How to make people like me?

I would think just try being interested in people’s lives that you want to get to like you. Ask them pertinent questions about themselves or their activities. Many people enjoy talking about themselves. So just ask away and listen!

You can’t ‘make’ people like you. Some will and some will not. I think you can drive yourself a bit crazy trying to be someone you aren’t. If you are a serious person, that is fine. Some people love serious people and find those more frivolous types very annoying.

So how to be more likeable? Be yourself. Be authentic and true to yourself. Care about other people too. Remember to ask people how they are doing? Ask people about what they like to do and to remember things they have told you. Try not to be too self absorbed and be interested in learning about the people around you. Be inquisitive but don’t force it. People can tell when you are ‘trying’ to be friendly.

The best person you can be, is the person you are and you will attract people who like you just as you are.

I profess interest in other people.

When you find yourself sitting near someone, just ask them a question. You: I like X music, especially Y band. What kind of music do you like?

Then listen carefully to their answer and build on it. (Perhaps another question. Perhaps a statement.)

Just observe your friend who is easy about conversing. Try to emulate him or her.

There is no answer for this. People will like you for who you are. Be yourself and find people who share the same interests and values as you. You will automatically feel loved. Not all of us are born to be extroverts.

p.s. what is up with @Hchlorine ?? Is he a troll?

@sarahhhhh Yes, you’ll see them periodically when you’re on at this point in the night when the mods from North America are asleep.

Opens trench coat .. anyone wanna buy a pair of shoes?

You are a natural poet, my dear. Focus on that!
But as for the question, I would say be yourself. I know it’s a cliche but I often see how people who are left alone(but don’t want to) are the ones who act like someone else… They hide the true selves. Get into drama, that may help a lot!

@Hchlorine Spamming for footwear will probably yield the opposite results.

Do not, absolutely do not, try to “make people like you”.

I belong to a Meetup group that I avoid more often than not right now because of just such a person. There’s nothing at all “wrong” with him. He’s a very nice guy, and extremely friendly.

But it pisses me off to no end that he attempts to be “aggressively friendly” and to be involved with every conversation, to always attempt to be “the life of the party”, and to be friendly to a very annoying degree, at least as I see things.

My advice is to be yourself, even if you happen to be this guy that I don’t like to be around. Many others seem to like him just fine, and I’m not going to try to undercut that; to each his own. You can’t make everyone like you, and you’d be foolish to try.

I think if you’re reasonably honest and reasonably friendly and a reasonably good conversationalist, you’ll do reasonably well in terms of friends. Don’t try to compare your relationships to those that others have; that way also lies envy and disappointment. Those aren’t good foundations for friendship, either.

Be yourself. Be genuine. You can’t make people like you. It may take a while for people to make their way through your shell, but you just have to show that it’s worth it when they do.

Try not to think about it and try not to let it bother you. There’s nothing more off-putting than a person who’s trying too hard to be likeable.

Like your self, no one will like you if you don’t even like your self.

I’m not exactly the most optimistic and bubbly person either, but I am content, and am mostly pleased with who I am and what I do.

Hey there oxemtuler,

Your question’s an interesting one because I’m sure that for most people at some point in their lives they feel like they’d like to attract people to them more easily, so you’re really not alone in how you feel. It might well be that this feeling is all in your ‘imagination’, but of course that knowledge alone is not going to deal with your dilemma. There are some really helpful answers on here already, such as asking people questions about themselves and not trying too hard etc., but my feeling is the first thing you could be doing is looking at yourself and asking yourself: ‘How do I feel about me?’. My impression is that, like many people (including myself at times), you may not be entirely content with yourself on the inside, and are therefore looking to people on the outside to make you feel better. Sure this may work for a bit, but the only thing that will really bring you a lasting feeling of confidence and happiness is by changing the way you look at yourself. The people who are really most confident are those that don’t actually let what other people think of them effect them deep down. Of course if someone said something mean to them, or something nice, this would have some impact (we are human after all and the ego is always there somewhere!), but it wouldn’t have a lasting effect because those people are already happy with who they are and how they do things, and even when they behave in ways they later look at and dislike, they use this as a way of growing and developing themselves; they change the things they can and simply accept those things that they can’t.

People are drawn to each other based on an exchange of energy, something that is often happening on levels that we can’t see. For example, have you ever noticed that when someone’s angry – even if it’s in a quiet way – you automatically keep a greater physical distance from them than if they were happy?

First thing I advise you to do is to take a good look at yourself and see what you find. If there are things you don’t like, ask yourself ‘How can I change this?’. If you feel there is something you can change, change it; if you can’t change it, then just accept it as a part of who you are, and one of the things that makes you YOU. And be sure to make note of all the things you DO like about yourself, even if they are only tiny. For example, are you creative in some way? Are you kind to animals? Do you really listen when other people talk? I’ve no doubt that there are many things that make you wonderful as an individual, so find out what those things are and learn to appreciate yourself. Believe me, when you feel good about yourself, you will find that the world you see around you looks very different from when you don’t; people will be more attracted to being in your presence, and strangely, when that happens, you’ll find yourself feeling happy and confident enough within yourself that it really doesn’t matter any more anyway!

I’ll leave you with this quote to ponder over:

‘We see the world, not as it is, but as we are.’

Good luck!

I really enjoy everyone’s advice here. @poisonedantidote and @Schroedes13 advice really speaks to me personally. First, learn to love yourself. Go ahead, it’s ok to do that. Hard sometimes but it’s really ok so just love yourself up and shine like a diamond! As well, put more effort into asking people about their lives and interests, problems… Rare to find a good listening ear. Too many folk are ready to speak, but unwilling to listen.

