pants that taunts you for every time you do something stupid like that. ;)

Trust me, if men are like women in any sense at all, it’ll hurt for a while if she did something too hard. I know that if I engage in something rough, I’m going to walk around like an 80 year old woman for a few days.

Coloma's avatar

@anonman

“an INPATIENT”?
Aaah, that explains everything!

Did you meet this girl in your 6th floor basket weaving class? lol

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I want you to picture this…Judy Garland…one of the last scenes in the Wizard of Oz…Glinda is standing above her…but instead of saying “There’s no place like home….” Close your eyes and say, “It’s okay to have sex, it’s okay to have sex, it’s okay to have sex.” Be sure that in that scenario you picture you are clutching a box of condoms and that Glinda is not poking you with her magic wand.

Seriously, let go of the guilt. It’s done. Stop beating yourself up.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@Pandora Trust me, I’m laughing at my own jokes over here. LOL.

FutureMemory's avatar

@faye 30 minutes?!!!

I know, right? I want to meet that girl.

anonman's avatar

@FutureMemory +0034 971 58****

Then you can go get tested for me… It will be like when someone opens a scary letter for you.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

OMG….I hadn’t seen the 30 minutes!! Did she use a snorkel????

anonman's avatar

@DarlingRhadamanthus As the saying goes… If I don’t see a tear in your eye, you don’t love me.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

She must have been weeping, darling.

KateTheGreat's avatar

30 minutes? I didn’t see that either. Well shit, she’s committed.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Or needs to be committed. ;)

anonman's avatar

@KatetheGreat she should be

EDIT: ninja’d again!

FutureMemory's avatar

She needs to give lessons.

Pandora's avatar

You wasn’t that drunk if you still knew the time. However, I dare say, she must’ve been drunk as hell and thought she was milking the bottle.

anonman's avatar

@FutureMemory She did seem to know what she was doing, perhaps another reason to worry. You could tell she had clocked some hours.

now we have found the level.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

At the top of this answer page, this is found:Add topics to your profile, and we’ll be able to give you interesting questions! To get started, search for topics you’re interested in, like “gardening” or “law”.

Would this be filed under “gardening” or “law”? Or “Houdini”?

KateTheGreat's avatar

Shit, I’d have to be very drunk to do something that long. I’d probably just laugh at the efforts and give up.

anonman's avatar

… you are making the little voice in my head louder, the one that says “fuck it, just fuck the bitch for the next 11 years until the AIDS kills you, you’ve had a good run”

EDIT: “your puss stump will still be sensetive, you could still do stuff” ... that will get moded lol. soz, i’m sick i know.

FutureMemory's avatar

I wonder if she had any pain in her jaw by the time things ended…I know my jaw starts to ache after performing cunnilingus for an extended period.

anonman's avatar

@FutureMemory She did mention it once or twice… “just 5 more minutes”

anonman's avatar

Ahh see… now I’m bragging… see, thats just the kind of fucking moron I am. I have gone from sever concern to total comedic disregard.

Got to get checked.

Off to sleep, it’s 6am and I have work tomorrow.

Thx all, ill swing back in tomorrow.

tedd's avatar

I preface this by saying I didn’t read any of the posts after the OP.

It sounds like you’re over-reacting. Could you have contracted some kind of std from her, yes you could have. But just judging by the sound of your entire post, this is one of your first (if not the first) time having sex with someone besides maybe a super long time g/f you knew was a virgin.

Don’t worry so much about it. If you start to notice any marks or something definitely get it checked out (pretty much nothing will show in a day or less though so the dull ache is just as you suspect, soreness). Could be worth an aids test, but frankly the odds aren’t that high (but aids tests are super easy and free at a lot of clinics so if you’re super concerned do that before your next “sexual congress” with anyone). More than likely though, its nothing.

Good luck.

KateTheGreat's avatar

@anonman The moral of the story is, don’t take everything so seriously! If you have AIDS, so what? You can still live a life. And I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t mind sharing her misery of having AIDS with you as well.

You’ll be fine, grasshopper.

augustlan's avatar

Dude, I really hope you are sleeping this off. Chances are, you’ll be just fine.

Don’t throw around the word ‘slut’, for the woman or yourself, ok?

anonman's avatar

@tedd The freaking out part does remind me of my first time, but thats the thing, I have plenty of experience, with quite a few people. However, It had been a while for me, a long while. Maybe that has something to do with it.

majorrich's avatar

Shoulda taken a roofie. then you wouldn’t be worryin’ about something you dont remember.

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