In listening, don’t be so quick tempted to offer advice solutions. You’re unqualified to associate with the deeper issues in their lives. Just listen and offer support for their solutions. Validate them! You’ll be amazed at what that does for your public image.

Be interesting…seriously. Research a variety of divergent topics. Practise how to smile (practise makes perfect). Learn how to ask questions. Listen to people and I mean_ really_ listen to them. From listening you’ll be able to ask more questions. Stay away from highly contentious topics like politics and religion.

You may want to practise meditating as that will help you gain an inner peace which is usually attractive to other people.

Seems like there has been a spate of questions like this lately. Is it the summertime that brings them out?

When I was young, maybe age 16–20, when I was first interested in girls, but had not yet lost my virginity, I was often lonely and wondering what was wrong with me. I found out later in life that about half the population is like this. But we are so good at being unnoticed, that it only looks like everyone else is happy and social and getting laid.

Frankly, I think there is an advantage to be slower to develop. I think that by the time slow people learn social skills, they are much better equipped to handle relationships.

Be that as it may, I understand the loneliness and the desire to be socially successful and to have more intimate relations with persons of the sex of interest. Here’s some bad news: this is a problem that, for me, comes and goes. Here’s some good news—and managed to become quite popular by the time I was 22 or 23, which is fine, except I had no idea I was popular. It was so far out of my experience that I didn’t even know it when it happened.

I have to say that ages 16–18 were the worst time of my life. I don’t think that’s uncommon. I don’t know how old you are, but if you are in the worst time of your life, it will get better.

When I was 17, I asked a friend who was a girl what girls wanted. She gave me the best piece of advice I ever received in my life. She said that girls wanted someone to listen to them.

It seems that guys are so full of the effort to try to impress the girl, that the girl thinks he only thinks about himself. They don’t like that.

Many girls have a lot of secret sadness and truthfully, they are dying to find someone who will listen to them and care. And that’s all you have to do. Listen. And care. I mean really listen, not listen with an agenda. Many girls have never been listened to by a man in their lives.

The cool thing about listening is that you barely need to talk. Sometimes they’ll say, “But enough about me. I don’t want to get boring. What about you?” But it is trivial to get them to start talking again. I mean, you can talk if you want to, but try to keep it balanced with both of you getting equal air time. All I’m saying is that you don’t have to talk much if you don’t want to. Most women are dying to find someone who will listen to them.

There are actually courses in communications skills. So if you are a little flummoxed by this idea, you can learn to listen better. They also teach active listening in psychology classes.

Now, much of the time, you’ll become a friend rather than a love interest. But that’s ok. If you like women, as I do, having bunches of female friend is great. All you need is one who is interested in you romantically. And all those friends you make—once they know how lonely you are, they will often want to play match-maker. It is a good thing to have many women friends.

Unless you don’t like women, in which case this has been a waste of time. And I don’t mean in the sense that you might be gay. I mean that there are some men who just don’t really like women. They see them as creatures to get over on. They just want sex. They won’t listen to them and when they talk about women, these guys are always saying nasty things about them.

Which is another thing. If you want relationships with women, then you should never say or think a nasty thing about them, ever. If the other guys are making fun of them, don’t go along with it. There are a lot of misogynistic men out there. God. So many, it’s unbelievable, but if you become a guy who listens, you will do very well. Better than you can possibly imagine. Better, even, than players. Because you’re not just getting sex, you are actually forming caring relationships. And those are so much more valuable and fulfilling then merely spending a night in bed with someone.

Just be yourself and try to be as helpful and respectful as possible to people around you. There are many aspects why one is more attractive than other people, such as like appearance, personality, social status, relations, etc.

You will find someone who like you the way you are when you have something in common with that person, or something can be used to impress someone. It’s inevitable that some people are more popular than others, have more friends than others, etc but what is hard is to find a real best friend who understand you and accept you the way you are. And I don’t think smiling a lot is a sign of friendliness, it’s creepy…

I suggest holding them at gun point. Ok, ok joking.

You don’t want to make someone like you. Be kind, listen, and stop being jealous. Forcing a smile won’t help. Stop over-thinking this and stop comparing yourself to your friend. You have friends, go and be friendly.

I don’t believe in “be yourself” if you don’t like who you are. What you can do is think about what you like in other people, and be that. In other words, to make people like you, be likeable.

Im sorry but i disagree with yarnlady. I think the only way YOU are going to be happy is by being yourself. I tried to change and i hated it. I’m awkward a bit and a lot different from the typical preppy girl, I don’t like to dress up i think the most girly thing i do is my makeup cause im in the habit of it cause I’ve done it since i was 8 (started breaking out early and couldn’t get the acne to go away) I’ve always had a love for video games. I use to skateboard. I was never the girly type person. I tried to go preppy and it didn’t work at all i hated it the females i started hanging out with where bitchy, underhanded, and two faced. Alot of drama was around them and I didn’t like it. I would just honestly be your self and the people that accept you and are happy with you how you are and don’t try to change you are your real friends. The way I look at it is I rather have a hand full of friends who i can trust and accept me for who I am then be friends with the whole world and have to watch my back.

I’m so glad that many people answered this question.
And I truly thank you everyone for your sincere and heartfelt answers…
Applying your advice will benefit me immediately I hope…
Have nice days!! :-)